Summer Scramble/Script

Opening Dialogue

 * Chrom: ...Huh? Now where are we?
 * Merchant: Oh, you finally made it! Welcome to the Hotrealm, the Outrealms' hottest resort! It's about time you arrived. I was starting to worry.
 * Chrom: "Hotrealm"? WHat does...er... Beg pardon, milady—we seem to have caught you changing outfits. Please, finish dressing first and then we can chat.
 * Merchant: What do you mean, finish? I'm fully dressed already! Haven't you ever seen a bikini before?
 * Chrom: ...Is that what they call smallclothes in this realm?
 * Merchant: Smallclothes?! Wow, you really are from the sticks, aren't you? A bikini is just a two-piece swimsuit. ...You DO know what a swimsuit is, right?
 * Chrom: Heh. I'm familiar with the concept, yes...
 * Merchant: Really? 'Cause by the way you're staring, I'd swear this is the first you've seen...
 * Chrom: Huh? ...Oh, that! Well, I was, er, merely admiring the design!
 * Merchant: Uh-huh. So that flush in your cheeks is just sunburn, right? Or perhaps you're picturing someone else in a similarly "admirable" design, hmm?
 * Chrom: What? No! What sort of degenerate do you take me for?
 * Merchant: All right, well, you'll get used to it. This is pretty typical dress here in the Hotrealm. In fact, this is one of the more conservative outfits... Anyway, where are my manners? Let me show you to your cabana.
 * Chrom: We have a cabana...? It almost sounds like you've been expecting us...
 * Merchant: Well, of COURSE we have, silly! Who do you think sent the invitation?
 * Chrom: Invitation? We received no invitation.
 * Merchant: WHAT?! You didn't? Not even the brochures? The lotion samples?!
 * Chrom: Sorry.
 * Merchant: Ugh, I cannot believe this. We had the perfect vacation all planned out for you. Stupid interrealm mail service! I mean, you ARE the Shepherds, right? My sisters told me about how you've been going around saving the Outrealms... We all agreed the LEAST we could do is give you a day pass to the resort.
 * Chrom: Oh? Well, that's very kind of you. ...Not as kind as actually helping us in battle rather than just watching, but—
 * Merchant: Hey, you guys are bona fide celebrities. You were made to be stared at!
 * Chrom: I...don't think that's true at all, actually—
 * Merchant: All right, no more protesting! You're going to frolic in the water, and that's that! Now, your sorcerer friends have already changed into their swimsuits. If they can do it, so can you, big guy. Go on, show a little skin! Here. I've got a swimsuit just for you. It's embroidered with the Ylissean Brand!
 * Chrom: Um...whose idea was it to embroider it right smack in the middle of my—
 * Frederick: Milord!
 * Chrom: Frederick! ...Save me.
 * Merchant: Hey, handsome. Want to try on your lord's swimsuit since he won't wear it?
 * Chrom: Better you than me, Frederick.
 * Frederick: I fear my derriere is not worthy. ...And more importantly, the beach has been overrun by brigands!
 * Chrom: What?!
 * Merchant: Brigands? Oh, come ON! Why is everyone trying to ruin your special day?
 * Chrom: Is anyone hurt?
 * Frederick: No, milord. The beach was evacuated without incident. It seems the brigands are more interested in hogging the beach. ...It IS a nice beach.
 * Chrom: Well, we can't take any chances. We'd better put these resort crashers to rout. Rally the Shepherds!
 * Merchant: ...Wow. That escalated fast. I don't think his sorcerers even had time to change out of their swimsuits. ...Oh well! They're the Shepherds. They'll put on a great show regardless of their attire. And hey, I could probably charge admission to watch this! Where's my ledger?!

Before Battle Starts

 * Chrom: This is some resort they've got here. No wonder people come here to relax. I should let the troops rest up here once the fighting is done. After all, they were kind enough to send us an invitation...
 * Merchant: ATTENTION, SHEPHERDS. THIS IS A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. *Click* *hiss* IS THIS EVEN WORKING?
 * Chrom: Ack! What giant is this that addresses me from beyond the sea?!
 * Merchant: OH... Sorry! I just lowered the volume. I'm using a Megaphone tome to talk to you long distance. It's an Anna original. Sometimes kids get lost at the resort. Their parents freak out... You know. ...And when you reply, would you please speak clearly into those seashells?
 * Chrom: These ones here? Huh. So that's what they're for... Anyway, what's this special announcement?
 * Merchant: Well, remember how I mentioned you were celebrities? The Hotrealm put it to a vote, and we picked our four favorite Shepherds!
 * Chrom: You...voted on us?
 * Merchant: Sure did! Oh, don't worry, though—you're all loved. ...Just not equally. Anyway, the four winners will receive a very special prize! For the men, the winners are... Drumroll, please... Chrom aaaaaand...Gaius! Big round of applause! And for the ladies, we have... Tharja aaaaaand...Cordelia! Aren't they just lovely? Now which of you four are here with us today? Wait right here at this winners' circle to claim your prize! By the way, today's poll was just for the elder generation. The fruits of their loins will get their shot at glory another time!
 * Chrom: Elder generation...? I think I need to sit down...
 * Merchant: Uh-oh! Hope it's not heatstroke, old-timer! You'd better drop by the winners' circle and cool down! *click* *hiss*
 * Chrom: Well, my name was called... I suppose I'll go see what this is all about.

Chrom

 * Chrom: I'm fairly certain this is the "winners circle" she mentioned... So what do I win?
 * Merchant: Oh, you made it! This is so exciting! Since you were selected as one of the world's most popular men... the Hotrealm has decided to present you this commemorative swimsuit! Go ahead—try it on! Your fans are waiting.
 * Chrom: Huh? W-wait a second! These are those smallclothes you tried to get me to wear before!
 * Merchant: They are not smallclothes! And they cost a lot of gold to make. It's not easy getting these things tailored to royal proportions. Now march that rear end of yours into the changing room!
 * Chrom: H-hey! I'm supposed to try this on? If feels like I'm trying the rest of my garments OFF. Ugh, I guess the cape needs to come off first.. And I'll just lean my sword against here... *Wriggle, jiggle* *Boink* ...Have I got this on backwards? Tell me the Brand doesn't go in the front... Ugh, this is mortifying. I can't let Avatar and the others see me like this, or I'll— Ack! Was that a draft?
 * Merchant: Chrom? Are you finished?
 * Chrom: "Finished" is probably the an apt word, yes...
 * Merchant: Okay, then. Come on out!
 * (Chrom's CG)
 * Chrom: Here, satisfied? D-do I look okay?
 * Merchant: *Whistle* Like a perfect 10! Let's just say the Brand really brings out your royal attributes.
 * Chrom: I feel like a buffoon...
 * Merchant: What are you, crazy? You're a knockout in that!
 * Chrom: Really? ...You mean it?
 * Merchant: Trust me. Now get out there and waste some brigands!
 * Chrom: What?! I can't fight like this! Tomes are one thing, but I can't stop swords and lances in just my skin!
 * Merchant: Why not? You look plenty armed and dangerous to me. The historians would have a field day!
 * Chrom: Yeah...and so would the enemy. I'm not sure which would be worse—them stabbing me or laughing at me.
 * Merchant: Heh heh. All right, all right. I suppose I'll let you off the hook. Go ahead and change back into your armor.
 * Chrom: Thank the gods... The wind kind of...tickles...when I've got this on...
 * Merchant: Thanks for dropping by, Chrom. What did you think of your swimsuit? Pretty liberating, huh?
 * Chrom: You could say that... I'll admit my armor feels almost suffocating now that I've got it back on. It's no wonder you dress like that here in the Hotrealm.
 * Merchant: In that case, why don't you buy the swimsuit? It was expensive, but I'd be willing to part with it for, say this...paltry sum?
 * Chrom: Good gods... Aren't there at least two zeros too many on that figure? Avatar would have my head if I blew through that kind of gold.
 * Merchant: Really? That's too bad. I'll leave the offer open!

Gaius

 * Gaius: Hellooo? I'm here to collect my prize?
 * Merchant: Oh! Come on in. I'm so glad you made it! Since you were selected as one of the world's most popular men...the Hotrealm has decided to present you with this commemorative swimsuit! Go on—you can get changed in here. Don't keep your fans waiting!
 * Gaius: You want me to wear this tiny piece of scrap cloth? Nice try, honey. But a thief needs to be inconspicuous.
 * Merchant: What if I throw in a box of the Hotrealm's finest confections?
 * Gaius: ...What body part would you like me to stick this on?
 * Merchant: That's the spirit! Now, into the changing room...
 * Gaius: Me an my sweet tooth... Maybe I shouldn't have been so gung ho about this. There must be laws against parading around in your skivvies outdoors. Well, let's get it over with. I can leave my headband on, I guess... *Wobble, bobble* *CRASH* Aw, son of a—I dropped my stash! Where do my legs go in this damn thing? ...Now I've just gotta hide my candy again and—oh. Crap.
 * Merchant: Gaius? Are you done changing?
 * Gaius: ...More or less.
 * Merchant: Then come on out!
 * (Gaius' CG)
 * Merchant: Wow! Hello, hunk. Those candies on your trunks just scream, "Unwrap me."
 * Gaius: Ugh...
 * Merchant: What's wrong?
 * Gaius: I guess it would be a little sticky, but if all else fails...
 * Merchant: Hello? You listening?
 * Gaius: Oh. Sorry. I was just trying to figure out where to hide my sweets. My usual outfit is full of secret pockets and what have you, but this... And let's not even talk about what salt water would do to my stash.
 * Merchant: Well, just promise you won't get too creative with your hidey holes, okay? ...Say, how come you've got that kerchief wrapped around your forearm?
 * Gaius: Huh?! Oh, uh, you know. Long story...
 * Merchant: Injuries?
 * Gaius: Something like that.
 * Merchant: Well, if you ask me, you should be more worried about hiding that baby fat. Is that a six-pack or a one-pack?
 * Gaius: Hey! It's more than you'll ever see! Like it's not embarrassing enough to wear this clown suit... Look, you got what you wanted. I'm changing back into my own duds. I expect that box of confections in one hour, or there'll be blood to pay!
 * Merchant: Hey! Take it easy there, pal... Ah well. He can pout all he wants now that I've got what I came for... Glad you stopped by, Gaius. So what did you think of your swimsuit?
 * Gaius: I hated it. I belong in my own breeches, no question. ...But thanks for the life experience, I guess.
 * Merchant: No problem. And there I thought you'd already done it all. ...Well, here's that reward I promised.
 * Gaius: Yes! Sweet, sweet candy. Come to Papa... Hey, hold on. These are you finest confections? They look pretty ordinary to me.
 * Merchant: No, sir. See those swirls? That's seaweed we harvest. It gives the candy a salty kick.... Plus it's good for you. And you won't find anything like it elsewhere. ...And you may not want to.
 * Gaius: Heh, I see. Well, as long as it sates my sweet tooth, I won't complain. So long, Red.

Cordelia

 * Cordelia: This should be the place... Beg pardon! Is anyone here?
 * Merchant: Oh! There you are, Cordelia. You look ravishing today. Since you were selected as one of the world's most popular ladies... the Hotrealms has decided to present you with this commemorative swimsuit! Step right inside, and you can try it on. Your fans would like that, I'm sure.
 * Cordelia: Fans? Ah, yes. The popularity contest of which you spoke before.
 * Merchant: Ha, sharp as a tack! Can't pull a fast one on the famous Cordelia. But Don't just do this for your fans. Do it as a treat for yourself too.
 * Cordelia: All right, then. That I shall.
 * Merchant: Great! Let's get you into the changing room then.
 * Cordelia: What a charming little garment! You even picked my favorite color. I wonder if my beloved would look my way if I wore this outside... Oh, that would send me into raptures! *Fwip, shwip* *Thwunk* Ack! This leaves far too little to the imagination... And speaking of far too little... Oh, where is my breastplate when I need it? There must be some extra stockings around here or...something...
 * Merchant: Cordelia? Is everything all right?
 * Cordelia: I've finished changing... But I'm far too mortified to set foot outside...
 * Merchant: What? But you have such a wonderful figure! Let me come inside and have a look.
 * Cordelia: What? ...No! Stay out! Pleeeeeease!
 * (Cordelia's CG)
 * Cordelia: ...Ugh! Why did you have to come in?
 * Merchant: Woah! You look amazing! What was all that groaning about being mortified? Were you worried the men's hearts would stop when they saw you? Very chivalrous, but I think you can make your debut with pride.
 * Cordelia: But my...you know...
 * Merchant: Your "you know"? Why are you holding our chest like that? Are you not feeling well? Here, let me have a look... Arms wide!
 * Cordelia: Ack! No, please don't! Please, milady—NOOOOOO!
 * Merchant: ...Ohhh.
 * Cordelia: ......
 * Merchant: I get it now. You're worried your size won't cut it with the guys, is that it?
 * Cordelia: M-must you be so direct?! *Sigh* Now everyone will know my breastplate is a sham.
 * Merchant: Now, now. Don't be upset, Cordelia. We can't all have everything, you know. It's the flaws that bring out our beauty!
 * Cordelia: *Sniff* You mean it?
 * Merchant: Of course!
 * Cordelia: Well...all right. But I'd still like to put my armor back on.
 * Merchant: Take your time. I'll be waiting outside. Thank you, Cordelia. You were a good sport.
 * Cordelia: Sorry I fell apart in there.
 * Merchant: You have nothing to apologize for. Now that we've share a secret, I feel like we're sisters. To be honest, it's a relief to see a softer side of you. A legend like you can be kind of intimidating, if you know what I mean.
 * Cordelia: Hee hee. Thanks... I feel as though I have gained a sister as well. Perhaps we can share more stories once all the fighting is done.
 * Merchant: That sounds great to me.

Tharja

 * Tharja: ...Is this the place? Where is that fool of a woman who calls her own protectors away from a battlefield?
 * Merchant: Ah! Tharja! Don't you look cheery today. Since you've been selected as one of the world's most popular ladies...the Hotrealm has decided to present you with this commemorative swimsuit! You can change in here. Don't let all those eager fans down!
 * Tharja: ...... So I just have to wear this?
 * Merchant: If you don't mind. To be honest, I half expected you to threaten to hex me.
 * Tharja: I would rather get this whole horrible wasteful experience over with.
 * Merchant: Um...okay... Well! Let's just get you into that changing room, shall we?
 * Tharja: Hrm... There's not much here to wear. No one wants to see ME in this. Unless... Yes perhaps Avatar would like it! This could be the key to winning his/her affections! *Bustle, rustle* *Sproing* Oof... It's a little tight... Is it supposed to hug my chest like this? And why is it...nngh...riding so far up my behind? Just what is this merchant up to, anyway?
 * Merchant: Tharja, are you all changed?
 * Tharja: You should know, vixen swindler. I demand answers!
 * Merchant: What's wrong? You don't like your swimsuit? Hang on. Let me take a look...
 * (Tharja's CG) (Note: Tharja's swimsuit is censored by a cloak in the American version of this game.)
 * Tharja: ...Haven't you ever heard of knocking?
 * Merchant: Sorry! It sounded like you needed help. My gosh, Tharja—most women would kill for that body.
 * Tharja: ...Thanks. So did I.
 * Merchant: Er...so what's the problem? The swimsuit looks great on you. I think I picked out the perfect design.
 * Tharja: ...Did you even bother to check my size?
 * Merchant: Uh-oh. Too tight?
 * Tharja: My uncanny valleys beg for reprieve. You bought me size too small on purpose, didn't you?
 * Merchant: I'm sorry, Tharja. I guess I got too focused on the design. And anyway, it's hard to get someone's measurements right based on hearsay. you've got a lot more, er, femininity than I'd heard.
 * Tharja: Spare me your flattery, slattern. Now I'll never win Avatar's affections! I can't even step outside.
 * Merchant: Avatar... Your tactician, right? He/She didn't quite make the swimsuit list, but he/she scored high in the polls. I'd say he's/she's even on par with you.
 * Tharja: ...What? On par? ...We have parity?! Then it's true! Some force binds us!
 * Merchant: Tharja? Slow down! You'll rip the swimsu—
 * Tharja: Aside, woman. I must change my attire at once and join my chosen one. My keen perception does not lie!
 * Merchant: Well, that was an adventure, wasn't it, Tharja?
 * Tharja: I've ventured into worse. Are we don't here?
 * Merchant: Yes. Sorry your swimsuit was too small.
 * Tharja: I will lose no sleep over your bust-binding torture device. Now if you'll excuse me...Avatar needs me.
 * (Tharja leaves)
 * Merchant: Right, um...bye? Well, she's certainly got personality. No wonder she rocked the polls.

Chrom
"It feels a bit strange to get the celebrity treatment... But I'll admit—after a long march, it's nice to be pampered. The least we can do in return is live up to the gossip and rout these fiends!"

- Chrom's pre-battle quote.

The Avatar
"This place is stunning. It hardly feels like we're in the midst of battle. Once this mess is dealt with, we should let the others take a load off. Does that sound all right to you, brigand? ...Good!"

- The Avatar's pre-battle quote.

Lissa
"As fun as it must be to have the place to yourself, you need to learn to share! I mean, why not? You might even make some new friends while you're at it! ...Not interested, huh? All right, we'll just have to do things your way."

- Lissa's pre-battle quote.

Frederick
"This beach is a disaster! Who left all these sharp rocks in the sand I must pick them all up before the others get hurt! And YOU are going to help me! ...If you're still breathing when I'm done."

- Frederick's pre-battle quote.

Sully
"What's so damn special about splashing around in some tub of salt water? If you really want to blow off steam, you should try your hand at combat. Here. I'll run you through the motions. ... Nah. I think I'll just run you through."

- Sully's pre-battle quote.

Virion
"What a magnificent vista! It's just a shame it overfloweth with brigands and not lovely ladies... Perhaps a masterful stroke from Virion can set this painting right."

- Virion's pre-battle quote.

Stahl
"I wish I lived by an ocean like this. Just think of all the fresh fish... Sautéed in butter... Filleted and breaded... *grumble, grumble* Agh, there goes my stomach again. I really need to get control of that..."

- Stahl's pre-battle quote.

Vaike
"The rumors are true, pal. The Vaike thrives in the blazin' summer sun! But too bad for you. I ain't here for fun and games. When I'm through with you, you'll be sleepin' with the fishes!"

- Vaike's pre-battle quote.

Miriel
"How utterly deplorable. Beneath this detritus of rogues and unclaimed rubbish lay a natural marvel. Clearly I must purge this panorama of its pollution posthaste."

- Miriel's pre-battle quote.

Sumia
"As a Shepherd, it's my sworn duty to defend those in need. There was a time I doubted myself—when one like you might have cowed me. Unfortunately for you, rogue, that time has passed!"

- Sumia's pre-battle quote.

Kellam
"This place looks like fun. Another kiss of death to my chances of being noticed. Who has time for pool Kellam with all these thrilling distractions? I'll probably get mistake for driftwood. Do I look like driftwood to you? Hello?"

- Kellam's pre-battle quote.

Donnel
"This big ol' stretch of sand kinda reminds me of the fields back home. I sure hope Ma and the others are holdin' their own... Maybe when this is all over, I'll take 'em out here for a li'l vacation!"

- Donnel's pre-battle quote.

Lon'qu
"...... ...... ...Damn this heat!"

- Lon'qu's pre-battle quote.

Ricken
"Why are you staring at me? Is my hat crooked? ...Oh. So it is. Thanks! You're pretty nice. Why don't we call this whole thing off? ...Hey, don't look at me like that! It was a fair question!"

- Ricken's pre-battle quote.

Maribelle
"The baseborn do know how to entertain themselves, I'll give them that... Perhaps Lissa and I could share tea and bring a little class to the place. Of course, we'll need to be rid of rabble like you first!"

