Hot-Spring Scramble/Script

Opening Dialogue

 * Chrom: Hmm... I'm fairly certain this is the place...
 * Merchant: Oh, welcome! You must be Chrom. I have your reservation right here. Has your whole party arrived, or are you still waiting on a few?
 * Chrom: Umm... First, could you just confirm we've arrived in the, er...you know?
 * Merchant: The Bathrealm? That's right. Don't be embarrassed. My sisters DID explain what you're in for when they invited you, I hope?
 * Chrom: Well...they thanked us for protecting the Outrealms and gave us these passes... Apparently you have some sort of healing waters in which we can soak?
 * Merchant: That's right--our hot springs. Each has its own special properties! Anyway, make yourselves right at home. We're honored to have you. If anyone has earned some R &amp; R, it's celebrities like you!
 * Chrom: Not this again...
 * Merchant: Oh, yes. You guys are HUGE in the Outrealms. Everyone knows you! We even voted on which of you we like the most.
 * Chrom: Yes, so we discovered when we visited the beach resort you invited us to. ...Thank your sister for making me prance around in those smallclothes, by the way.
 * Merchant: It was a swimsuit! Yeesh... Anyway, I can see how that might have been a bit intimidating. Fortunately, you don't have to show nearly as much skin here! Instead, you get to wear yukatas.
 * Chrom: Yukatas? What are those?
 * Merchant: You've never heard of a yukata? Well, take a look at the one I've got on. It's basically a loose robe that you fasten with a belt called an "obi." ...See? Totally modest and dignified.
 * Chrom: Yes, refreshingly so.
 * Merchant: Heh heh. Told ya. There's no better way to spend a day at the springs. Looks like all your swordmasters have already slipped into theirs... I guess a yukata isn't too far a cry from what they were wearing already. Now it's your turn! I've got a special yukata for you right here...
 * Chrom: That mark again?! Why does all my clothing have to have the Brand on it?
 * Merchant: Huh? But my sister said you looked really good in it.
 * Chrom: Yeah, well, your sisters say a lot of things...
 * Lissa: Chrom!
 * Chrom: What is it, Lissa?
 * Merchant: Hi there! Are you looking for your yukata?
 * Chrom: Do they even make yukatas in sizes that small?
 * Lissa: Har har, very funny. Do I look like I'm in a laughing mood? I just went to check out the hot springs, and they're full of monsters! GROSS!
 * Chrom: You mean Risen?!
 * Merchant: Ugh, not again... See what happens when you set up shop in snow country? The hot springs are the warmest place for miles, so wildlife just won't stay away.
 * Lissa: Um, these guys weren't fluffy enough to be called "wildlife"... Anyway, Chrom, are you coming or not?! We can't relax in the water until we kill all the dead things in it.
 * Chrom: Good point. And they might attack the other guests... To the hot springs, everyone! We have to take those Risen down!
 * Merchant: And away they go. I don't think his swordmasters even had time to change back into their clothes... Well, no harm done. Maybe I can convince a few more of them to try on yukatas! I even cooked up some special hair dye to complete the look I'm going for...

Before Battle Starts

 * Lucina: So these are the hot springs? They really do look just like a giant bath. Our future never held anything even half as lovely as this... Just look at the foliage floating there on the water! It's breathtaking... I look forward to relaxing here once the fighting is done.
 * Merchant: ATTENTION, SHEPHERDS. THIS IS A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. *Click* *hiss* ANYONE HEAR ME?
 * Lucina: Hear you?! Gods, every word is like a hammer strike...
 * Merchant: WHAT, TOO LOUD? *screech* ...Sorry. There. I adjusted the volume. I'm using a Megaphone tome to speak long distance. It's an Anna original. It gets steamy in the springs, so we needed a system to locate lost guests. ...Oh, when you reply, please speak clearly into those magical stones, okay?
 * Lucina: Amazing. You've thought of everything. So what is this "special announcement"?
 * Merchant: Well, remember how I mentioned we voted on which of you we like best? Turns out the results are in, and I get to award the top four a very special prize!
 * Lucina: Only four of us?
 * Merchant: Aww, don't worry. ALL of you are popular. It's just...well...some of you are easier to latch on to than others, I guess. Today's vote is just for those of you visiting from the future. So do you want to know who won? Of course you do! For the men, the winners are... Drumroll, please... Owain aaaaaand...Inigo! Let's give it up! Woo! And for the ladies, we have... Lucina aaaaaand...Severa! You go, girls. Now which of you four are here with us today? Wait right here at this winners' circle to claim your prize. I promise to turn each of you into a brand-new you!
 * Lucina: Brand-new you? What exactly does that mean?
 * Merchant: You'll just have to drop by and see! Don't worry. I'll stay here as long as it takes.
 * Lucina: This sounds worrisome...

After Battle Starts

 * Merchant: Hey, Avatar... Is it me, or do the enemy swordmasters look WAY too comfy in there? It's like they haven't even noticed you. ...Who knew the dead liked to soak? Maybe you can pick them off with bows or magic before they snap out of it.
 * (Text box: The enemy swordmasters will not take action for the first 7 turns. They will enter the fray on Turn 8.)