- Maribelle's pre-battle quote.

Panne
"Ugh, this heat... For once, I wish I had human skin instead of fur. As soon as we're done here, I'm going to find a cool stream and...and... ..... NNgh! Almost passed out there... I must stay alert for the taguel's sake!"

- Panne's pre-battle quote.

Gaius
"Hey, if you're gonna pick a spot to plunder, you could do much worse... You've got sun, surf...all that lip-smacking fruit ripe for the plucking... ...Wait, what am I saying? I think the heat here is starting to get to me..."

- Gaius's pre-battle quote.

Cordelia
"The blue water, the rhythm of the waves... The ocean is so romantic. Or at least it would be if you rogues weren't fouling it up. You'll pay for sowing these happy sands with strife!"

- Cordelia's pre-battle quote.

Gregor
"Look at these nincompadres, having too much fun to listen to reason. OY! IS TIME TO VACATE BEACH! ...See? No listen to reason. Perhaps your friends come around after Gregor feeds you to hungry shark..."

- Gregor's pre-battle quote.

Nowi
"Why don't you people find your own playground and leave this one alone?! If there's one thing I REALLY can't stand, it's bullies! Ugh! You'd better say you're sorry now before I start bullying back!"

- Nowi's pre-battle quote.

Libra
"I take a dim view of rogues who rob others of joy to sate their own needs. But repent now and leave this place, and you may yet be forgiven. ...Very well. Then this truly shall be your last resort."

- Libra's pre-battle quote.

Tharja
"Why is everyone having so much fun...ugh, gag me...so much FUN? This "resort" nonsense will only lead to trouble. I must distract myself... You there... Prepare to be cursed in Avatar's name!"

- Tharja's pre-battle quote.

Anna
"Brigands attacking the resort? That can't be good for business... I expect full compensation for the financial harm you've caused my sister! As you're about to learn, the tenacity of a debt collector runs deep as the sea!"

- Anna's pre-battle quote.

Olivia
"If only I had a swimsuit. It's too hot to fight in this weather... Wait, what am I SAYING? That would be mortifying! Everyone would stare at me! ...Oh, the horror! Look away!"

- Olivia's pre-battle quote.

Cherche
"You poor, darling brigand. Would the other beachgoers not play with you? Minerva will join you for a swim. Won't you, my sweet? Yes, you will! ...That is, assuming she CAN swim. I'm not sure we've ever tried!"

- Cherche's pre-battle quote.

Henry
"Hey, jerk! Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not nice to hog the beach? Now I'm gonna have to chop you up and toss you into the sea. Oh, don't worry—there's plenty of hungry fish out there, nya ha!"

- Henry's pre-battle quote.

Lucina
"A land of pristine beauty, untouched by war. I've dreamed of such a place... And yet you brigands seem completely oblivious to its majesty. Disgusting. Perhaps a nice, hard strike from my blade will help open your eyes."

- Lucina's pre-battle quote.

Say'ri
"The ocean here is beautiful. It reminds me of the sea in Chon'sin. I'd head to the shore each day to try to catch the best fish I could for Yen'fay... *Sniff* I do miss him dearly. But I shan't allow any foe to witness such weakness!"

- Say'ri's pre-battle quote.

Tiki
"What a magnificent land this is. And until now, a peaceful one, I'm sure... How sad that even the pettiest of evils can transform peace into chaos. But I still believe in the future you hoped for, Mar-Mar. Its day will come..."

- Tiki's pre-battle quote.

Basilio
"You liked the beach so much that you decided to conquer it? Ah, the brashness of youth! If you withdraw now, I might let you off with only a bruise or three. No deal? This won't end happily for one of us. And by one of us, I mean you."

- Basilio's pre-battle quote.

Flavia
"Well, look at you. You actually seem like you might have some fight in you. How about abandoning this invasion and coming to Ferox to hone those skills? You'd rather keep at the beach? The summer sea truly is a force to be reckoned with..."

- Flavia's pre-battle quote.

Owain
"Blood...boiling...from this heat... Can't...control...sword hand... Flee now...brigand...or face the burning justice of...a thousand...a thousand... Argh, it's so hot I can't even remember my lines! Snap out of it, Owain!"

- Owain's pre-battle quote.

Inigo
"This blue ocean! This golden sand! Did such splendor even exist in my time? How could you troublemakers even think to taint this stunning scenery? For the beauty of sea and sky—er, and those bikini-clad ladies over there... I will stop you!"

- Inigo's pre-battle quote.

Brady
"Think you're a tough guy, huh? I'll give you three seconds to apologize! ...Hey, don't play dumb with me! I saw you stompin' on that hermit crab! Next time try picking on someone your own size, you big bully!"

- Brady's pre-battle quote.

Kjelle
"Why would you even attack a place like this? For sport? Making innocent people miserable for your own amusement is pathetic. Allow me to provide the discipline you so clearly require!"

- Kjelle's pre-battle quote.

Cynthia
"How dare you sow your terror here. I won't allow your evil on this beach! You can't just take this place and turn it into your own private playground! Hm... That does sound kinda nice. No noise, no crowds... B-but evil! Now die!"

- Cynthia's pre-battle quote.

Severa
"Oh, look at that seashell! Maybe I could make it into a soap dish for Mother... Y-you heard that?! I...I'm not some mama's girl! She needed a new soap dish, and, uh... Don't you dare say a word about this! Actually...I'll just make sure you don't."

- Severa's pre-battle quote.

Gerome
"This heat is unbearable. I can't think straight, and I'm sweating like a— ...ARGH! Sweat in my eyes! And I can't get to it because of this damn mask! *Sigh* If you wish to flee, brigand, now's your chance!"

- Gerome's pre-battle quote.

Morgan
"Hey, how about you halt your attack and leave these poor people alone? What would your mother say if she knew you were assaulting a beach resort?! ...Hrm. Note to self: emotional appeals appear ineffective against brigands..."

- Morgan's pre-battle quote.

Yarne
"H-hey, d-don't come any closer! I'm casting off heat like a campfire! Look at me! The sun is scorching, and I'm covered in fur. It's NOT pleasant! J-just stay away! If I get any hotter, I could combust and kill us both!"

- Yarne's pre-battle quote.

Laurent
"Aren't you worried about sunstroke, running about like that in this heat? When the sun's rays intensify like this, a wide-brimmed hat is ideal. Hm? You'll just kill me and take mine? B-but this belonged to my mother!"

- Laurent's pre-battle quote.

Noire
"BWAH HA HA! THE SEA AND THE SKY HERE ARE DIVINE! YOU, BRIGAND! JOIN ME IN CRAFTING THE FINEST SAND CASTLE EVER BUILT! ...Uh, hello? You gonna help or not? Fine... I guess we'll just fight instead..."

- Noire's pre-battle quote.

Nah
"You should be ashamed for attacking a peaceful place like this. All these people wanted was to be able to relax and have some fun! We never had that kind of luxury...which is why I can't let you ruin this for them!"

- Nah's pre-battle quote.

Gangrel
"You dolts know who you're pointing those blades at? Sheathe 'em and go home. Or do you really wanna die on a beach? Is that the epic end you've always dreamed of? Well, if you insist... Let's give those seagulls and sand crabs the feat of a lifetime!"

- Gangrel's pre-battle quote.

Walhart
"Great men use strength to better all; good men, to protect what they love. But you squander yours in some craven's jape. You're beneath contempt! Withdraw now, or I'll be forced to sully my weapon with your worthless blood!"

- Walhart's pre-battle quote.

Emmeryn
"The ocean... is so blue... so beautiful... I want to... come back here... with... Chrom and... Lissa... But first... we must bring... peace to the world..."

- Emmeryn's pre-battle quote.

Yen'fay
"You stand before the mighty Yen'fay and yet you do not withdraw? Either you're skilled enough to be confident or two green to realize you're outmatched. Looking at you, I suspect it's the latter... but I shall have my answer soon enough!"

- Yen'fay's pre-battle quote.

Aversa
"The heat here is intense. Maybe I'll just discard a layer or two of clothing... What's this? You were hoping to watch? Maybe if you can defeat me, hotshot. Then again, you're out to conquer a beach? I'd prefer a man with... loftier aspirations."

- Aversa's pre-battle quote.

Priam
"When I heard you laid siege to this land, I was prepared for an immense battle... Then I found out it was just a beach. And you were just... well, you. Let's just say I regret having prepared so thoroughly... I suppose I can only pray that you're far mightier than you appear to be."

- Priam's pre-battle quote.

W/ The Avatar (Male)

 * Avatar: The Outrealms' hottest resort, huh? I don't doubt it. This place is amazing! We could have so much fun out here. Swimming, collecting seashells...
 * Chrom: It's true we don't get very many chances to relax in our own world.
 * Avatar: Ack! Chrom?! You heard all of that?
 * Chrom: If you're going to talk to yourself so loudly, I'd suggest moving farther down the beach.
 * Avatar: I'm sorry. I shouldn't be daydreaming like that in the middle of battle.
 * Chrom: Not at all. Everyone needs to unwind now and again. You should enjoy yourself. I've seen how tense you tend to become in the heat of battle, Avatar... If this isn't the place to let your hair down a little, I don't know where is.
 * Avatar: Is that an order? Because if it is, I'm not complaining! Seriously, though, I've never been anywhere this beautiful before. It's so relaxing... Or perhaps I've been here hundreds of times and I just don't remember...
 * Chrom: Avatar...
 * Avatar: Sorry. Didn't mean to get all somber on you there. If my commander's ordered me to let my hair down, who am I to argue? I've spotted an interesting creature when I passed by that tide pool over there... I'm going back for a closer look!
 * (Avatar leaves)
 * Chrom: Heh. I don't think I've ever seen Avatar so excited. This place is everything it's cracked up to be. I owe it to him to help him enjoy it as much as he can while we're here. I only wish I knew how to go about it... Should I spoil him like Frederick does me? Maybe I'll help him gather seashells. ...... Or maybe not. I feel ridiculous. I'll think of something...
 * (Avatar returns)
 * Avatar: Chrom, check it out! I caught that weird creature! Isn't this thing bizarre? I wonder if we could put it to any tactical use...
 * Chrom:......
 * Avatar: What's wrong, Chrom? Don't you like it? I know it's not the cutest critter, but it's kinda cute in its own way!
 * Chrom: Hmm? No, no, it's fine. I was just distracted, sorry. Don't worry about me. Go frolic with your weird little friend to your heart's content.
 * Avatar: Well when you put it that way...

W/ The Avatar (Female) (married version)

 * Avatar: The Outrealms' hottest resort, huh? I don't doubt it. This place is amazing! If only Chrom and I could have this beach to ourselves—what fun we could have! We could swim, and collect seashells, and chase each other through the surf...
 * Chrom: It's true we don't get very many chances to relax in our own world.
 * Avatar: Ack! Chrom?! You heard all of that?
 * Chrom: If you're going to talk to yourself so loudly, I'd suggest moving farther down the beach.
 * Avatar: I'm sorry. I shouldn't be daydreaming like that in the middle of battle.
 * Chrom: Not at all. Everyone needs to unwind now and again. You should enjoy yourself. I've seen how tense you tend to become in the heat of battle, Avatar... If this isn't the place to let your hair down a little, I don't know where is. And I admit, the thought of being alone here with you has crossed my mind as well...
 * Avatar: Oh, Chrom... I'm so glad you feel the same way. I've never been anywhere this beautiful before. It's so relaxing... Or perhaps I've been here hundreds of times and I just don't remember...
 * Chrom: Avatar...
 * Avatar: Sorry. Didn't mean to get all somber on you there. If my commander's ordered me to let my hair down, who am I to argue? Of course, it wouldn't do to monopolize the army's leader during a battle... I promise I'll be quick! I'm just going to poke around in that tide pool over there...
 * (Avatar leaves)
 * Chrom: Heh. I don't think I've ever seen Avatar so excited. This place really is everything it's cracked up to be. I owe it to her to help her enjoy it as much as she can while we're here. I only wish I knew how to go about it... Should I spoil her like Frederick does me? Maybe I'll help her gather seashells. ...... Or maybe not. I feel ridiculous. I'll think of something...
 * (Avatar returns)
 * Avatar: Chrom, check it out! I caught this weird creature! Isn't this thing just bizarre? I wonder if we could put it to any tactical use...
 * Chrom:......
 * Avatar: What's wrong, Chrom? Don't you like it? I know it's not the cutest critter, but it's kinda cute in its own way!
 * Chrom: Hmm? No, no, it's fine. I was just distracted, sorry. Don't worry about me. Go frolic with your weird little friend to your heart's content.
 * Avatar: Well when you put it that way...

W/ Sumia

 * Lissa: Wow! Look at that ocean, Sumia! We have GOT to go swimming!
 * Sumia: Absolutely not, Lissa. We didn't come here to have a good time.
 * Lissa: Aw, but look at this place! Blue sky, golden sand, and alllll that beautiful water! It's so pretty, twinkling in the sun. How can we NOT go splash around in it?
 * Sumia: Lissa, please. We're Shepherds. Proud warriors serving in Chrom's army—
 * Lissa: Uh-huh. So why do you have YOUR swimsuit then? Hm? ...HMM? Don't try to hide it! I see it peeking out of your bag there.
 * Sumia: M-my swimsuit?! I don't know what you're— Ohh, you mean THIS?! Uh... It's...not a swimsuit. It's, um...my aquatic battle outfit! For...combat in water! I bought it as soon as I realized we might have to fight on the seashore. When you're doing battle in the waves, you need complete freedom of movement!
 * Lissa: I don't see how wearing a swimsuit under armor helps with that at all...
 * Sumia: Well...y-you wouldn't! Because...it's actually really complicated. Yeah, I barely understand it myself! Ha ha.
 * Lissa: But didn't the merchant explain? You sure did spend a long time talking to her. From where I was, it looked like you got her to show you every style she had. You compared cuts and colors and patterns almost like you cared how they looked... But why would you, if you're only gonna be wearing the suit during battle?
 * Sumia: Er, right... Good question! I can totally explain that. Definitely. You see...er... I thought, if I'm buying one ANYWAY, I might as well get something flattering. I mean, have you ever seen swi—er, aquatic battle suits like this back in our world...? ...Oh, all right, FINE! I admit it! I was excited about swimming in the ocean too. Okay? This isn't an aquatic battle suit at all... I'm sorry I lied to you, Lissa.
 * Lissa: Oh, you don't have to apologize. I totally understand! Soooo...seeing as how we DID buy these suits...we probably SHOULD try them out... Even soldiers deserve a break sometimes, right?
 * Sumia: Well, twist my arm, why don't you...? Hee hee! Okay, it's a date! But first, let's finish cleaning up this mess here on the beach!

W/ Lon'qu

 * Lon'qu: ...Virion.
 * Virion: Why, if it isn't Lon'qu! What a pleasant surprise. And how may I be of service?
 * Lon'qu: You're a skilled archer, are you not? I need to make use of your arm.
 * Virion: How could I refuse such eloquent praise? I would be delighted to assist you! But what, pray tell, do you require of me?
 * Lon'qu: I want you to fire arrows at me.
 * Virion: Er...my! And why, may I ask, would you make such a rash and reckless request?
 * Lon'qu: They don't need to be real arrows. Practice arrows will do fine. This sand makes it hard to move. I need to hone my evasive maneuvers.
 * Virion: Ahh, so this is the method behind your seeming madness? Your diligence, as ever, impresses me deeply. I hold such ambition and determination as yours in high regard indeed! Even a nobleman such as I may learn from your example.
 * Lon'qu: ...So you'll do it?
 * Virion: Hmm...
 * Lon'qu: Delighted to assist me, was it?
 * Virion: Ah ha ha! Well, of course I am! But please indulge me for a moment first. Pray, look around you—note the sun's rays beating on the sand, the crashing waves... I long to cavort gaily amidst such beauty! ...In a noble and refined fashion, of course. And yet you would have me participate in a crude display of machismo instead? I cannot help but fear this might cause distress to the many fair maidens present...
 * Lon'qu: Funny you should mention that. I heard some of the local women talking earlier. They were saying how impressive you look when you fire that bow of yours.
 * Virion: *Ahem* So! Tell me, Lon'qu, where exactly would you like me to aim?
 * Lon'qu: ......

W/ Gaius

 * Virion: *Slurp* Ah, nothing quite stirs the soul like a fine cup of tea on the battlefield.
 * Gaius: Crivens, Virion, are you seriously drinking tea in the middle of a fight? What's wrong with you?
 * Virion: Ah, hello, Gaius. Even in the throes of a battle, one mustn't neglect life's essential pleasures. Though I regret to note that on this occasion, my pleasure is incomplete. Why, you ask? Because I lack a suitable confection to accompany this excellent infusion!
 * Gaius: Yeah? Well, boohoo for you, I guess. This isn't the time nor the place. Now if you're done waving your pinky in the air, how about getting back into formation?
 * Virion: Why, from whence comes this unseemly haste? I simply must have my sweet, sir. And I believe that you are the very man to provide it. Bring hither a cake!
 * Gaius: Are you serious? I think you've confused me with your kitchen boy, fancy man.
 * Virion: Come now. The entire army knows your pockets are ever abrim with delights!
 * Gaius: And what if they are? Maybe you missed this the first time: we're in a BATTLE. I don't have time to stand around serving you cakes out of my secret stash. And even if I did—I wouldn't. Sweets as good as mine don't come cheap!
 * Virion: ...Oh? So you're saying your cakes are of an exceedingly fine quality?
 * Gaius: You bet your arched eyebrows they are. I've got agents all over, buying up only the very best of the best sweets. It took a lot of hard work to build up those contacts and figure out all the logistics. Not that a pampered noble like you would understand the meaning of hard work...
 * Virion: Hah! Fair enough. But hmm... How much would it take, I wonder...
 * (Gaius leaves)
 * Virion: *Gasp* Where are you going?! Gaius, wait! Come back here! I haven't told you my offer! *Sigh* And with that, he was gone, depriving poor Virion of his just deserts...

W/ Chrom

 * Stahl: Phew. Well, this area's clear.
 * Chrom: Good work, Stahl. It's nice to know we can always count on you.
 * Stahl: Just trying to do my part! Against the weaker foes, at least...
 * Chrom: Don't sell yourself short, Stahl. You've become one of our most reliable soldiers. I often call you our bastion in stormy seas, you know. The others agree.
 * Stahl: R-realy?! I-I'm not used to such praise. You're making me blush! Still, I'm glad you find me useful. I do try to serve as best I can...
 * Chrom: You really need to stop being so modest. Your results speak for themselves.
 * Stahl: Wow, Chrom, to hear you say that is hugely encouraging. Inspiring, even! From this day on, I solemnly swear to redouble my efforts. I won't rest until I'm the mightiest knight in the halidom!
 * Chrom: That's the spirit! I'll be following your progress closely. And I have every confidence you'll succeed, Stahl.
 * Stahl: ...Y-you do? And you'll be following my progress...personally? *Gulp* I...I'm honored that you would place so much faith in me! Honored...and perhaps a little daunted... (S-so...much...pressure...)
 * Chrom: Stahl, are you all right? You're suddenly covered in sweat and trembling like a leaf.
 * Stahl: Wh-who, me? No, I'm f-f-fine! J-just my n-n-normal reliable s-self... *Gasp* G-GOTTA GO! B-BYE!
 * (Stahl leaves)
 * Chrom: ...What's gotten into him?

W/ Vaike

 * Vaike: Ain't over there... And it sure ain't over here... Did it get swept out to sea...? Nah, it couldn't have—I had it when I sliced that brigand! Man, this is drivin' me nuts... Did it get buried in the sand? Like, so covered I can't even see it? I know you're somewhere on this beach, baby! The Vaike'll find ya somehow! Man, Teach ain't got time to waste... Time to break out the ol' Clearcutter!
 * Stahl: Vaike, there's a battle going on! What are you doing over here?
 * Vaike: I lost my better half! She's gotta be buried here somewhere...
 * Stahl: Oh? You lost your axe again, huh? Did you try looking—
 * Vaike: Quiet! The Vaike can handle this! Just gotta get rid of this sand with the Clearcutter...
 * Stahl: Clearcutter... That's one of your special moves, right? And how does it go again?
 * Vaike: Huh? Well, I just grip the ol' axe low, like this, and start a-spinnin'!
 * Stahl: You grip your axe, huh? And what was it you were looking for again?
 * Vaike: You take a blow to the head, Stahl? I just told you! My beloved— ...Oh.
 * Stahl: You've been holding it the entire time.
 * Vaike: I have, huh... Uh, I mean—whoa! Where'd ya come from, baby?
 * Stahl: I just told you, you were holding it the entir—
 * Vaike: Then why in the seven hells didn't ya say so in the first place?
 * Stahl: I didn't think I needed to! It was right there in your hand!
 * Vaike: You don't get it, huh? This axe is like a part of the Vaike! How's a guy supposed to notice somethin' that's always there? I mean, I bet you never just up and think, "Whoa, here are my arms!"
 * Stahl: Uh...no. No, I don't... But I think I get what you're saying. Sometimes my weapon feels like a part of me too...
 * Vaike: It does, huh? Then how come you ain't holding it?
 * Stahl: Huh? It's right— Hey! My lance!
 * Vaike: See? I bet it's buried in the sand somewhere! Hah!

W/ Frederick

 * Vaike: Aw, man, is this great or what? Clear water, blue skies, white sand... Time to finish cleanin' up this mess so we can get to havin' fun!
 * Frederick: Do not allow yourself to be distracted, Vaike. The battle is not won yet. A single moment's lost concentration is all it takes for a soldier to lose his life.
 * Vaike: You think ol' Teach don't know that? Relax already! Nobody's sayin' we should up and throw a clambake or anything! Would it kill ya to loosen your codpiece and enjoy life a little?
 * Frederick: It very well might. I remind you again—we are in the midst of battle.
 * Vaike: At ease, Commander Killjoy! Ya gotta learn to lighten up! Just 'cause ya dress like a tin can don't mean ya gotta be as stiff as one. Heck, maybe that's the problem right now—it's like a million degrees out! You should try bein' like Teach here. Lose the armor, and get some air!
 * Frederick: You presume to know the discomfort of armor? You who wear almost none?
 * Vaike: Hey, just 'cause I don't know what it feels like in there don't mean I ain't right! Bah, I'm done listenin' to you anyhow. All the Vaike hears is the sweet call of the sea!
 * Frederick: ......
 * Vaike: What's with the grimace? You gettin' constipated or somethin'?
 * Frederick: Very well. If this is how it must be...
 * Vaike: Finally comin' around to Teach's way of thinkin', huh? All right! Let's get ya outta—
 * Frederick: Unhand me and stand to attention, soldier!
 * Vaike: Huh? What's with you all of a sudden? Did all that sun finally get to ya?
 * Frederick: Your slovenly soldiering will disgrace this army no longer! You will learn the focus and resolve of a warrior, or you will die trying! The road to discipline begins here!
 * Vaike: You gotta be kiddin' me...

W/ Ricken

 * Vaike: Cripes, this heat is stiflin'... Makes ya wanna hop right in the drink, don't it?
 * Ricken: Uh-huh... Sure...
 * Vaike: Hey, are you even listenin'? ...Wait, yer readin' a book? Here?!
 * Ricken: I've got a lot of studying to do! I can't afford to fall behind.
 * Vaike: Lemme tell ya, kid—readin' books ain't gonna cause no sudden growth spurts.
 * Ricken: Huh? What's that got to do with anything? Reading won't stunt my growth, either!
 * Vaike: Yeah, maybe not. But you could be usin' that time to pump iron!
 * Ricken: And I could be using THIS time to study! Would you just let me study in peace?
 * Vaike: Fine, but don't come cryin' to me when your brain boils over!
 * Ricken: Fortunately, my head's not filled with soup like yours.
 * Vaike: Hey! I just happen to like soup!
 * Ricken: *Sigh* But I do know what you mean... I know I won't get to be like Chrom just by reading books all the time. Books won't make me as strong or as handsome or as kind...
 * Vaike: It's always Chrom, Chrom, Chrom with you, ain't it? Don't you have any love for the Vaike?
 * Ricken: Huh? Well, I mean...you're pretty buff, I guess? That's kinda admirable...
 * Vaike: Gee, thanks, kid. I'm touched. But all right, let's see... If ya wanna get stronger, why don't ya try lifting that big ol' book while you read it? You can work your arms while ya work your brain—two birds, one stone!
 * Ricken: That's actually not a bad idea...especially coming from you!
 * Vaike: See? Maybe Teach's head ain't so full of soup, after all! ...Wait, whaddya mean especially comin' from me?!
 * Ricken: Heh heh. I'm just messing around. Come on, why don't we both give it a try?
 * Vaike: ...All right. Gimme one of them fancy books of yours. Somethin' heavy. Maybe Teach can learn a thing or two while he's doin' reps!
 * Ricken: Sure! We can both try to make up for our respective shortcomings. I'll work on improving my strength...and you can focus on fixing your mental deficiencies!
 * Vaike: Sounds like a pl—HEEEY, wait a minute!

W/ Sumia

 * Miriel: ...... ...... ......
 * Sumia: Er... Miriel?
 * Miriel: I am quite well, thank you.
 * Sumia: O-oh, really? That's good to hear. ...But what I was actually going to ask is: Why are you staring at me like that?
 * Miriel: I would prefer if you refrained from addressing my directly. It is imperative that you pretend I'm not here, or the results will be compromised.
 * Sumia: The results? What results?
 * Miriel: The results of my observations, of course.
 * Sumia: Observations...? Er, what observations?
 * Miriel: I'm trying to determine if you are a simple clod, or if your clumsiness is in fact an act. Dissimulation intended to elicit attention and sympathy from male colleagues.
 * Sumia: What?! You think I PRETEND to fall over just for the attention? That is so unfair! I'm a little clumsy sometimes, but never on purpose, and never EVER to attract men!
 * Miriel: You seem defensive, but I mean you no offense. I find it admirable that you can turn an apparent failing to your advantage.
 * Sumia: B-but I don't! I'm not that kind of person!
 * Miriel: Fascinating. You seem sincere. Perhaps the behavior is induced subconsciously. Could this be evidence of a naturally occurring reproductive strategy? It's hardly difficult to deduce how such a solution would self-perpetuate. Displays of helplessness serve to attract males of a protective predisposition. This in turn increases the likelihood of infant survival... It's really quite simple.
 * Sumia: Um...what?
 * Miriel: Please continue. Pay me no mind. I must see your charms in action.
 * Sumia: All right, Miriel, that's enough! I don't LIKE being a klutz, okay? I hate it!
 * Miriel: Good, good! The quivering lip, the tearful eyes... These are powerful signals. Males of the requisite predisposition will begin to congregate around you shortly.
 * Sumia: GAH! Miriel! You can be SUCH a— Whoooa-AAARGH!
 * (Sumia falls)
 * Miriel: Sumia?
 * Sumia: Now look what you made me do! I'm absolutely COVERED in sand.
 * Miriel: Truly fascinating...

W/ Maribelle

 * Maribelle: Oh my... This heat is absolutely, unutterably unbearable! What have I done to the gods to deserve such unjust punishment? Do they mean to blemish my perfect, porcelain skin with this scorching sun? Or do they think my darling, dainty parasol enough to fend off these ravaging rays? And to add insult to injury, I must watch these fools frolic in the sand like children? The heat has clearly melted away what little reason they had in the first place... Wouldn't you agree, Miriel?
 * Miriel: ......
 * Maribelle: *Sigh* Deep in study again, aren't you? I must say I admire your strength of will, maintaining focus in this infernal heat... Or have you cast some sort of spell to keep yourself cool?
 * Miriel: No such spell exists. I simply cannot squander the opportunity to study this behavior in the field.
 * Maribelle: And what behavior might that be?
 * Miriel: The loss of human inhibition in response to intense sunlight. It truly is an intriguing phenomenon.
 * Maribelle: Well, it certainly has me baffled...
 * Miriel: Clearly, participant observation is the logical next step. Only experimental evidence can provide the further insight I need.
 * Maribelle: Are you saying you're going to gather data by playing on the beach? *Sigh* A brain the size of a planet, and even you can't help acting like a simpleton... Well, at least we have some evidence that you may be human after all...
 * Miriel: I shall begin by cavorting with the brigands encamped along the beach here.
 * (Miriel leaves)
 * Maribelle: You'll what?! Miriel, wait! It isn't safe! Get back here!

W/ Frederick

 * Frederick: Hello, Kellam.
 * Kellam: Y-you noticed me standing here? I guess nothing gets by the great Frederick, huh?
 * Frederick: What are you talking about? You were standing in plain sight.
 * Kellam: Well, as you probably know by now, I tend to...lack a strong presence. So, uh...thanks.
 * Frederick: It isn't you who should be thanking me, Kellam. Your presence is always felt. And more than that, it is greatly valued. I cannot count the number of times you have come to my aid in battle.
 * Kellam: Wow... It means a lot to me to hear you say that.
 * Frederick: I only wish that others among our number were as reliable as you. And as vigilant...
 * Kellam: Why, has something happened?
 * Frederick: Local miscreants have been spotted near camp. I fear they are poised to take advantage of the distraction caused by the brigands. It is up to the likes of you and I to remain wary and ever vigilant.
 * Kellam: Well, you can count on me!
 * (Kellam leaves)
 * Soldier: Forgive the interruption, sir! There's been an incident...
 * Frederick: What manner of incident?
 * Soldier: A burglary, sir! ...All of our swimsuits have been stolen!
 * Frederick: Damn them. It's just as I suspected... Cowards and opportunists!
 * Kellam: The miscreants you mentioned?
 * Frederick: It would seem so. Men, lead me to the crime scene.
 * (Frederick leaves)
 * Kellam: Wait. I'm coming too!

W/ Virion

 * Donnel: ......
 * Virion: I am warm enough without the heat of your gaze, Donnel. Can I help you?
 * Donnel: No, sir! I was just admirin' yer noble fanciness, is all. Reckon there ain't nobody dresses as nice, nor walks and talks quite the way ya do. I'm awful sorry for gapin', but we don't see so many folks like you back where I'm from.
 * Virion: Ah! Of course I understand, Donnel. Your reaction is entirely natural. I was born into nobility and raised to take pride in my breeding. One might even say that I am the perfect gentleman! So I daresay! I cut a rather awe-inspiring figure to the likes of your good self...
 * Donnel: Wow, you're as confident as a bull in rut! I sure do wish I could be just like ya!
 * Virion: Do you indeed? Then I suspect you do not know the true burden of high birth.
 * Donnel: Ya don't say?
 * Virion: I do. While it is proper for you to envy your betters, you're seeing only the surface. Yes, it is true we nobles live in a world of splendor and majesty... We dress in the finest of clothes... We cavort with the finest of maidens... We feast upon the finest of delicacies! And all with the utmost ease and grace. I imagine a commoner like yourself often dreams of such a seemingly charmed life.
 * Donnel: You bet yer right arm I do!
 * Virion: Ahh, dear, simple Donnel... Would that my life were as carefree as you imagine it. But alas, no. When next we speak, I shall tell you the other side of this sad tale...
 * Donnel: Well, shoot, I don't rightly know what yer talkin' about, but sure! Much obliged!

W/ Gregor

 * Donnel: *Siiigh*
 * Gregor: Oy, what is meaning of deep sigh, little farming friend?
 * Donnel: Oh, howdy, Gregor. I was just ponderin' stuff, is all. Seein' this pretty ocean got me to thinkin'...
 * Gregor: Such melancholy is not usual behavior for you, yes? Come, share thoughts with Gregor. Soon we will be kissing sadness good-bye!
 * Donnel: That's awful kind of ya, but...well, okay. I s'pose I can chat to ya for a bit. The thing is, I'm wonderin', Gregor... What do ya think about war?
 * Gregor: War? Hmm, is quite tall philosophical question... Why are you asking?
 * Donnel: Well, the thing is, I pretty much hate it. War done killed my pa, and the folks in my village are strugglin' just to survive... And they ain't the only ones, neither. People all over the world are sufferin'.
 * Gregor: Yes, is very sad truth, unfortunately...
 * Donnel: But at the same time, I been meetin' all kinds'a fine folks durin' this campaign... Roamin' the world, goin' on adventures... Doin' lotsa stuff I never done before...
 * Gregor: Indeed. Gregor is feeling same way.
 * Donnel: It's the chance of a lifetime is what it is, but it only came my way 'cause of the war. So it's got me wonderin': Should I be thankin' the war instead'a cursin' it?
 * Gregor: Hmm. Is difficult question you are posing... Gregor will need some time to consider.
 * Donnel: Sure. I ain't in no hurry. What say we both chew it over for a spell?

W/ Libra

 * Lon'qu: Libra. There you are.
 * Libra: Good day, Lon'qu. Can I help you with something?
 * Lon'qu: Drop the pretense—I want the same thing as you. Come and fight me!
 * Libra: What?! Where is this coming from?
 * Lon'qu: I've been watching you for some time. You style yourself a peace-loving man of the cloth. But your love of battle is as plain as the nose on your face. I know you lust for greater strength, just as I do!
 * Libra: Is this really what you see in me?
 * Lon'qu: Stop this foolish charade and draw your weapon. You can cover yourself in all the white robes and piety you like. It won't hide the bloodlust in your eyes!
 * Libra: I'm sorry, Lon'qu, but I decline.
 * Lon'qu: What?! Why? Do you not think me a worthy rival? Am I not capable of challenging you?
 * Libra: Quite the opposite. I fear you may have overestimated me. I'm no power-hungry lover of war. I am a servant of the gods. I fight to protect mankind, and nothing else.
 * Lon'qu: Truly?
 * Libra: Truly. I'm honored that you consider me a warrior worthy of challenging. But I'm afraid I have no interest in dueling. Now, if you'll excuse me...
 * (Libra leaves)
 * Lon'qu: ......

W/ Chrom

 * Ricken: Hey, Chrom! Wait up!
 * Chrom: What is it, Ricken?
 * Ricken: You've got sand on your shoulder guard. Here, let me brush it off.
 * Chrom: Oh, I see. Thank you, Ricken. All done?
 * Ricken: Yep, just like new! Say, can I see your sword?
 * Chrom: All right, but just for a second. I'm kind of using it at the moment.
 * Ricken: ...I knew it. See here? That's rust. Let me give it a quick polish...
 * Chrom: Look, Ricken, I'm very grateful, but this isn't exactly the best timing... In any case, why the sudden concern? What's this about?
 * Ricken: Well, you know how I look up to you and want to be like you when I get older, right? I figure if I help you out with odd jobs here and there, we might end up forming a bond! And the closer we get, the better I can understand what it takes to be like you.
 * Chrom: Er, I see... But, Ricken, I'm not sure brushing sand off me in the midst of battle is the best way—
 * Ricken: Oh, but it totally IS! And I'll prove it! I'm going to keep it up, no matter what!
 * Chrom: *Sigh* If you insist. But can I at least have my sword back?
 * Ricken: Oh, right. Here you go. Now let's go fight! And don't you worry about sand anymore!

W/ Sumia

 * Maribelle: Strange. I can't shake the uncomfortable feeling that someone is staring at me. Perhaps here on this golden sand, I've caught the eye of a hot-blooded gallant... The sun beats down mercilessly, yet it pales in comparison to the heat of his gaze. Hee hee! Oh, Maribelle, you've still got the power to inflame men's passions... Hmm? What was that? I could've sworn I heard a soft clunk.
 * Sumia: Oww! Stupid coconut...
 * Maribelle: Sumia?! Dear girl, what in the world are you doing behind that palm tree? ...Is that a notebook in your hand? Whatever are you writing?
 * Sumia: Writing? Me? Er, I wasn't writing, exactly... Just taking some notes, that's all...
 * Maribelle: So it was YOU who was staring at me so intently?! All right, what's this about? Come now, girl. Out with it!
 * Sumia: Well, er...I'm not sure if you ever noticed, but...I'm kind of a klutz.
 * Maribelle: Noticed? I'm quite certain every single person in this army has noticed.
 * Sumia: Right... So...I'm trying to be more useful to people. To not get in their way all the time. In short, I'm trying to be more like you. You're always so calm and poised, and ever so graceful... I thought I could observe you and, you know, maybe pick up a few pointers.
 * Maribelle: I see! That's most admirable, Sumia. Self-improvement should never be discouraged. And yet I wonder at your decidedly ambitious choice of role model... Might it not be a bit more practical to set yourself a more...attainable goal?
 * Sumia: Oh, I know I'll never reach your level. But I want to learn from the best!
 * Maribelle: *Ahem* Indeed. You are wiser than you appear... Very well, I shall instruct you in the ways of the noblewoman. Lesson one: poise! A noblewoman never allows herself to become flustered.
 * Sumia: W-wait! I don't have my pen ready! Argh! And I dropped my notebook in the sand! Okay, okay, just a sec. "Flustered = bad." ...Oh, gods! How do you spell that again?! Is it with an "f" or a "ph"? Ugh, I'm falling behind! This is no good! Somebody HELP! *Huff, huff*
 * Maribelle: *Sigh* Let's forget poise for now and move on to lesson two, shall we? Attire. Attire is extremely important. A lady must always be impeccably dressed.
 * Sumia: Right... *scribble, scribble*
 * Maribelle: Those two are the basics I'd say. The foundations upon which the edifice of noblewomanhood is built.
 * Sumia: Great! I think I can remember all that! Poise and clothes! No problem!
 * Maribelle: But, dear, I've hardly begun! There's so much more you need to—
 * Sumia: Thanks for the help, Maribelle! I don't care what anyone says—you're the greatest!
 * (Sumia leaves)
 * Maribelle: Good gods, did she just run off? Whatever could've possessed her? And why am I certain she's entirely misinterpreted my teachings...?

W/ The Avatar (Male)

 * Gaius: Oh ho! This spirally blue shell oughta sell for a nice stack of coin.
 * Avatar: Gaius!
 * Gaius: Oh, hey there, Bubbles. What's with the shouting?
 * Avatar: D-didn't a huge volley of arrows just fall on this exact spot?
 * Gaius: Oh yeah, a whole bunch of 'em. But I'm fine. They all missed.
 * Avatar: They all missed, huh? And you're not afraid the same thing might happen again? Come on, you need to get out of here!
 * Gaius: Sorry, but not a good time. You wouldn't believe the treasure that's just lying here! Look at these shells! I can't just leave 'em—they've got to be worth some serious cash!
 * Avatar: Seashells? What, you're going to sell them and use the money to buy candy?
 * Gaius: Well, something like that, sure.
 * Avatar: Gaius! Look out!
 * Gaius: Much obliged, Bubbles. You pushed me outta the way just in time.
 * Avatar: "Much obliged"?! That arrow could have killed you! For the love of the gods, stop collecting seashells and take this battle seriously!
 * Gaius: What, you're saying I'm not taking my fighting seriously now?
 * Avatar: If by "now" you mean you were almost perforated while gathering shells, then yes!
 * Gaius: Pah, you were distracting me. I'm here keeping an eye on enemy movements.
 * Avatar: You've got to be kidding! You're blaming ME for distracting YOU?!
 * Gaius: I didn't say that, exactly. You gotta stop reading so much into everything.
 * Avatar: What?! That's exactly what you said! Hmph! Fine, do whatever you want. Sorry if my trying to save your life cut into your precious seashell-gathering time! You can jump into the ocean and...and go pearl diving for all I care!
 * (Avatar leaves)
 * Gaius: Huh. He didn't seem to happy about that. That pearl-diving bit was pretty weak too. Should a stormed away a line earlier...

W/ The Avatar (Female) (normal version)

 * Gaius: Oh ho! This spirally blue shell oughta sell for a nice stack of coin.
 * Avatar: Gaius!
 * Gaius: Oh, hey there, Bubbles. What's with the shouting?
 * Avatar: D-didn't a huge volley of arrows just fall on this exact spot?
 * Gaius: Oh yeah, a whole bunch of 'em. But I'm fine. They all missed.
 * Avatar: They all missed, huh? And you're not afraid the same thing might happen again? Come on, you need to get out of here!
 * Gaius: Sorry, but not a good time. You wouldn't believe the treasure that's just lying here! Look at all these shells! I can't just leave 'em—they've got to be worth some serious cash!
 * Avatar: Seashells? What, you're going to sell them and use the money to buy candy?
 * Gaius: Well, something like that, sure.
 * Avatar: Gaius! Look out!
 * Gaius: Much obliged, Bubbles. You pushed me outta the way just in time.
 * Avatar: "Much obliged"?! That arrow could have killed you! For the love of gods, stop collecting seashells and take this battle seriously!
 * Gaius: What, you're saying I'm not taking my fighting seriously now?
 * Avatar: If by "now" you mean when you were almost perforated while gathering shells, then yes!
 * Gaius: Pah, you were distracting me. I'm here keeping an eye on enemy movements.
 * Avatar: You've got to be kidding! You're blaming ME for distracting YOU?
 * Gaius: I didn't say that, exactly. You gotta stop reading so much into everything.
 * Avatar: What?! That's exactly what you said! Hmph! Fine, do whatever you want. Sorry if my trying to save your life cut into your precious seashell-gathering time! You can jump into the ocean and...and go pearl diving for all I care!
 * (Avatar leaves)
 * Gaius: Huh. She didn't seem too happy about that. That pearl-diving bit was pretty weak too. Shoulda stormed away a line earlier...

W/ The Avatar (Female) (married version)

 * Gaius: Oh ho! This spirally blue shell oughta sell for a nice stack of coin! And this one... That color'd really bring out Bubbles's eyes...
 * Avatar: Gaius!
 * Gaius: Oh, hey there, baby. What's with the shouting? You just that excited to see me?
 * Avatar: What are you talking about? Didn't a huge volley of arrows just fall on this exact spot?
 * Gaius: Oh yeah, a whole bunch of 'em. But I'm fine. They all missed.
 * Avatar: They all missed, huh? And you're not afraid the same thing might happen again? Come on, you need to get out of here!
 * Gaius: Sorry, but not a good time. You wouldn't believe the treasure that's just lying here! Look at these shells! I can't just leave 'em—they've got to be worth some serious cash!
 * Avatar: Seashells? What, you're going to sell them and use the money to buy candy?
 * Gaius: Well, something like that, sure.
 * Avatar: Gaius! Look out!
 * Gaius: Much obliged, Bubbles. You pushed me outta the way just in time.
 * Avatar: "Much obliged"?! That arrow could have killed you! I don't want to lose you! Not here! And certainly not like that! For the love of the gods, stop collecting seashells and take this battle seriously!
 * Gaius: What, you're saying I'm not taking my fighting seriously now?
 * Avatar: If by "now" you mean when you were almost perforated while gathering shells, then yes!
 * Gaius: Pah, you were distracting me. I'm here keeping an eye on enemy movements.
 * Avatar: You've got to be kidding! You're blaming ME for distracting YOU?!
 * Gaius: I didn't say that exactly. You gotta stop reading so much into everything.
 * Avatar: What?! That's exactly what you said! Hmph! Fine, do whatever you want. Sorry if my trying to save your life cut into your precious seashell-gathering time! You can jump into the ocean and...and go pearl diving for all I care!
 * (Avatar leaves)
 * Gaius: Huh. She didn't seem too happy about that. I guess she doesn't see it, but I'm way more careful than I used to be. I used to think that nobody'd care much either way if I kicked the bucket. But that's not true anymore. I've got her now. She said she'd hate to lose me like this... Well, I'd hate to lose her too. But thinking that to myself isn't worth a damn if I can't come out and say it. *Sigh* What's a man to do? ...Ooh! Look at that shell!

W/ Lon'qu

 * Lon'qu: Hah! Yah! Haaaaargh! *Pant, pant*
 * Gaius: You're training in this heat? What are you, nuts?
 * Lon'qu: You should join me. The climate here is much harsher than that of Ferox or Ylisse. The intense heat allows you to work yourself even harder than usual.
 * Gaius: You don't say. Thanks, but I think I'll pass. Pointless exercise isn't really my thing. I admit I am enjoying the sun, though. Makes ice pops taste even better'n usual!
 * Lon'qu: Ice pops? Hmph. More sweets... No good will ever come of your preoccupation with sugar.
 * Gaius: As sunny as ever, I see. But you'd better sweeten your tone... Otherwise you won't be getting any of this crate of pops I bought!
 * Lon'qu: I don't want any.
 * Gaius: Ha! Sure you don't! I mean, who wants cool, sweet ice trickling down his throat in this heat, right?
 * Lon'qu: I don't care for sweet things. Nor do I care to be fat and out of shape.
 * Gaius: Boy, you're a regular laugh riot, huh?
 * Lon'qu: Preferences aside, though, I'll admit that sweets do have their uses.
 * Gaius: Oh yeah? Go on. I'm listening...
 * Lon'qu: I'll show you once the battle's done. I don't have time to waste on you now.
 * (Lon'qu leaves)
 * Gaius: Yeesh, what is that guy's problem? Though I'm curious what he meant... What possible use could there be for sweets besides eating them?

W/ Chrom

 * Note: Chrom's conversation with Cordelia will only trigger if Cordelia is still single.
 * Cordelia: Golden sand... Swaying palms... Could anything be more romantic? If only we could be here alone, just the two of us... Oh, but listen to me. I promised myself I'd stop dreaming of him...
 * Chrom: Dreaming about who?
 * Cordelia: *HACK* C-Chrom?! Did I say dreaming? I don't think I did! No, d-definitely not!
 * Chrom: Huh. Guess I must have misheard. What's wrong, by the way? You seem unusually...tense.
 * Cordelia: T-tense? M-me? N-no, not at all! See? No tension here! *gasp*
 * Chrom: Er, if you say so... Anyway, it's pretty hot here, huh? Are you holding up okay?
 * Cordelia: H-h-hot? Oh, er, yes, it is, isn't it...? *Pant* *wheeze* *choke*
 * Chrom: Cordelia, are you all right? You sound like you can barely breathe! Is it the heat?
 * Cordelia: I...I AM feeling flushed and hot...but it's nothing to do with the weather... This...this heat is in my soul! I'm overcome with emotion and drowning in joy! To be blessed with a rare opportunity to speak with Chrom himself... Why, it's almost more excitement than my poor heart can stand!
 * Chrom: Er...
 * Cordelia: ARGH! Did I just say that out loud?! Oh, GODS, this is mortifying!
 * Chrom: ...Rare opportunity? I do try to talk to the troops whenever I can, you know...
 * Cordelia: Oh! Oh, no! No, that's not what I—I wasn't criticizing you! You're a WONDERFUL leader, and you ALWAYS take time to talk to your people! When I say "rare," what I mean is...I just wish we could speak more often, and then... Argh! I'm doing it again! Cordelia—these silly fantasies have got to stop!
 * Chrom: I'm becoming increasingly confused by this conversation...
 * Cordelia: I'm SO sorry, Chrom... I really don't know what's come over me... Perhaps this heat IS getting to me... I'm feeling a little light headed...
 * Chrom: What? Why didn't you say so earlier?! Can you walk? Here, take my arm, and I'll escort you to that shade over there.
 * Cordelia: Y-your ARM? You want me—Cordelia—to...to touch your ARM?! I...I can't take this anymore...I feel so...happy...I could die...
 * Chrom: Cordelia, no! Don't close your eyes! If you see light, don't go near it! Stay with me!
 * Cordelia: Ohh...I will, Chrom... I WILL... I wouldn't miss this moment for the world... Now, I'll just place my hands here...on your muscular forearm... ...... ......
 * Chrom: What's wrong? Are your hands too weak to grip?
 * Cordelia: I...I can't do it! I can't bring myself to touch you! Just the thought if it makes me...makes me.... ARRRGH!
 * (Cordelia collapses)
 * Chrom: Cordelia! What's wrong? Can you hear me? Cordelia! DON'T GO!

W/ The Avatar (Male) (normal version)

 * Cordelia: My, isn't this a beautiful shell! Look how the waves have polished away its edges... This beach is filled to overflowing with lovely treasures. It truly is paradise!
 * Avatar: Cordelia?
 * Cordelia: Oh! Avatar! Is...is everything okay?!
 * Avatar: That's what I came to ask you! I saw you crouching in the sand here and was worried you'd been wounded!
 * Cordelia: Oh, no. I'm fine. But thank you for your concern. I was just...checking my bindings. We do have to watch our footing in this sand!
 * Avatar: That's very prudent of you, Cordelia. But if you ever get hurt, don't be afraid to let me know, okay? You can be so stubborn, you know? I worry sometimes... Anyway, you carry on. I'd better be getting back to—Huh? Why are there so many seashells piled up behind you?
 * Cordelia: Hm? Oh, these? Umm, maybe the brigands were gathering them for some reason... I'll just put them safely over here. We, um... wouldn't want anyone to trip over them.
 * Avatar: Okay, thanks. I'll leave that to you.
 * Cordelia: Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!
 * (Avatar leaves)
 * Cordelia: ...... Phew, that was close... Wait—what was close? I could have just admitted I was collecting seashells... Ooh, isn't that one a beauty! And that one... And that one too!"

W/ The Avatar (Male) (married version)

 * Cordelia: My, isn't this a beautiful shell! Look how the waves have polished away its edges... This beach is filled to overflowing with lovely treasures. It truly is paradise!
 * Avatar: Cordelia?
 * Cordelia: Oh! Avatar! Is...is everything okay?!
 * Avatar: That's what I came to ask you! I saw you crouching in the sand here and was worried you'd been wounded!
 * Cordelia: Oh, no. I'm fine. But thank you for your concern. I was just...checking my bindings. We do have to watch our footing in this sand!
 * Avatar: That's very prudent of you, Cordelia. But if you ever get hurt, don't be afraid to let me know, okay? You can be so stubborn, you know? I worry sometimes... Anyway, you carry on. I'd better be getting back to—Huh? Why are there so many seashells piled up behind you?
 * Cordelia: Hm? Oh, these? Umm, maybe the brigands were gathering them for some reason... I'll just put them safely over here. We, um... wouldn't want anyone to trip over them.
 * Avatar: Okay, thanks. I'll leave that to you.
 * Cordelia: Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!
 * (Avatar leaves)
 * Cordelia: ......Phew, that was close... Wait—what was close? What am I hiding? Avatar is my husband. I shouldn't have to hide things from him. I could have just admitted I was collecting seashells... Ooh, isn't that one a beauty! And that one... And that one too!"

W/ The Avatar (Female)

 * Cordelia: My, isn't this a beautiful shell! Look how the waves have polished away its edges... This beach is filled to overflowing with lovely treasures. It truly is paradise!
 * Avatar: Cordelia?
 * Cordelia: Oh! Avatar! Is...is everything okay?!
 * Avatar: That's what I came to ask you! I saw you crouching in the sand here and was worried you'd been wounded!
 * Cordelia: Oh, no. I'm fine. But thank you for your concern. I was just...checking my bindings. We do have to watch our footing in this sand!
 * Avatar: That's very prudent of you, Cordelia. Anyway, I'm glad you're not hurt. I'd better be getting back to— Huh? Why are there so many seashells piled up behind you?
 * Cordelia: Hm? Oh, these? Umm, maybe the brigands were gathering them for some reason... I'll just put them safely over here. We, um...wouldn't want anyone to trip over them.
 * Avatar: Okay, thanks. I'll leave that to you.
 * Cordelia: Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!
 * (Avatar leaves)
 * Cordelia: ...... Phew, that was close... Wait—what was close? What am I hiding? I could have just admitted I was collecting seashells... Ooh, isn't that one a beauty! And that one... And that one too!

W/ Maribelle

 * Maribelle: You and Sumia sure do seem to spend a lot of time together, Cordelia.
 * Cordelia: Now that you mention it, I suppose we do. Is that a problem?
 * Maribelle: Ha! Can you not bear to leave her alone for fear she might trip and brain herself?
 * Cordelia: O-of course not! There may have been one or two...incidents, but she's a capable girl! And if you want to talk about inseparable couples, what of you and Lissa?
 * Maribelle: Why, Lissa and I are the dearest of friends! There's nothing peculiar about wishing to spend one's time in such pleasant company! She's a soothing and pleasant presence—unlike that addlepated butterfingers!
 * Cordelia: H-how dare you?! Sumia is kinder and funnier than anyone else in this army!
 * Maribelle: Ha! Unintentionally, perhaps? Lissa's wit is both deliberate AND exceptional! It saddens me that you have yet to fully experience her joyful gaiety of spirit!
 * Cordelia: W-well...Sumia's smile is brighter than the very sun itself! One glimpse of it is enough to make amends for any blunder!
 * Maribelle: And Lissa's smile has precisely the same effect... The only difference being that she doesn't MAKE any blunders!
 * Cordelia: Oh, really? Not even the blunder of choosing YOU as a friend?
 * Maribelle: My, but you are a stubborn one!
 * Cordelia: ME, stubborn?! You are the most obstinate, contrary...so-and-so I have ever met!
 * Maribelle: Hmph! This is far from over! You will pay for your pigheadedness!
 * Cordelia: Ha! We'll see about that!

W/ Stahl

 * Gregor: Stahl! What is reason for standing still with such blank expression?
 * Stahl: Hm? Oh, hello, Gregor. Did I look blank? I was just staring out over the horizon. I like to do that sometimes. It's kind of a habit of mine...
 * Gregor: You have habit of staring into space? Since when is Stahl becoming old man? Why look at boring line where ocean meets sky? Look instead at beautiful lines where sunshine meets girls!
 * Stahl: Uh, which girls are these exactly? The only girls I see are head-to-toe in armor, brandishing bloodied weapons...
 * Gregor: ...Ah, yes. Now you are mentioning it, Gregor can see this. Is bad timing.
 * Stahl: And besides, for all your talk, you haven't exactly been embracing the beach life. I imagined you'd be doing more to take advantage of this beautiful resort!
 * Gregor: What? No! Gregor is too old for frolicking in surf! Gregor is content to be sitting and watching youthful antics from afar. Give delicious ice cream and cold mug of mead, and Gregor is happy man!
 * Stahl: Well, there you go. I'm the same way. I'd rather sit back and relax than splash around in the waves like a child. *Sigh* Listen to me... I DO sound like an old man.
 * Gregor: To Gregor's ears, yes. But if Stahl is fan of such things, then why not? Everyone is having own way to enjoy pleasures of holiday, yes? Some chase girls and splash in ocean, and others stare into space like zombie.
 * Stahl: Hmm... I guess you're right. Say, you wanna grab an ice cream when this battle's over?
 * Gregor: Hah! Now you speaking language of Gregor! We'll show youngsters there is more than one way to have wild and crazy time!

W/ Frederick

 * Frederick: Libra! Thank the gods. I was hoping I might run into you.
 * Libra: Hello, Frederick. Is there something I can assist you with?
 * Frederick: I have sinned...deeply and frequently. Unforgivably, in fact! Oh, gods...
 * Libra: Now, now. Try to remain calm. Were you hoping to confess these sins?
 * Frederick: Yes, absolutely. I...I must.
 * Libra: Then I would hear your confession. Naturally, anything you say will be kept in the strictest confidence, so try to relax. All right. Whenever you're ready...
 * Frederick: Thank you. The truth is...lately, I have struggled to keep my devotion to my masters in check. And I am terrified that Chrom and Lissa have come to despise me for it!
 * Libra: I...I see... But isn't such loyalty considered to be a virtue?
 * Frederick: Well, in general, yes...
 * Libra: Then perhaps it would help if you confessed some specific sins.
 * Frederick: Very well. Let me see... For one, I decorated the walls of my tent with paintings of my beloved masters. I find it so inspiring to wake to their images each morning! But when two of them discovered this, they did not seem pleased.
 * Libra: ......
 * Frederick: Next, I found a tear in Chrom's smallclothes and set about mending it. When he saw this, he angrily ordered me not to trouble myself with such trifles...
 * Libra: Wait, none of these are si—
 * Frederick: And then, on a cold morning, I thought to warm Lissa's shoes at my breast. But when she found me, she told me to take my own shoes and shove them up my—
 * Libra: YES! Yes, I understand, Frederick. To be fair, that does sound a tad excessive, but still, I really wouldn't call it a—
 * Frederick: Oh, but I've only just begun! That was a mere taste of my countless transgressions! I can think of at least another 120 with very little effort indeed...
 * Libra: Which means the full total must be truly staggering...
 * Frederick: Precisely! Which is why I had hoped that you might ask Naga to forgive me...
 * Libra: I'm not quite sure it's Naga's forgiveness you need. Have you ever considered spending a little time apart from your masters?
 * Frederick: What?! But... But I...!
 * Libra: Sometimes a bit of distance is needed in order to gain the proper perspective.
 * Frederick: I...I suppose you're right. I shall endeavor to give this a try...

W/ Lissa

 * Lissa: Hey, Olivia! Wanna go for a swim when we're done here?
 * Olivia: Oh, no... No, thank you. I just... I couldn't possibly.
 * Lissa: Huh? Are you blushing? Don't tell me you're shy about wearing a swimsuit?
 * Olivia: I...I kind of am.
 * Lissa: You won't wear a swimsuit, yet you're fine with dancing the way you do?!
 * Olivia: That's different... Dancing is my job. But to put on a swimsuit, even for fun...I could never do something so brave...
 * Lissa: Why not? It wouldn't reveal much more than your dancing clothes already do!
 * Olivia: You...you really think so?
 * Lissa: And besides, I think you'd look amazing in a swimsuit!
 * Olivia: Th-thank you. That's very kind of you... It seems everybody's trying to get me to wear one. It was the same at Anna's shop. When I told her I was a dancer, she said I might like some of their...bolder designs... And the stuff she showed me... *shudder*
 * Lissa: Hee hee! Not quite your thing, huh? How bold are we talking here?
 * Olivia: You can't even imagine...
 * Lissa: Oh, you'd be surprised. Try me!
 * Olivia: Seriously, these things seemed to be mostly made of...string.
 * Lissa: String? But you can't just wear pieces of string! How would that even work?
 * Olivia: Please. You don't want to know...
 * Lissa: Okaaay... But they must have had just normal, everyday swimsuits too, right?
 * Olivia: I really don't remember... I was so taken aback by all the other stuff...
 * Lissa: Then let's go back and take a look! And this time, no freaking out! It's your job to be the center of attention! You gotta conquer that shyness!
 * Olivia: Y-you're right. And I suppose we are at the seaside, after all...
 * Lissa: There we go! That's the spirit!

W/ The Avatar (Male) (normal version)

 * Tharja: ......
 * Avatar: Hey, uh...Tharja?
 * Tharja: Oh? You're talking to me, Avatar? What a delight! How can I help you?
 * Avatar: Well...I was wondering why you've been following me around all day. I mean, even when you run off to fight a foe, you come straight back to me.
 * Tharja: Is it so strange for me to want to be by your side every moment of the day?
 * Avatar: Uh, yeah, kinda...
 * Tharja: But it's so nice to spend time together by the sea. I don't want to miss a moment! Needless to say, if you weren't here. I'd be bored out of my skull. But when I'm with you, it feels as if we've been swept away to an island paradise...
 * Avatar: Oh, uh...okay? Well, in that case, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.
 * Tharja: You're so kind, Avatar. Can I ask you a favor?
 * Avatar: Uh, sure. What is it?
 * Tharja: I want you to slather my body with oil.
 * Avatar: S-slather you? With...oil?
 * Tharja: Well, you wouldn't want my skin to dry out in this heat now, would you? And I can't reach my back and, you know...other places.
 * Avatar: You want me to rub oil on your back?! Don't you think that's a little, um... P-perhaps you'd be better off asking a girl to help?
 * Tharja: No. I want you to do it. Otherwise, what's the point?
 * Avatar: Uh, I thought the point was to protect your skin...
 * Tharja: Tee-hee...
 * Avatar: Wh-why are you blushing? Anyway, we're in the middle of a battle. Sorry, but your oil will have to wait. And I really would suggest that you ask another woman to help...
 * (Avatar leaves)
 * Tharja: Avatar, wait! Where are you going? Oh, why must he be so difficult? Still, he can't evade me for long on this beach. There's literally no where to hide! Hee... Hee hee hee!

W/ Avatar (Male) (married version)

 * Tharja: ......
 * Avatar: Hey, uh...Tharja?
 * Tharja: Oh? You're talking to me, Avatar? What a delight! How can I help you?
 * Avatar: Well...I was wondering why you've been following me around all day. I mean, even when you run off to fight a foe, you come straight back to me.
 * Tharja: Is it so strange for me to want to be by your side every moment of the day?
 * Avatar: Well, no, but...aren't we always together? What's so special about today?
 * Tharja: I suppose it's because I'm so glad to be in such a beautiful place with you. I've been in absolute bliss ever since we got here, Avatar. Needless to say, if you weren't here. I'd be bored out of my skull. But with you, it's just paradise, pure and simple. I don't want to miss a moment!
 * Avatar: Oh, uh...okay. Well, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. But be careful, okay? Next to me might not always be the safest place to be.
 * Tharja: You're so kind, Avatar. That's what I love about you. Can I ask you a favor?
 * Avatar: Uh, sure. What is it?
 * Tharja: I want you to slather my body with oil.
 * Avatar: S-slather you? With...oil?
 * Tharja: Well, you wouldn't want my skin to dry out in this heat now, would you? And I can't reach my back and, you know...other places.
 * Avatar: Well, I guess this climate must be pretty harsh on the skin. But wife or not, I can hardly stop to rub you down with oil in the middle of a battle. Sorry, but if it's urgent, maybe you could ask one of the girls to help you?
 * Tharja: No! It has to be you! I won't let anyone touch me but you!
 * Avatar: I'm thrilled to hear that, but think what it would look like...
 * Tharja: Tee-hee...
 * Avatar: H-hey! What are you picturing in that head of yours? Anyway, we're in the middle of a battle. Sorry but your oil will have to wait.
 * (Avatar leaves)
 * Tharja: Avatar, wait! Where are you going? Oh, why must he always be so difficult? Still, he can't evade me for long on this beach. There's literally no where to hide! Hee... Hee hee hee!

W/ The Avatar (Female)

 * Tharja: ......
 * Avatar: Hey, uh...Tharja?
 * Tharja: Oh? You're talking to me, Avatar? What a delight! How can I help you?
 * Avatar: Well...I was wondering why you've been following me around all day. I mean, even when you run off to fight a foe, you come straight back to me.
 * Tharja: Is it so strange for me to want to be by your side every moment of the day?
 * Avatar: Uh, yeah, kinda...
 * Tharja: But it's so nice to spend time together by the sea. I don't want to miss a moment! Needless to say, if you weren't here, I'd be bored out of my skull. But when I'm with you, it feels as if we've been swept away to an island paradise...
 * Avatar: Oh, uh...okay? Well, in any case, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.
 * Tharja: You're so kind, Avatar. Can I ask you a favor?
 * Avatar: Uh, sure. What is it?
 * Tharja: I want you to slather my body with oil.
 * Avatar: S-slather? With...oil?
 * Tharja: Well, you wouldn't want my skin to dry out in this heat now, would you? And I can't reach my back and, you know...other places.
 * Avatar: I see. Certainly the climate here is harsh on one's skin. But I have my hands full formulating our battle strategy... I'm sorry, but perhaps one of the army's other women could help?
 * Tharja: No. I want you to do it. Otherwise, what's the point?
 * Avatar: Uh, I thought the point was to protect your skin...
 * Tharja: Tee-hee...
 * Avatar: Wh-why are you blushing? Anyway, we're in the middle of a battle. Sorry, but your oil will have to wait.
 * (Avatar leaves)
 * Tharja: Avatar, wait! Where are you going? Oh, why must she always be so difficult? Still, she can't evade me for long on this beach. There's literally nowhere to hide! Hee... Hee hee hee!

W/ Cordelia

 * Cordelia: Phew, it certainly is hot out here...
 * Tharja: You can say that again.
 * Cordelia: Uh-h. Don't look now, but I think you're getting a tan...
 * Tharja: What? How? I've barely been outside for five minutes!
 * Cordelia: I guess with your complexion, even a little sun makes a big difference. Besides, it's kind of inevitable when you're waking around half naked like that.
 * Tharja: Half-naked?! How dare you! Did you not notice my cloak? It's not like I'm strutting around in my underwear like these...beach strumpets!
 * Cordelia: I don't really see how what they wear is any different to what's under your cloak... Or perhaps I'm missing something? Here, take that off. Let me have a look.
 * Tharja: Touch me, and I'll blight your prying fingers, girl!
 * Cordelia: All right, all right! It was a joke.
 * Tharja: Hmph. I suppose I am showing a bit more skin than usual. But I confess I was blissfully unaware of it until you brought it up... Ugh. This is mortifying.
 * Cordelia: No, no! You said you were fine with it before—just forget I said anything!
 * Tharja: You and I both know that's not going to happen. Nope. It's official. I'm completely and utterly mortified...

W/ Panne

 * Panne: Cherche! This must stop!
 * Cherche: Panne, dear! is something the matter?
 * Panne: Dear!? Do you think me your pet!? I am no "dear" of yours!
 * Cherche: Forgive me. I mean nothing by it. Now, what did you want to talk about?
 * Panne: Grrr.... Do not toy with me! You know full well what this is about!
 * Cherche: I do...? I'm sorry, but I'm drawing a blank here.
 * Panne: Your lizard, man-spawn. Can it do nothing but gaze at me and drool? It does not take great genius to guess what the foul creature intends.
 * Cherche: Minerva is not foul! And she's certainly no lizard! Show some respect!
 * Panne: The finer points of reptile taxonomy do not concern me. Your lizard wishes to eat me.
 * Cherche: That's absurd! Minerva would never try to eat one of her allies! In fact, lately she only has eyes for fresh, wild rabbit.
 * Panne: Do I need to spell this out for you?
 * Cherche: What? Oh, ridiculous! You may not care for taxonomy, but Minerva can certainly tell a taguel from a rabbit! Isn't that right, Minerva?
 * (Minerva cries out)
 * Panne: Somehow, that fails to comfort me.

W/ Kellam

 * Henry: Nya ha ha! So many foes to fight! This is the best battle EVER!
 * Kellam: ......
 * Henry: Huh? Hey, Kellam. Where'd you pop up from?
 * Kellam: Actually, I've been standing here watching you the whole time...
 * Henry: You have? What for?
 * Kellam: Well...I couldn't help noticing you've got this gigantic smile on your face.
 * Henry: Do I? Hee hee! But look—you're grinning too!
 * Kellam: Actually, I'm just squinting. ...I do that a lot.
 * Henry: Oh. Maybe you should try glasses.
 * Kellam: Um, I'll keep that in mind... Anyway, it seems like you're always smiling, no matter what.
 * Henry: Er, yeah. I guess I am, now that you mention it! Nya ha! I just love bein' in the thick of things, you know? All these epic battles...full of blood and gore and hexes and carnage and... Man, what a great time!
 * Kellam: Erm...right... So I was wondering... If I were more like you, always happy and enjoying my work... Do you think maybe I'd be less...invisible? Might people, you know...notice me more?
 * Henry: Why? Is being invisible bad?
 * Kellam: Well, not in itself, I suppose. But sometimes it feels like no one cares about me. Like I don't even exist.
 * Henry: I think I get it now. Seems to me you're barking up the wrong tree, tin man. Visibility isn't the problem—you're just lonely! So all we gotta do is find a way to make you stop feeling lonely!
 * Kellam: Er...maybe, but that sounds much easier said than done...
 * Henry: Fear not! Let me stew on this for a spell and see if I can't come up with a solution. Don't worry, Kellam. We'll find a way to fix you up...one way or another!
 * (Henry leaves)
 * Kellam: *Sigh* How reassuring...

W/ Gaius

 * Henry: ......
 * Gaius: ...What is it, Junior? You're staring at me like I've got a banana for a nose.
 * Henry: I wasn't looking at YOU, grumpy. I was looking at your sack of sweets!
 * Gaius: Hey, keep your sticky little mitts to yourself, kiddo. No one touches Gaius's candy stash and lives to tell the tale.
 * Henry: I don't WANT any, silly. I just like looking at them!
 * Gaius: Huh? You've never seen sweets before?
 * Henry: Not many, no. Back in Plegia, we hardly have any cakes or sweets at all. We don't get the plentiful harvests that Ylisseans and Feroxi enjoy. So the dishes we make are kind of basic, you know? Nothing like those, anyhow.
 * Gaius: Sounds like you had it pretty rough.
 * Henry: Yup. It's hard to make cakes out of turnips, though that doesn't stop people trying! Anyway, the point is, I've never seen so many tasty-looking treats all in one place!
 * Gaius: Well, when it comes to sweets and cakes, presentation is as important as flavor. A sophisticated gourmand like me can tell a good cake from a bad one at fifty paces.
 * Henry: Huh. I never dreamed there were so many different kinds of desserts. I'm pretty sure i could spend the whole day staring at your stash!
 * Gaius: You know what, Junior? I can see you're a man of exquisite taste. Tell you what...I'm gonna show you my secret hoard. I'm talking the gods' own sweets here. Treats like you ain't never seen. I get the feeling you'll appreciate their splendor more than most.
 * Henry: Huh?! You mean you've got even more than what's in that sack?!
 * Gaius: Are you kidding? This little sampling would barely last me a single battle! Anyway, wait right here while I fetch my hoard. And don't try to follow me!
 * Henry: All right! Come back soon! Nya ha! This is gonna be great!

W/ Libra

 * Libra: Hah! Hi-yah! Keeee-YAH!
 * Henry: Hey-o, Libra! Why are you swinging your weapon at thin air like that?
 * Libra: I'm practicing my strikes. It's part of my daily training regimen.
 * Henry: Huh. Don't you get uncomfortable flailing around like that in this heat?
 * Libra: I'm only as hot as I allow myself to be. There is no pain the mind cannot overcome.
 * Henry: Really? I wonder. I figured some pain was way too deep for that...
 * Libra: You did? What kind of pain?
 * Henry: Like, I dunno...you're a priest, but you wield a weapon and smash people with it, right? I bet it causes you all kinds of anguish to have to splatter the life out of others!
 * Libra: That's...very perceptive of you, Henry. It's true that I inflict wounds with one hand while healing them with the other. But I do so in the belief that those wounds ultimately save lives.
 * Henry: But what a winding road to walk! Doesn't the contradiction drive you crazy? Why not leave the killing to those of us who enjoy it, and just focus on healing?
 * Libra: That's something I've often considered. But in the end, I always choose otherwise. When you wield a weapon, you hold the power to change men's fates in your hand. I have chosen to do so with full understanding and respect for that truth.
 * Henry: Aren't you overthinking things a little? A weapon's just a tool for killing! Wouldn't it be a whole lot easier to just accept that and move on? Who knows—you might wind up like me and start to really savor the joys of slaying! I mean, when you get down to it, aren't you and I both doing the exact same thing?
 * Libra: You're right. Accepting that probably would make things easier. But I don't believe that wielding a weapon should be easy...
 * Henry: Heh. You sure do like to make things difficult for yourself. I thought I might be able to help you simplify your life a bit, but... Oh well!
 * Libra: We'll just have to accept that we're never going to agree on this topic. And I'll just have to hope that you can somehow learn to respect that...

W/ Stahl

 * Stahl: *Pant, pant...* *wheeze*
 * Chrom: Good grief, Stahl. Are you all right?
 * Stahl: I-I'm fine... *wheeze* Must...defeat...more foes...
 * Chrom: Wait—don't let them draw you out of formation!
 * Stahl: But...I have to...kill them all... Can't stop... Must win...single handed...
 * Chrom: Stahl, get ahold of yourself!
 * Stahl: What—?! I...I'm sorry... I just thought... I mean, I know you're counting on me, so I—
 * Chrom: Stahl, look at you. You're as tense as a loaded crossbow. It's a wonder you can even move with your neck muscles knotted up like that.
 * Stahl: S-sorry... I just didn't want to let you down... Not after you put your faith in me...you know?
 * Chrom: Is that what this is about?
 * Stahl: Ever since you lavished me with all that praise, I've been very anxious... Becoming the mightiest knight in the halidom is a lot harder than I thought! I'm not so arrogant to think I'd actually live up to that, but I knew I had to try...
 * Chrom: ...I see. It seems I owe you an apology. I only meant to encourage you—to let you know that your efforts were appreciated. I certainly didn't intend for you to try to take on the enemy single handed!
 * Stahl: No, of course... I never should've—
 * Chrom: Listen, Stahl... It makes no difference to me whether you're the mightiest knight in the realm. What matters is that you're healthy and able to help us win this war. To fight together with us not only as comrades...but as friends.
 * Stahl: Wow, I... I don't know what to say...
 * Chrom: Just say that you understand.
 * Stahl: Oh, I absolutely understand! In fact, I swear upon my family's honor to fight harder than anyone has ever— ...Wait. I'm doing it again. Heh. All right, let's just say this: I promise to do my best to help us get through this war—together.
 * Chrom: That's more like it.
 * Stahl: Whew... I have to say, it feels good to get that off my back... My appetite's returning already!
 * Chrom: Ha! Now that's the Stahl I know. It's good to have you back, friend.

W/ Cordelia

 * Note: Chrom's conversation with Cordelia will only trigger if Cordelia is still single.
 * Cordelia: I cannot BELIEVE I fainted like some ridiculous romance-novel heroine... And right in front of Chrom, no less! Gods, what would Phila say? Actually, I know exactly what she'd say. She'd tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself and make amends on the battlefield.
 * Chrom: Cordelia! What are you doing, rushing around under this blazing-hot sun?
 * Cordelia: C-Chrom! What a coincidence! We keep running into each other today...
 * Chrom: Running into each other? I'm staying close because I'm worried about you. What if you passed out again? We haven't cleared out all the enemies yet.
 * Cordelia: Th-that's very kind of you, Chrom... I can't tell you how happy it makes me. But if you think I'm going to lounge under a palm tree while everyone else fights...
 * Chrom: Point taken. I know you're not the type to shirk a battle. But listen—you have to promise me that you'll take better care of yourself.
 * Cordelia: Er...
 * Chrom: You're your own worst critic, and that's part of what makes you so strong... But sometimes you take it too far. If you're feeling ill, it's imperative that you rest. Would you consider it? For my sake?
 * Cordelia: T-truly, Chrom... I'm grateful for the concern, but—
 * Chrom: But nothing. Go on, find a shady spot and let us finish this battle. If you collapse a second time. I'm not going to carry you safety again.
 * Cordelia: Y-yes, sir... If you insis— ...Wait a second. Did you just say you CARRIED me? As in...lifted me off the sand? Swept me up in your manly arms?
 * Chrom: Er...I'm not sure I'd put it like that, exactly. But yes.
 * Cordelia: ARRRRRRRRRGH! Oh, Gods, I am SOOO sorry! I can't BELIEVE I made you do that! It must have been such a chore! Was I heavy? Did I hurt your back?!
 * Chrom: Well, you WERE wearing armor...
 * Cordelia: UGH! I knew it! This has to be the single most embarrassing thing I've ever done! Gods, Chrom, how am I ever going to make this up to you? That's it! I'm returning to battle! No more of this damsel-in-distress nonsense!
 * Chrom: Are you sure you can handle it?
 * Cordelia: Absolutely. If I run and hide in the shade now, I'll just die of shame... Instead, I'm going to take down twice as many foes to make up for what I missed! So if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to restoring the seaside peace here.
 * Chrom: Well, if your mind's made up...
 * Cordelia: You bet it is! Now if you'll excuse me...
 * (Cordelia leaves)
 * Chrom: ...Huh. Every time I try to talk to here the conversations ends up turning weird. She takes her role as a pegasus knight so seriously... Perhaps I make her nervous? She seemed particularly off kilter today, though. Maybe it IS the weather? In any case, I think I'd better leave her alone—give her some breathing room...
 * (Cut to Cordelia alone)
 * Cordelia: *Sigh* It was so nice to talk to Chrom... And it actually went well, for a change. But I know his affections lie elsewhere... He and I... It'll never work. I know that someday I'm going to have to give up on these foolish dreams of mine... Someday...but perhaps not today. ...All right, Cordelia. That's enough pining. It's time to slay some brigands!

W/ Chrom

 * Avatar: Hey, Chrom! How goes the battle on your— ...Huh? What's up with all those seashells?
 * Chrom: Oh, hello, Avatar. I was trying to fashion a necklace out of the. It didn't go well.
 * Avatar: You were fashioning a necklace...? Has this been a hobby of yours for long? It looks as if they've been completely pulverized. What went wrong?
 * Chrom: Well, I can at least say I have a talent for smashing things in frustration...
 * Avatar: So it seems... And what's that behind you? What are those charred lumps?
 * Chrom: Those are...er, WERE fish. I was trying to cook them. They got burned.
 * Avatar: That's putting it kindly...
 * Chrom: Yeah, it didn't exactly pan out as intended.
 * Avatar: Huh. Well...I guess even the greatest chefs burn things now and again... And I'll pretend I haven't noticed the collapsed sand castle or the half-build raft... And what is that? A bug-infested tropical fruit salad? ...I'll just ignore that too.
 * Chrom: That would probably be for the best.
 * Avatar: Listen, Chrom, I'm sure my excitement for the beach was infectious, but...well, maybe it's best to save these...activities...for after the battle's done.
 * Chrom: No, you're right. But first, there's one more thing I want you to see. Now that it's done, I think it might've been a terrible idea, but...
 * Avatar: Really? There's more? What is it this ti— Oh my!
 * Chrom: So...what do you think?
 * Avatar: ...... Pfft... Ha ha ha... AAAAH ha ha ha ha ha! "Chrom & Avatar Were Here." Ha ha! Did you write this all by yourself?
 * Chrom: Yes.
 * Avatar: Ha ha! Just imagine you slaving over this giant scrawl is enough to—! Ha ha! I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't be mocking my commander in a time of war... B-but...! Ha ha ha! I'm sorry! It's just too funny!
 * Chrom: So did you...like it?
 * Avatar: Like it? Ha ha! Are you kidding? I loved it!
 * Chrom: Whew. Then it was worth the effort. ...And the humiliation. I'm glad I was able to do something to make you happy.
 * Avatar: Wait, Chrom... Don't tell me all this... All of these ruined projects... That was you trying to make me happy?
 * Chrom: Is that so strange? I mean, you're the whole reason we were invited here in the first place. So I've been trying to figure out some way I could show my gratitude. And, you know...you don't have any memories before we met. So I thought I might be able to help you make some new ones...
 * Avatar: Oh, Chrom... I didn't realize. Thank you. Thank you so much.
 * Chrom: Well, I'm not sure thanks are in order. After all, all of my ideas ended in disaster...
 * Avatar: Heh. Well, that may be so, but I still owe you one. After all, it's not fair if I'm the only one having fun here! So once this battle's over, let's think up something we can enjoy together. Deal?
 * Chrom: All right. You've got yourself a deal.

W/ Gaius

 * Gaius: Seems I got most of the good shells on this stretch of beach. Oh, wait. Looks like I missed something over there... What the...?! It's wrapped in paper... Hey, this is a piece of coconut brittle! There's a whole line of 'em! Sweet, sweet candy as far as the eye can see! Man, this must be my lucky day. Well, time to start filling my pockets! ...... ......
 * Avatar: ......
 * Gaius: Wha—? Bubbles!
 * Avatar: Good job, Mr. Master Thief. I can't believe that actually worked.
 * Gaius: Wait... You're the one who left all that candy lying around?
 * Avatar: Yep. I needed to figure out a way to lead you here. Who would've thought the simplest idea would turn out to be the best?
 * Gaius: Hmph. What's with trying to lure me here anyhow? First you run off all upset, and now you're trying to reel me back in? Like to wear a guy out before hitting him with a second dose of lectures, huh?
 * Avatar: Actually, I wanted to apologize about before.
 * Gaius: Huh? Did a coconut fall on your head or something?
 * Avatar: Frederick saw our little talk earlier, and he filled me in. He told me you're always on the hunt for valuables. It's not so you can buy candy, is it? It's so you can help fund the army.
 * Gaius: *Sigh* That little tattletale... I told him not to say anything—especially around you or Chrom.
 * Avatar: Well, regardless of that, now I know, and I feel absolutely terrible. Thanks for performing such a vital service—and for being so modest about it.
 * Gaius: Pah, don't worry about it. If I'd wanted gratitude, I'd have told you myself. ...Still, at least now you know I WAS taking things seriously back there.
 * Avatar: Thanks, Gaius. But it really is dangerous out here. Why don't you call it a day?
 * Gaius: Are you kidding? The more money we make, the better the gear we can buy, right?
 * Avatar: Hm. It's true we could use the money for new equipment... But it's not worth risking valuable military assets to acquire funds. And believe me, Gaius, you're a valuable asset. And an even more valuable friend.
 * Gaius: ...... All right, let's say I do hold off on the treasure hunting—what's in it for me?
 * Avatar: You...you want a reward?! B-but I don't have anything to offer...
 * Gaius: Heh, I'm just kidding, Bubbles. These coconut brittles are payment enough. It's good to know someone like you is looking out for someone like me.
 * Avatar: Gaius...
 * Gaius: Well, now that we've made nice, you can go on ahead. I need to make sure I didn't miss any of these tasty little fellas.
 * (Gaius leaves)
 * Avatar: What? But it's too dangerous! They're firing more arrows! Gaius, wait! Listen, I'll give you more candy later! Gaius? Gaiuuus! Gah, I knew I shouldn't have left so many of those stupid things...

W/ Cordelia (normal version)

 * Cordelia: Aaand...it's perfect! Just the right amount of exotic flair!
 * Avatar: What are you doing with all those lances, Cordelia?
 * Cordelia: Oh! Avatar! There are, uh, um... I wasn't goofing off, it that's what you're implying!
 * Avatar: Huh?
 * Cordelia: In fact, I was... Oh! Yes! I was testing new ways to increase a throwing lance's range! Specifically, attaching these seashells for their...aerodynamic properties. Let's give it a try! Hii-YAH! See!
 * Avatar: Wow! You hit the tree dead center! And from this far away too. It totally worked!
 * Cordelia: Um, yes! Just as I theorized! So...it's luck I made so many shell enhanced lances!
 * Avatar: I'm really impressed, Cordelia. Hey, do you think this one will fly as far?
 * Cordelia: Th-that one? Uh...
 * Avatar: The shells make it really pretty too! Here, let me have a throw...
 * Cordelia: Avatar, no! Stop! Don't throw that one, please! It's...it's my favorite.
 * Avatar: Your favorite?
 * Cordelia: I'm sorry. All of that was a lie. I wasn't developing new aerodynamic lances... I just really like seashells. So I was using them to decorate my weapons.
 * Avatar: You were? But that lance you threw flew really far!
 * Cordelia: That was just...adrenaline.
 * Avatar: Adrenaline?!
 * Cordelia: Yes. The shells don't help at all. It was just brute strength. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't waste time like this in the middle of a battle. I've let you down. I've let us all down. I'll accept any punishment the war council sees fit to give to me.
 * Avatar: Calm down, Cordelia. No one's being punished here. I'm not upset. In fact, I'm kind of glad.
 * Cordelia: G-glad?
 * Avatar: Yeah. You always seem so serious, you know? Sometimes I worry that you don't know how to relax and let off steam. So I'm happy I was able to see a whole other side of you today.
 * Cordelia: ...Thank you, Avatar.
 * Avatar: And look at you, playing like a kid on the beach! Who knew you could be so cute?
 * Cordelia: C-cute?! There is nothing "cute" about me!
 * Avatar: Wait, are you blushing? Ha! You're getting cuter by the second!
 * Cordelia: Damn it, Avatar! Stop teasing m—
 * Avatar: OOF!
 * Cordelia: Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I completely forgot I was holding a lance!
 * Avatar: I'm...okay... Just took me by surprise is all...
 * (Avatar collapses)
 * Cordelia: Are you sure you're okay, Avatar? You seem more winded than you should be from such a glancing blow... Wait—maybe my seashells really did make a difference! Maybe they're not just pretty after all!
 * Avatar: (off screen) Maybe you could...help me up now and...discuss your seashell theory...later...
 * Cordelia: Oh, right! Sorry!

W/ Cordelia (married version)

 * Cordelia: Aaand...it's perfect! Just the right amount of exotic flair!
 * Avatar: What are you doing with all those lances, Cordelia?
 * Cordelia: Oh! Avatar! There are, uh, um... I wasn't goofing off, it that's what you're implying!
 * Avatar: Huh?
 * Cordelia: In fact, I was... Oh! Yes! I was testing new ways to increase a throwing lance's range! Specifically, attaching these seashells for their...aerodynamic properties. Let's give it a try! Hii-YAH! See!
 * Avatar: Wow! You hit the tree dead center! And from this far away too. It totally worked!
 * Cordelia: Um, yes! Just as I theorized! So...it's luck I made so many shell enhanced lances!
 * Avatar: I'm really impressed, Cordelia. Hey, do you think this one will fly as far?
 * Cordelia: Th-that one? Uh...
 * Avatar: The shells make it really pretty too! Here, let me have a throw...
 * Cordelia: Avatar, no! Stop! Don't throw that one, please! It's...it's my favorite.
 * Avatar: Your favorite?
 * Cordelia: I'm sorry. All of that was a lie. I wasn't developing new aerodynamic lances... I just really like seashells. So I was using them to decorate my weapons.
 * Avatar: You were? But that lance you threw flew really far!
 * Cordelia: That was just...adrenaline.
 * Avatar: Adrenaline?!
 * Cordelia: Yes. The shells don't help at all. It was just brute strength. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't waste time like this in the middle of a battle. For me to be playing like a child while my husband frantically drafts battle plans is... You must be so disappointed in me... If you want to annul our marriage, I...I'll understand.
 * Avatar: Calm down, Cordelia. You're blowing this way out of proportion. I'm not disappointed in you at all. In fact, this only makes me love you more.
 * Cordelia: It...does?
 * Avatar: Yeah. You always seem so serious, you know? Sometimes I worry that you don't know how to relax and let off steam. So I'm happy I was able to see a whole other side of you today.
 * Cordelia: ...Thank you, Avatar.
 * Avatar: And look at you, playing like a kid on the beach! Who knew you could be so cute?
 * Cordelia: C-cute?! There is nothing "cute" about me!
 * Avatar: Wait, are you blushing? Ha! You're getting cuter by the second!
 * Cordelia: Damn it, Avatar! Stop teasing me! You know I hate that!
 * Avatar: Oh ho! Coming at me with your lance? Sloppy form—I saw that a mile away! Look how easy I can just side step it, and—
 * Cordelia: Right into my trap!
 * Avatar: Huh?! Umm-ah!
 * Cordelia: ...... Heh. Some master tactician you are! You left your lips wide open!
 * Avatar: C-Cordelia... I can't believe you'd just...
 * Cordelia: ...I'd just kiss you in front of the whole army like that? Then you underestimate me. Now who's getting sloppy?
 * Avatar: Damn it!
 * Cordelia: What's this? You've gone beet red! Is that all it takes to make you blush? My, my—you're getting cuter by the second!
 * Avatar: It's bad enough that I underestimated you—now I've lost the initiative as well. This is not going according to plan...
 * Cordelia: Is that a problem? Haven't your heard strong wives make for happy marriages? But if you're that upset, I guess you'll have to plan a counterattack. I'd suggest a surprise romantic offensive of overwhelming proportions, personally...
 * Avatar: I'm way ahead of you! But I'll make sure the specific plan of attack is one you'll never see coming!
 * Cordelia: I'll be looking forward to it! But know that I'll always be watching you...and only you. I love you, Avatar. I always will.

W/ Tharja (normal version)

 * Tharja: Hee hee... There you are, Avatar!
 * Avatar: Th-Tharja?! Is this about the oil again?
 * Tharja: You really are clever! How did you know? Well then, please begin rubbing it in when you're ready. And don't be afraid to put plenty on—you'll be hearing no complaints from me.
 * Avatar: I'm sure I won't... Listen, Tharja, did I not make myself clear? I can't be doing this right now!
 * Tharja: ...... No. No, of course you can't. How selfish of me. You belong to everyone, of course. And they'd never let me have you to myself. Oh no.
 * Avatar: Um, Tharja? What are you talking about?
 * Tharja: When the battle's over, you'll run off to join them... And I'm sure you'll all have a wonderful time together in this...ugh...beautiful place. Silly me for thinking I might get some time with you in the battle, at least. Not even when I have a perfectly legitimate excuse...
 * Avatar: Um...
 * Tharja: But alas, even here I'm just a nuisance. I'll leave you to fight...unencumbered. Sorry for distracting you.
 * Avatar: N-no! Tharja! Wait!
 * Tharja: Hmm?
 * Avatar: It's not like that at all! I don't think of you as a nuisance! It's just that...well, doing that at a time like this would put us both in danger!
 * Tharja: ......
 * Avatar: I promise you, I don't value you any less than anyone else. If you'd like to spend time with me outside of battle, you need only ask. We are friends, after all.
 * Tharja: ...Really? You'd want to talk to me even after the battle's over?
 * Avatar: Of course I would!
 * Tharja: ...And rub body oil on me?
 * Avatar: Um, well... Now, that...
 * Tharja: I thought you said I wasn't a nuisance! So you're just humoring me, is that it?!
 * Avatar: N-no! No, I swear! It's okay. I'll...I'll do it. I'd be happy to oil you up!
 * Tharja: Thank you, Avatar... You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that. Ahh, just imagine... Avatar's big, strong hands... Here...and there...and over there...
 * Avatar: Um...Tharja?
 * Tharja: Come. We must dispense with these brigands as quickly as possible! The longer they last, the less quality time we'll have together. Hee hee...Now, what curse would work best... Maybe one to send them hurtling into the sea to become bloody fish food?
 * Avatar: *Gulp* I suppose I should count myself lucky she's so fond of me...

W/ Tharja (married version)

 * Tharja: Hee hee... There you are, Avatar!
 * Avatar: Th-Tharja?! Is this about the oil again?
 * Tharja: You really are clever! How did you know? Well then, please begin rubbing it in when you're ready. And don't be afraid to put plenty on—you'll be hearing no complaints from me.
 * Avatar: B-but I told you, I can't! Listen, Tharja, did I not make myself clear? I can't be doing this right now!
 * Tharja: ...... No. No, of course you can't. How selfish of me. You're always SO busy. Even your wife can't be allowed to monopolize your time. I should have known better...
 * Avatar: Um, Tharja? What are you talking about?
 * Tharja: When the battle's over, you'll run off to join everyone else... And I'm sure you'll all have a wonderful time together in this...ugh...beautiful place. I know we're always together, but it's not enough just to be in the same place. You're always surrounded by people while your wife waits in vain. Not that anyone but me seems to care that I am your wife...
 * Avatar: Th-Tharja...
 * Tharja: I'm sorry for being so direct. Bust asking you to rub oil on me was just an excuse to spend time with you. You've made it perfectly clear that you don't have time, though. You must have strategies to plan. I'll leave you to your important business.
 * Avatar: N-no! Tharja! Wait!
 * Tharja: Hmm?
 * Avatar: I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way. I didn't realize that you'd been so lonely this whole time.
 * Tharja: ......
 * Avatar: We're married now. Your needs come before everything else. After this battle, I'll make some time for us. I don't want you to be lonely any longer.
 * Tharja: ...Really? So after this battle, you'll spend the whole day alone with me?
 * Avatar: I will. That's a promise! And if I break it, you have my permission to curse me to death!
 * Tharja: That makes me very happy, Avatar. But I would never curse you. Well, not to death... Instead, you may seal your promise by kissing my hand.
 * Avatar: Um, right here and now?
 * Tharja: I've been waiting a long time for you. This is the least you can do.
 * Avatar: Well...if you insist. ......
 * Tharja: Mmmmph?!
 * Avatar: Was that okay?
 * Tharja: Those were my lips. I told you to kiss my hand.
 * Avatar: Sorry. I couldn't help myself. You're just too adorable...
 * Tharja: There's no need to overcompensate you know...
 * Avatar: I'm not overcompensating. I mean it. But I'm sorry for not doing what you asked. I was supposed to kiss your hand, right? Let me try again.
 * Tharja: ...No, there's no need. You disobeyed me, but I'm feeling generous. I'll let this slide once. Maybe when the battle's done...you can do it the wrong way again...
 * Avatar: Your wish is my command. Now, let's dispense with these brigands so we can be alone at last!
 * Tharja: Agreed. If I have to wait longer, things are going to get ugly... ...... All right, go. But be careful out there. I'll be with you every step of the way.
 * Avatar: Thanks, Tharja. You be careful too.

W/ Chrom (married version)

 * Avatar: Hey, Chrom! How goes the battle on your— ...Huh? What's up with all those seashells?
 * Chrom: Oh, hello, Avatar. I was trying to fashion a necklace out of them. It didn't go well.
 * Avatar: You were fashioning a necklace...? Has this been a hobby of yours for long? It looks as if they've been completely pulverized. What went wrong?
 * Chrom: Well, I can at least say I have a talent for smashing things in frustration...
 * Avatar: So it seems... And what's that behind you? What are those charred lumps?
 * Chrom: Those are...er, WERE fish. I was trying to cook them. They got burned.
 * Avatar: That's putting it kindly...
 * Chrom: Yeah, it didn't exactly pan out as intended.
 * Avatar: Huh. Well...I guess even the greatest chefs burn things now and again... And I'll pretend I haven't noticed the collapsed sand castle or the half-build raft... And what is that? A bug-infested tropical fruit salad? ...I'll just ignore that too.
 * Chrom: That would probably be for the best.
 * Avatar: Listen, Chrom, I'm sure my excitement for the beach was infectious, but...well, maybe it's best to save these...activities...for after the battle's done.
 * Chrom: No, you're right. But first, there's one more thing I want you to see. Now that it's done, I think it might've been a terrible idea, but...
 * Avatar: Really? There's more? What is it this ti— Oh my!
 * Chrom: So...what do you think?
 * Avatar: C-Chrom... Just look at this great big message in the sand... "Chrom & Avatar 4 Ever." How did this...? Why would you...?
 * Chrom: Does it make you happy?
 * Avatar: I...I don't know if I should be happy or embarrassed or...what, exactly... But it's certainly a sight I'll never forget, I can promise you that.
 * Chrom: Then I'm glad. Maybe I didn't make you happy, but I at least helped you make a new memory.
 * Avatar: Wait, Chrom... Is that what all this was about? The sand message, all the failed projects... It was all to help me make new memories?
 * Chrom: I guess it wasn't as obvious as I'd hoped it would be, huh? I know you didn't mean what you said before. Of course it bothers you that you don't have any memories from before we met. I wanted to make sure you were able to form at least a few happy memories here.
 * Avatar: Oh, Chrom... Thank you. Thank you so much. But you didn't need to go to all this trouble. Just being with you has given me an endless supply of happy memories!
 * Chrom: ...It has?
 * Avatar: Of course! The day we first met... Our first battle together... That time you peeked in on me in the bath... The day you confessed your love to me... I remember it all so vividly! I could never forget a single thing about you. Even if death were to tear us apart... Even if I lost my memories again...
 * Chrom: Avatar... Why would you even say such a thing?
 * Avatar: What? I'm just speaking hypothetically. Why are you making that face?
 * Chrom: Avatar...
 * Avatar: Huh? What are you—?!
 * Chrom: ......
 * Avatar: Mmmmmph! C-Chrom! Y-your lips... We shouldn't...
 * Chrom: Did you not enjoy that?
 * Avatar: N-no, it was wonderful! But we're in the middle of a battle here!
 * Chrom: I know. But the way you were talking... I couldn't help it.
 * Avatar: I understand, Chrom, but you're the commander of this army! Look, I'm going back to my position now. YOU stay here and fight, okay?
 * Chrom: Avatar, wait!
 * (Avatar leaves)
 * Chrom: *Sigh* She's gone. I'll have to apologize for that later...
 * (screen switches to Avatar)
 * Avatar: Right in the middle of a battle? What was he thinking?! I'll have to scold him for that later... ...... Well, I suppose he's at least given me one more memory I'll never forget. The big dolt!

W/ Gaius (normal version)

 * Gaius: Seems I got most of the good shells on this stretch of beach. Oh, wait. Looks like I missed something over there... What the...?! It's wrapped in paper... Hey, this is a piece of coconut brittle! There's a whole line of 'em! Sweet, sweet candy as far as the eye can see! Man, this must be my lucky day. Well, time to start filling my pockets! ...... ......
 * Avatar: ......
 * Gaius: Wha—? Bubbles!
 * Avatar: Good job, Mr. Master Thief. I can't believe that actually worked.
 * Gaius: Wait... You're the one who left all that candy lying around?
 * Avatar: Yep. I needed to figure out a way to lead you here. Who would've thought the simplest idea would turn out to be the best?
 * Gaius: Hmph. What's with trying to lure me here anyhow? First you run off all upset, and now you're trying to reel me back in? Like to wear a guy out before hitting him with a second dose of lectures, huh?
 * Avatar: Actually, I wanted to apologize about before.
 * Gaius: Huh? Did a coconut fall on your head or something?
 * Avatar: Frederick saw our little talk earlier, and he filled me in. He told me you're always on the hunt for valuables. It's not so you can buy candy, is it? It's so you can help fund the army.
 * Gaius: *Sigh* That little tattletale... I told him not to say anything—especially around you or Chrom.
 * Avatar: Well, regardless of that, now I know, and I feel absolutely terrible. Thanks for performing such a vital service—and for being so modest about it.
 * Gaius: Pah, don't worry about it. If I'd wanted gratitude, I'd have told you myself. ...Still, at least now you know I WAS taking things seriously back there.
 * Avatar: Thanks, Gaius. But it really is dangerous out here. Why don't you call it a day?
 * Gaius: Are you kidding? The more money we make, the better the gear we can buy, right?
 * Avatar: Hm. It's true we could use the money for new equipment... But it's not worth risking valuable military assets to acquire funds. And believe me, Gaius, you're a valuable asset. And an even more valuable friend.
 * Gaius: ...... All right, let's say I do hold off on the treasure hunting—what's in it for me?
 * Avatar: You...you want a reward?! B-but I don't have anything to offer...
 * Gaius: Heh, I'm just kidding, Bubbles. These coconut brittles are payment enough. It's good to know someone like you is looking out for someone like me.
 * Avatar: Gaius...
 * Gaius: Well, now that we've made nice, you can go on ahead. I need to make sure I didn't miss any of these tasty little fellas.
 * (Gaius leaves)
 * Avatar: What? But it's too dangerous! They're firing more arrows! Gaius, wait! Listen, I'll give you more candy later! Gaius? Gaiuuus! Gah, I knew I shouldn't have left so many of those stupid things...

W/ Gaius (married version)

 * Gaius: Seems I got most of the good shells on this stretch of beach. Oh, wait. Looks like I missed something over there... What the...? It's wrapped in paper... Hey, this is a piece of coconut brittle! There's a whole line of 'em! Sweet, sweet candy as far as the eye can see! Man, this must be my lucky day. Well, time to start filling my pockets! ...... .......
 * Avatar: ......
 * Gaius: Wha—? Bubbles!
 * Avatar: Good job, Mr. Master Thief. I can't believe that actually worked.
 * Gaius: Wait... You're the one who left all that candy lying around?
 * Avatar: Yep. I needed to figure out a way to lead you here. Who would've though the simplest idea would turn out to be the best?
 * Gaius: Hmph. What's with trying to lure me here anyhow? First you run of all upset, and now you're trying to reel me back in? Like to wear a guy out before hitting him with a second dose of lectures, huh?
 * Avatar: Actually, I wanted to apologize about before.
 * Gaius: Huh? Did a coconut fall on your head or something?
 * Avatar: Frederick saw our little talk earlier, and he filled me in. He told me why you're always on the hunt for valuables. It's not so you can buy candy, is it? It's so you can help fund the army.
 * Gaius: *Sigh* That little tattletale... I told him not to say anything—especially around you or Chrom.
 * Avatar: Well, regardless of that, now I know, and I feel absolutely terrible. Thanks for performing such a vital service—and for being so modest about it.
 * Gaius: Pah, don't worry about it. If I'd wanted gratitude, I'd have told you myself. ...Still, at least now you know I WAS taking things seriously back there. Anyway, I'm sorry Bubbles. You were just looking out for me, and I was a jerk.
 * Avatar: Oh, Gaius... It's okay—no harm done. But it really is dangerous out here. Why don't you call it a day?
 * Gaius: You really worry about me, huh? I should have told you this sooner, but... I really am trying to play it safe these days. I wouldn't want to put a big old frown on that beautiful face of yours, would I?
 * Avatar: But you can't guarantee you won't get hurt. This is war. Anything can happen... I worry about you, Gaius. You're the most important thing in the world to me.
 * Gaius: ...... All right, let's say I do hold off on the treasure hunting—what's in it for me?
 * Avatar: What's in it for you?! You don't get paid for listening to your wife! And even if I wanted to pay you, I don't have anything to give—
 * Gaius: Yes, you do. Right there.
 * Avatar: Huh...?
 * Gaius: ......
 * Avatar: Mmmmph?!
 * Gaius: Mmm. You taste sweet as sugar, baby. Couldn't resist a little of the old coconut brittle yourself, huh?
 * Avatar: G-Gaius! What are you doing?! We're in the middle of a battle!
 * Gaius: It's called planting a big, juicy kis—
 * Avatar: Ugh, enough! You're not going to sweet-talk your way out of this one, mister!
 * Gaius: Geez, would you quiet down already? Everyone's gonna hear you! Anyway, I'll consider that payment in full. And in exchange, I'll try to stay out of danger as best I can. All right?
 * Avatar: Try? Is that the best you can do?!
 * Gaius: Look, you have my word I'll stop risking my neck for pocket change. But I can't promise to stay completely out of danger at all times. What if someone attacked you? You're saying I couldn't jump in and save you?
 * Avatar: No, but I—
 * Gaius: It's all right. I know with your tactics, that'd never have to happen anyway. I believe in you, Bubbles. More than I've ever believed in anyone.
 * Avatar: Oh, Gaius... Thank you. I'll do my best to keep us both out of harm's way.
 * Gaius: I know you will. But listen, if you ever run short on funds and need my help again, just say the word. I'll make sure to keep the finder's fee reasonable...
 * Avatar: ...Excuse me?
 * Gaius: Heh heh. Just kidding!

W/ Cordelia

 * Cordelia: Aaand...it's perfect! Just the right amount of exotic flair!
 * Avatar: What are you doing with all those lances, Cordelia?
 * Cordelia: Oh, Avatar! These are, uh, um... I wasn't goofing off, if that's what you're implying!
 * Avatar: Huh?
 * Cordelia: In fact, I was... Oh! Yes! I was testing new ways to increase a throwing lance's range! Specifically, attaching seashells for their...aerodynamic properties. Let's give it a try! Hii-YAH! See!
 * Avatar: Wow! You hit that tree dead center! And from this far away too. It totally worked!
 * Cordelia: Um, yes! Just as I theorized! So...it's lucky I made so many shell-enhanced lances!
 * Avatar: I'm really impressed, Cordelia. Hey, do you think this one will fly as far?
 * Cordelia: Th-that one? Uh...
 * Avatar: The shells make it really pretty too! Here, let me have a throw...
 * Cordelia: Avatar, no! Stop! Don't throw that one, please! It's...it's my favorite.
 * Avatar: Your favorite?
 * Cordelia: I'm sorry. All of that was a lie. I wasn't developing new aerodynamic lances... I just really like seashells. So I was using them to decorate my weapons.
 * Avatar: You were? But that lance you threw flew really far!
 * Cordelia: That was just...adrenaline.
 * Avatar: Adrenaline?!
 * Cordelia: Yes. The shells don't help at all. It was just brute strength. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't waste time like this in the middle of a battle. I've let you down. I've let us all down. I'll accept any punishment the war council sees fit to give me.
 * Avatar: Calm down, Cordelia. No one's being punished here. I'm not upset. In fact, I'm kind of glad.
 * Cordelia: G-glad?
 * Avatar: Yeah. You always seem so serious, you know? Sometimes I worry that you don't know how to relax and let off steam. So I'm happy I was able to see a whole other side of you today.
 * Cordelia: ...Thank you, Avatar.
 * Avatar: And look at you, playing like a kid on the beach! Who knew you could be so cute?
 * Cordelia: C-cute?! There is nothing "cute" about me!
 * Avatar: Wait, are you blushing? Ha! You're getting cuter by the second!
 * Cordelia: Damn it, Avatar! Stop teasing m—
 * Avatar: OOF!
 * Cordelia: Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I completely forgot I was holding a lance!
 * Avatar: I'm...okay... Just...took me by surprise is all...
 * (Avatar collapses)
 * Cordelia: Are you sure you're okay, Avatar?! You seem more winded than you should be from such a glancing blow... Wait—maybe my seashells really did make a difference! Maybe they're not just pretty after all!
 * Avatar: (off screen) Maybe you could...help me up now and...discuss your seashell theory...later...
 * Cordelia: Oh, right! Sorry!

W/ Tharja

 * Tharja: Hee hee... There you are, Avatar!
 * Avatar: Th-Tharja?! Is this about the oil again?
 * Tharja: You really are clever! How did you know? Well then, please begin rubbing it in when you're ready. And don't be afraid to put plenty on—you'll hear no complaints from me.
 * Avatar: I'm sure I won't... Listen, Tharja, did I not make myself clear? I can't be doing this right now!
 * Tharja: ...... No. No, of course you can't. How selfish of me. You belong to everyone, of course. And they'd never let me have you to myself. Oh no.
 * Avatar: Um, Tharja? What are you talking about?
 * Tharja: When the battle's over, you'll run off to join them... And I'm sure you'll all have wonderful time together in this...ugh...beautiful place. Silly me for thinking I might get some time with you in battle, at least. Not even when I have a perfectly legitimate excuse...
 * Avatar: Um...
 * Tharja: But alas, even here I'm just a nuisance. I'll leave you to fight...unencumbered. Sorry for distracting you.
 * Avatar: N-no! Tharja! Wait!
 * Tharja: Hmm?
 * Avatar: It's not like that at all! I don't think of you as a nuisance! It's just that...well, doing that at a time like this would put us both in danger!
 * Tharja: ......
 * Avatar: I promise you I don't value you any less than anybody else. If you'd like to spend time with me outside of battle, you need only ask. We are friends, after all.
 * Tharja: ...Really? You'd want to talk to me even after the battle's over?
 * Avatar: Of course I would!
 * Tharja: ...And rub body oil on me?
 * Avatar: That's a promise.
 * Tharja: Thank you, Avatar... You've no idea how glad I am to hear you say that. Ahh, just imagine... Avatar&apos;s sweet caress... Here...and there...and over there... I've dreamed of this day for so very long!
 * Avatar: Um...Tharja?
 * Tharja: Come. We must dispense with these brigands as quickly as possible! The longer they last, the less quality time we'll have together. Hee hee... Now, what curse would work best... Maybe one to send them hurtling into the sea to become bloody fish food?
 * Avatar: *Gulp* I suppose I should count myself lucky she's so fond of me...

W/ Olivia

 * Lissa: Wow, Olivia! That swimsuit is something else! Talk about smoking hot! I'm surprised the ocean didn't boil clean away!
 * Olivia: This is so embarrassing... I wish the ground would just swallow me up...
 * Lissa: Um... The idea was to build your confidence, not make you worse!
 * Olivia: Please! I'm begging you! Stop looking at me!
 * Lissa: Oh, man... Hey, but it wasn't all bad, right? I mean, those brigands were gawking so hard, we beat them easily!
 * Olivia: That is something, I suppose...
 * Lissa: It's just a shame that none of your cast-offs fit me, huh? You bought so many swimsuits, I was sure at least one would be my size. I don't get it. We're pretty much the same build and everything...
 * Olivia: W-well, it's just...you're still growing, you know? I mean, every girl is...different, right? I'm sure you'll mature in all the right ways!
 * Lissa: And what do you mean by that, exactly?! Come on, spit it out!
 * Olivia: Er...nothing! It's just that...um...
 * Lissa: Better hurry up, before I start maturing in all the WRONG ways!
 * Olivia: N-no, I was just trying to say that...you're more like...like Emmeryn! Y-you're developing more of her grace and charm with each passing day!
 * Lissa: ...Oh. You really think so?
 * Olivia: YES! I sure do!
 * Lissa: Weird. Everyone's always told me that Emmeryn and I are nothing alike...
 * Olivia: Really? Oh, uh... Well, wh-what do they know, right?
 * Lissa: Bah. Who cares, anyway? So what if we're different? That just means I have to find my own path! And in the end, I might grow up to be even better than her!
 * Olivia: That...that's right! And I just know you will! (Yeesh... How did this end up with ME having to reassure HER?)

W/ Vaike

 * Vaike: *Pant* *huff* *gasp* Can't believe...the Vaike is havin' to...run laps in the sand like this... Who woulda thought Frederick could be...so punishing...
 * Frederick: I don't recall ordering you to take a break! Keep those feet moving, soldier! One and two and one and two!
 * Vaike: Eh?! How are ya always...right behind me? How do ya...keep up in that armor?
 * Frederick: You're wasting valuable breath, soldier! One and two and one and two! Keep it up!
 * Vaike: But this sand's so damn...deep...*gasp* I can barely lift my...legs...
 * Frederick: Precisely. Running through sand punishes the muscles of the lower body. This is why it presents such a fantastic training opportunity.
 * Vaike: But...*huff*...dammit, it...hurts... I can barely...move...
 * (Vaike collapses)
 * Vaike: Urgh... Just gonna...rest for a second... The Vaike's...*pant*...hit his limit... *Wheeze*
 * Frederick: It is only by pushing beyond one's limit that new strength can be attained. You do wish to become stronger, do you not? Then you cannot waste this opportunity. Back at it, soldier!
 * Vaike: B-but I've been running for hours! I must be plenty strong by...now... *Pant* *gasp* P-please... The Vaike's beggin' you... Just lemme...take a quick dip... Between the sweat and the sun, I'm gonna shrivel up and die here!
 * Frederick: *Sigh* Very well. I suppose it can't be helped.
 * Vaike: R-really...?! You're gonna...let ol' Teach cool off in the drink...?
 * Frederick: But of course. If you'll just strap these weights on for me first...
 * Vaike: Oh, for the love of the gods!

W/ Kellam

 * Frederick: Take the prisoner away. See that justice is done.
 * Soldier: Yes, sir! Thank you for your help, sir!
 * (Soldier leaves)
 * Frederick: ...... It is you they should be thanking, Kellam. You certainly have my gratitude.
 * Kellam: Oh, I...I didn't really...
 * Frederick: Please. No need for modesty. You caught the culprit single handed. Had he escaped, it would have been a huge embarrassment for us all.
 * Kellam: W-well, I'm just happy to have been useful for once...
 * Frederick: And yet...I still cannot fathom how you apprehended the rogue with such ease...
 * Kellam: Well, that's... It's like I was saying... I don't have much of a presence... I was standing outside the tent, and he came out and walked right past me. He was looking real shifty, making sure he wasn't being followed... But he didn't seem to notice me at all, so I just walked up and grabbed him...
 * Frederick: Intriguing. This lack of presence of yours is beginning to seem like a rare talent!
 * Kellam: I...I dunno about that...
 * Frederick: And this is not the first time. Did a bandit not once infiltrate the Shepherds' garrison? It was you who captured him, was it not?
 * Kellam: Oh, right. Yeah, I was napping in the barracks, and the guy didn't see me...v
 * Frederick: Then we Shepherds have had reason to give thanks for your gift more than once. Kellam, may your gods-given lack of presence continue to protect us all!
 * Kellam: Um... Thanks? Never thought I'd hear anyone talk about it quite like that...

W/ Libra

 * Frederick: *Sigh*
 * Libra: Frederick?
 * Frederick: Ohhhh... *Sigh*
 * Libra: Frederick? Are you okay? Frederick!
 * Frederick: *Sigh* Chrom... Lissa...
 * Libra: I call his name, but he doesn't hear... I shake him, but he doesn't respond... How am I supposed to get through to him? ...... There's nothing else for it, is there? Gods, forgive me for the sin I am about to commit...
 * Frederick: O-ow! What in the—?! Oh, it's you, Libra. Why would you strike me so fiercely? What are you thinking?!
 * Libra: I might ask you the same thing. Is it wise to be moping listlessly around the battlefield like this?
 * Frederick: Perhaps not... But I have been trying to spend time apart from my masters as you advised. And the harder I try, the more preoccupied with them I become.
 * Libra: Hmm. Your condition is worse than I thought. We may have too look into a more gradual course of treatment...
 * Frederick: But it cannot wait! The longer it takes, the more their contempt for me will deepen!
 * Libra: You needn't worry about that. I discussed the matter with them earlier—in a roundabout way, of course.
 * Frederick: Y-you did?! And what did you learn?
 * Libra: I sensed no anger or contempt at all. I did perceive a desire for you to temper some of your more...excessive behavior. But for the most part, they seemed to accept and appreciate your devotion.
 * Frederick: Truly, my lords are too kind. But it seems I must learn to resist the urge to...debase myself.
 * Libra: Only once you learn to respect yourself will they be able to truly respect you.
 * Frederick: I understand. Henceforth, I shall strive to serve milord and lady without doing myself a disservice.
 * Libra: I think that would be best for everyone.
 * Frederick: Then it is decided! And the first to know about it shall be my beloved masters! Chrom! Lissa! I'm coming!
 * Libra: *Sigh* It looks like working through this may take a bit longer than I anticipated...

W/ Donnel

 * Donnel: If yer still fixin' to tell me more about bein' a bigwig, Virion, I'd sure like to hear it!
 * Virion: Ah, but of course, I promised to tell you of the woes of noble birth. Very well... Now, I suspect you have often bemoaned the idleness of the ruling classes, yes?
 * Donnel: Sure have! We simple folk work doggone hard, from cock's crow to sundown! But ain't one of us could afford to buy so much as a single crown or carriage or...
 * Virion: I sympathize deeply, of course. But do you really think we nobles are without hardship?
 * Donnel: Hardship like hoein' turnips till yer back's fit to break, ya mean? I sorta doubt it...
 * Virion: As I have stated, I am sympathetic to the daily tribulations of the peasantry. But you must understand—we nobles spend our days with our very lives on the line!
 * Donnel: Yer very lives, huh?
 * Virion: Indeed. We are expected to protect our subjects, no matter what the cost. In times of conflict, we stand on the front lines with our weapons drawn. We must be a shield to protect the people. And at times, we must die for them. This is our duty. And it is one we may neither shirk nor shrink from. Such is the burden of nobility.
 * Donnel: I reckon I can see what yer gettin' at... So yer lives may look mighty easy, but all that lollygaggin' comes at a price?
 * Virion: Precisely, my dear Donnel! I am so pleased that you understand!
 * Donnel: So yer like heroes, huh? Chargin' to the rescue when the common folk are in danger! Well, shuck my corn, I oughta tell ya that makes me feel a dang sight safer. It's mighty nice knowin' yer all set to throw down yer life for me at the drop of a hat!
 * Virion: P-pardon me?! Why would I—?!
 * Donnel: Why, 'cause I'm a lowly, hard-workin' peasant, and yer a big, mighty lord! Weren't ya just sayin' how it's yer duty to protect us little folks?
 * Virion: Ah, well, I should clarify that a nobleman's duty is to the peasants of his fief—
 * Donnel: Yee-haw, it sure is a load off knowin' I got my own personal bodyguard! Thanks for lookin' out for me, Yer Honor! And keep up the good work!
 * (Donnel leaves)
 * Virion: N-no, Donnel, you misunderstand, I— ...And he's gone. *Sigh* It seems we still have a few misconceptions to address...

W/ Vaike

 * Stahl: Vaike, I found it! I found my lance! See that umbrella over there? Look familiar?
 * Vaike: Huh? The brigands are usin' it as an umbrella pole? Wish I thought of that...
 * Stahl: That lance has saved countless lives! It can't be used to prop up an umbrella!
 * Vaike: Well, that's why ya gotta respect your weapon! Ya can't let it outta your sight!
 * Stahl: Huh? You're one to talk! *sigh* Anyway, what are we going to do?
 * Vaike: Whaddya think we're gonna do? Bash some heads and get it back, of course!
 * Stahl: I guess so. I'd never be able ot look you in the eye again otherwise...
 * Vaike: Huh? What's this got to do with the Vaike?
 * Stahl: Come on, Vaike! Don't tell me you've forgotten? Don't you remember the promise we made? Right after we joined the Shepherds?
 * Vaike: Oh, that? Yeah, some sappy junk about always bein' there for each other, right?
 * Stahl: Uh, no... Has the heat gone to your head or something?
 * Vaike: Nah, ol' Teach is just messin' with ya. Of course I remember! I crossed my axe with your lance, and we vowed to become great warriors together!
 * Stahl: Exactly! So to lose the very weapon I swore upon would be to fail completely in my vow.
 * Vaike: Hey, if you're a failure for losin' a weapon once, what does that say about me?
 * Stahl: Heh. It says we both still have a long way to go...
 * Vaike: Exactly. So let's get started by moppin' up these chumps!
 * Stahl: Good point. This great warrior stuff comes one victory at a time, after all.
 * Vaike: From your lips to Naga's ears, hah! Now let's go crack some skulls!
 * Stahl: I'm right behind you!

W/ Gregor

 * Gregor: Unngh... Woe is Gregor... Feeling sick like dog from too much ice cream...
 * Stahl: You do look a bit off color there. Here, I have some medicine that might help...
 * Gregor: But why are you not also groaning in uncompromising, horrible pain? You are eating from same bucket of ice cream as Gregor! For skinny man, you have strong stomach. Maybe stomach of iron... Unfortunately, Gregor has no such iron stomach, urrrgh...
 * Stahl: Well, my mother always did say I could pack it away...
 * Gregor: Bah, if Gregor was same age as you, he could be eating twice as much ice cream! But now he is aged, and having indigestion, and feeling like taking a nap...
 * Stahl: Taking a nap?! In the middle of a fight?
 * Gregor: Gregor is old man! Is needing snoozes to be keeping up with young folks! *Yawn* See? Cannot be keeping eyes open. Ahh, Gregor is so very, very, aged...
 * Stahl: Don't be so hard on yourself—you're not THAT old. You're just...mature!
 * Gregor: Bah! Try to console Gregor as much as you like, but Gregor knows truth! He is old! Old as dirt! Soon as he finish eating, fat is instantly upon his belly!
 * Stahl: But that is... Um, maybe it's just your metabolism, or...uh...
 * Gregor: You are nice boy, but is no use. Gregor is knowing he is old and crusted. But your kindness is pleasing. We shall eat ice cream again.
 * Stahl: Sure, that sounds great! How about tomorrow?
 * Gregor: Tomorrow?! Oy! Gregor is still reeling from today's bucket! *Sigh* If only Gregor was still spritely spring chicken of years past...

W/ Lissa

 * Lissa: *Sigh* The swimsuit looked SO good when the merchant showed it to me... But when I put it on, it was all baggy and loose, and it looked TOTALLY ridiculous.
 * Sumia: I'm disappointed with mine too. I swear it didn't look THAT small at the stall! It doesn't matter how cute it is—if you can't wear it in public, what's the point?
 * Lissa: Yeah, I know exactly what you mean! Unlike me, though, I'll bet you look good in almost everything you wear. I couldn't help noticing what a great figure you have when we were changing. I would KILL for curves like yours! What size are you, by the way?
 * Sumia: Gosh! I never thought I'd be having this conversation with a princess!
 * Lissa: Aw, come on! We're friends! We can talk about this kinda stuff, can't we?
 * Sumia: Well, I guess. But a girl has to have SOME secrets, so don't go telling anyone!
 * Lissa: Oh, absolutely! Cross my heart and hope to die!
 * Sumia: Okay, lean in close. I'm going to whisper it, just in case any men are eavesdropping...
 * Lissa: Like this?
 * Sumia: Uh-huh.
 * Lissa: ...I'm waiting.
 * Sumia: ...Argh! I can't do it! It's just...not something I talk about!
 * Lissa: Oh, COME ON! You can't make me go through all that and then not tell me!
 * Sumia: I'm sorry! I know it's weird, but... Hey, wait! I just had an idea! Why don't we swap swimsuits?
 * Lissa: Huh? Why would we—? ...Ohhh, I get it! Mine's too big, yours is too small... If we trade, we'll both have suits that fit!
 * Sumia: Exactly! Now why don't we hurry up and finish this battle so we can try them on again.
 * Lissa: Sounds good to me! ...Hey, wait a second! You never answered my question!

W/ Miriel

 * Miriel: Sumia.
 * Sumia: What do you want? ...You're not here to stare at me again, are you?
 * Miriel: That won't be necessary. I have amassed all the data I require. The evidence is overwhelming. All that remains is for me to deliver my conclusion.
 * Sumia: Your...conclusion?
 * Miriel: My objective was to determine whether or not your frequent pratfalls were deliberate. The inescapable conclusion is that they are.
 * Sumia: Wha—?! No way! Y-you've made a mistake! You must have!
 * Miriel: I'm afraid not. Did I not observe you practicing your poses before a mirror earlier?
 * Sumia: *Gasp*
 * Miriel: You were plainly trying to determine the angle from which you looked most pitiable. Now, come! Confess all! The role of the bumbling clod is naught but pretense. A ruse subtly and deliberately enacted to attract the attentions of men!
 * Sumia: Miriel... Why, you... Tee hee hee hee hee... BWAH HA HA HA HA HAH! Very well! I confess! Every word you say is true! And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling experiments! My clumsiness, the silly flowre fortunes...all of them carefully calculated lies. Every bumbling pratfall, every empty-headed utterance...meant only to attract men. But don't think I'm sorry. No, not one bit! All's fair in love and war, sister. A girl has the right to use every weapon in her arsenal. EVERY ONE!
 * Miriel: ...Indeed. It is as I long suspected.
 * Sumia: And you just HAD to go and find me out, didn't you? But now you know something you weren't supposed to know... And I'm going to have to make sure no one else ever learns my secret!
 * Miriel: Wh-whatever do you m-mean?! ...What do you intend to do?!
 * Sumia: Hee hee! You're the clever one. Why don't YOU figure it out? Do you REALLY think I'm going to let you blab this to everyone in the army?
 * Miriel: B-but...surely you wouldn't...? Not that? Y-you're not the type... Ugh... Uwaaargh... M-my head is starting to spin... My vision grows blurred... I hear voices...in the distance...
 * Sumia: —iriel? —ear me? Miriel?! Miriel, are you okay?! MIRIEL?!
 * Miriel: ...WAH! Who—? What—? What just happened to me?
 * Sumia: I don't know! You said you were feeling light headed, and then you keeled over! I was so worried... It looked like you'd seen a ghost or something!
 * Miriel: You tended to me as I lay unconscious?
 * Sumia: Of course! Friends are supposed to look after each other, right?
 * Miriel: Did I...? Did I just imagine all that? About your...dissimulation?
 * Sumia: My dissimu-what? What are you talking about?
 * Miriel: Oh...heh... N-nothing at all... Please ignore me. No, of course not... How could one so guileless ever hope to maintain such an elaborate charade? Sumia, I am truly sorry I doubted you, even if it was in the midst of a feverish vision.
 * Sumia: Er, sure? But I don't know why you're apologizing... But hey, look! The color's coming back into your cheeks! You're going to be just fine.
 * Miriel: Yes, I feel much improved already. You have my gratitude, Sumia.
 * Sumia: Hey, anytime!

W/ Maribelle

 * Maribelle: Sumia! There you are. Tell me, how goes the self-improvement? I trust you've been putting my lessons into practice with great success?
 * Sumia: I've been trying to, but...to be honest, it hasn't been going all that well... Okay, it's been going horribly.
 * Maribelle: I wish I could say I was surprised...
 * Sumia: I tried to polish my armor, but I rubbed boot blacking on it by mistake... And I was so flustered about my attire that I fell and dropped an armful of lances. Oh, b-but they didn't get damaged or anything! They're just a little...sandy, is all.
 * Maribelle: *Sigh* In the field of clumsiness, you are a true innovator, my dear. It's akin to genius. But tell me, is that all that went wrong? If so, you needn't worry yourself over it. After the battle, I'll clean your armor and brush the sand from the lances.
 * Sumia: N-no! You mustn't!
 * Maribelle: But, Sumia, dear, we can't very well leave things as they are.
 * Sumia: I know! But I'll never learn if I don't clean up after my own mistakes. Please, Maribelle. Just give me a bit of time, and I'll make it all right again.
 * Maribelle: Sumia...
 * Sumia: I know I'm a complete clod, and I'm sorry if it holds things up, but pleeeeeease?
 * Maribelle: *Sigh* As you wish. It's really not my place to deny you permission, in any case. You're your own woman, after all. You must do as you see fit. I, meanwhile, must lend you moral support and what advice I may—as a friend should.
 * Sumia: ...A f-friend? Really?! You're SO kind, Maribelle!
 * Maribelle: Should you...stumble upon anything you can't handle, you need only ask for help.
 * Sumia: Got it! I'll do that for sure! Okay, I'm off! Bye!
 * (Sumia leaves)
 * Maribelle: Hee hee. She has spirit—I'll give her that. Perhaps she's not a lost cause after all... Give her a year or two, and who knows what she might accomplish!
 * Sumia: Oww! My knee! Who left this stupid coconut here?!
 * Maribelle: *Ahem* Perhaps we should make that three or four years...

W/ Virion

 * Virion: Mercy me, however did I allow myself to get caught up in such foolishness? *Sigh* Sometimes my boundless generosity surprises even myself... I must end this quickly, that I may return to the delights of paradise!
 * Lon'qu: Argh! Damn it! How do you keep hitting me?!
 * Virion: A lackluster effort, dear friend. Let us try once more.
 * Lon'qu: Owww!
 * Virion: Even practice arrows sting when they strike straight and true. Come, end this folly.
 * Lon'qu: It makes no sense! Even standing in sand, I should be able to do this!
 * Virion: Heh... Whether the sport be archery or seduction, I always hit my mark!
 * Lon'qu: How does the simpering fool always manage to— Argh!
 * Virion: My dear Lon'qu. Have you yet to see what hinders you? You lack focus, friend! You have done so from the start! It is the warm and pleasant atmosphere of the beach, I imagine. It is causing even one so strenuously uptight as yourself to relax his guard.
 * Lon'qu: What?!
 * Virion: It seems I have hit the nail on the head! Like...so!
 * Lon'qu: Yargh!
 * Virion: Surely even you have punished yourself enough by now? Shall we end this?
 * Lon'qu: ...Very well. I must train myself to stop being swayed by distractions. Tell me, how do you stay so focused in a place like this?
 * Virion: An intriguing question. I believe it is my ability to enter another mental realm. One where I am able to act appropriately, regardless of the circumstances. One must remain detached...objective... Therein lies the key.
 * Lon'qu: Interesting... Sorry to make you do this in the middle of a battle.
 * Virion: Think nothing of it. It has proved a more fruitful exercise than I imagined! We must ensure that our postbattle frolics are equally as fruitful. Shall we formulate a plan of approach for the fair maidens on the beach?
 * Lon'qu: "We"? I don't think so.
 * Virion: Oh? And why is that? Naturally you'll be joining me!
 * Lon'qu: I will?
 * Virion: Surely you don't intend to refuse me after I have assisted you so?
 * Lon'qu: Rrgh... I...I suppose not...

W/ Gaius

 * Gaius: *Yaaawn* ...Huh? Did I nod off? Shouldn't have eaten a whole cake so early in the day. That always makes me drowsy. Nothing wrong with a nice nap, but the battlefield isn't exactly the place...
 * Lon'qu: Pathetic.
 * Gaius: Blargh! Gods, Lon'qu! How long have you been standing there?!
 * Lon'qu: Long enough.
 * Gaius: Then why in the seven hells didn't you wake me?! This place is crawling with brigands!
 * Lon'qu: Relax. I've been here the whole time. You're safe.
 * Gaius: Well, if Mr. Super Swordsman says I'm safe, then I guess everything's just peachy! I'm sure I looked adorable just lying there, but somehow I doubt that's what did it. So let me ask you again—why didn't you wake me?
 * Lon'qu: I told you that sweets had their uses, didn't I?
 * Gaius: You did. And I've been waiting to find out what you meant.
 * Lon'qu: One of these uses is attracting these little fellows...
 * Gaius: What little fello—? GYAAAH! BUGS! BUUUGS! GET 'EM OFF ME!
 * Lon'qu: Beetles like these thrive in hot climates. Look how many there are!
 * Gaius: I said, get 'em off of me!
 * Lon'qu: Are you afraid? Did you not play with bugs when you were young?
 * Gaius: P-play with them?! Are you crazy?! I hate bugs! Where in the gods' names did they all come from, anyhow?
 * Lon'qu: You brought them here.
 * Gaius: M-me?!
 * Lon'qu: The scent of all that sugary trash hidden in your clothes attracted them. Beetles eat tree sap, and tree sap smells a lot like melting candy.
 * Gaius: You...you're screwing with me, right?
 * Lon'qu: Look. Look at this one with the little horns. It's like a miniature knight in armor... And this one with the pincers...a tiny swordsman wielding twin blades...
 * Gaius: Look, if you're trying to freak me out, it's working, okay? Now get lost already!
 * Lon'qu: As you wish. A shame you can't even appreciate the splendor of these beautiful creatures. I'll leave you to placate yourself with sweets like a spoiled child.
 * Gaius: Says the little boy playing with his bug collection? Please!
 * Lon'qu: ...... By the way—there'll be lots more of these little guys on the prowl come nightfall. It's sure to be quite a show. Look forward to it, bug lover.
 * (Lon'qu leaves)
 * Gaius: H-hey! Don't just leave me here! Come on! That's not funny!

W/ Miriel

 * Maribelle: Miriel! Are you all right?
 * Miriel: Yes, I'm fine. But I failed to collect any meaningful data.
 * Maribelle: It wasn't your research I was concerned about...
 * Miriel: The subjects surrounded me and subjected me to some form of primitive social ritual. They asked meaningless questions about my birth sign and place of origin. I grew tired of being addressed as "baby" and fought my way clear.
 * Maribelle: I see... Well, we can be thankful that you came away unscathed at least.
 * Miriel: Such simplistic creatures couldn't harm me if they tried.
 * Maribelle: Heh. I suppose you're right.
 * Miriel: But it seems I must reevaluate my data-gathering approach.
 * Maribelle: Perhaps I can be of assistance. May I help you with your research after the battle?
 * Miriel: I fail to see what scientific value your complaints about the heat will bring...
 * Maribelle: Hmph! That's hardly fair. You wish to see what it's like to enjoy the sun, do you not? Well, running like a ninny through sand and surf is not the only way to do it! I shall teach you a more sophisticated way to approach these tropical climes.
 * Miriel: Hmm... There may be value in such an approach. Very well—I accept your offer.

W/ Cherche

 * Panne: Cherche! Did I not tell you to keep your lizard under control? She just grasped me in her mouth and threw me into the ocean!
 * Cherche: Goodness! Did she really? Perhaps she was trying to imitate a hawk -- they sometimes try to drown their prey.
 * Panne: You think she was playing? Nonsense! The foul creature means to kill me! Who would have guessed that the taguel's greatest threat lay here in our own army?
 * Cherche: Panne, dear, don't be absurd! Your imagination is running away with you!
 * Panne: For the last time, I am not your "dear"!
 * Cherche: I apologize, Panne. But honestly, I'm sure Minerva was merely playing.
 * Panne: M-merely...!?
 * Cherche: Look at her sweet, innocent face. Why, she wouldn't hurt a fly! How could you suspect anything so foul from such a gentle creature?
 * Panne: Wouldn't hurt a fly?! You yourself said that she loves nothing more than eating rabbits!
 * Cherche: Did I? Well, she might hurt a rabbit...but certainly not a fly!
 * Panne: Ugh, I tire of your silliness. Just tell your lizard that it is not to eat its allies. Got it?
 * Cherche: Fine, fine. You heard her, didn't you, Minerva? Panne is a valued ally. And you are not to even think of eating her, understand?
 * Panne: Hmm. She seems suddenly...quieter.
 * Cherche: Well, it's more likely that you offended her than she's decided not to eat you. It's like I said-- she only ever wanted to play!
 * Panne: Well, why can she not play nicely?
 * Cherche: She wants to, but she doesn't realize her own size and strength. There aren't many more wyverns in the army for her to play with. So she has to make do with whomever she can find...
 * Panne: ...Very well. If she promises not to eat me, perhaps we can play a little.
 * Cherche: Hee hee. Thank you, Panne! And Minerva says thank you too!

W/ Virion

 * Virion: Ah, Gaius, my good man. Might I have a word?
 * Gaius: Huh? Oh. You again.
 * Virion: The very same! I was hoping we might resolve the matter of my confection.
 * Gaius: This again? Look, Your Lordship, I'm not your servant. Find another lackey!
 * Virion: Now, now, Gaius. Don't be so hasty. You have yet to hear my offer.
 * Gaius: Offer? As in...you give me something I want in exchange?
 * Virion: Precisely! You present me with a sweet, and I present you with cold, hard coin. Come now. Name your price, and we'll see if the contents of my purse are sufficient.
 * Gaius: Seven hells, but you nobles are all alike. You think money can buy you anything.
 * Virion: Well, to be fair, it has seldom failed me in the past... But tell me, Gaius: Are you always this ill tempered?
 * Gaius: Only when I'm dealing with highborn fools who think they can buy anything they like.
 * Virion: But highborn or low, where is the harm in offering value for value? You have something I want, yes? I offer to pay you, and you name your price. When someone asks a favor of you, it's only reasonable to expect something in return.
 * Gaius: All right, fine. You want one of my sweets? Then give me that drool bib of yours. I could do with one of those to keep the jam and crumbs off my clothes.
 * Virion: ...Drool bib? Are you referring to my velvet cravat? If you are, I'm afraid I must refuse. I cannot part with this.
 * Gaius: Suit yourself. Then we're done here.
 * Virion: How unfortunate... *sigh* All I really wanted was to sit down with you for a cup of tea...
 * Gaius: Huh?
 * Virion: Though we fight side by side, we've had little time to speak face-to-face. What better occasion than this to rectify such a regrettable omission? What better place than here, on this golden beach, shaded by the swaying palms...
 * Gaius: *Sigh* If that's what you wanted, why didn't you just say so?
 * Virion: Am I to take it by your tone that you would look favorably on such a proposal?
 * Gaius: ...I might.
 * Virion: Excellent! I have your word then. We'll take tea at the earliest opportunity! ...But not before we've driven away these bothersome brigands. Fair?
 * Gaius: *Sigh* All right, all right... You've talked me into it.
 * Virion: Wonderful. Then let us join forces and vanquish these foes!
 * Gaius: Right with you, Your Lordship.

W/ Tharja

 * Cordelia: Hi, Tharja. Feeling a little less self-conscious about your outfit yet?
 * Tharja: Very much so. I attached a de-shaming talisman on my back, and now I feel just fine about it.
 * Cordelia: Let me have a look... Wow. It's, uh...not very subtle.
 * Tharja: Hm? What do you mean?
 * Cordelia: Well, it's just a piece of paper with "mortification" written on it.
 * Tharja: That's how these things work. Whatever you write on them gets canceled out. I was mortified, so I wrote "mortification" and presto—no more embarrassment.
 * Cordelia: But it's right there for anyone to see! Isn't it even more mortifying walking around with the very word on your back?
 * Tharja: *Sigh* That's the whole point. NOTHING is mortifying thanks to this thing.
 * Cordelia: Oh, right. Sorry. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this... So if I were to take it off, would it stop working?
 * Tharja: My, you're a sharp one.
 * Cordelia: Interesting. Let's try it and see, shall we? Here goes...
 * Tharja: W-wait, don't—! Oh, gods, this is horrifying. Just kill me now...
 * Cordelia: I see. So now we stick it back on, and...
 * Tharja: My, it sure is hot. Why don't I throw off my cloak and take a nice dip in the sea?
 * Cordelia: And off again...
 * Tharja: Ugh, my calf is showing! Why didn't I wear a bigger cloak?
 * Cordelia: This is fascinating! Okay, let's put it back on...
 * Tharja: All right, that's enough. If you value your fingers, you won't mess with it again.
 * Cordelia: Heh. Sorry, Tharja. I...I'm only teasing your because I'm jealous. I wish I had the guts to wear something like that. You dress so wonderfully!
 * Tharja: Is that all? If that's what's bothering you, maybe I can help. We are...allies, after all.
 * Cordelia: Wow, really? I would love that! If you could show me around some boutiques, I'd be—
 * Tharja: I meant I could erase your jealousy with a curse.
 * Cordelia: O-oh... Um, let me get back to you on that...

W/ Donnel

 * Gregor: Mmm... Is very beautiful ocean... When Gregor is gazing upon blue waters, he is for short time forgetting about war.
 * Donnel: Hey there, Gregor. Speakin' of war...
 * Gregor: Ah, yes. Is ethical problem from before. Gregor has spent much time considering, but sadly, answer has not arrived...
 * Donnel: Well, I gots another question for ya. I hope ya don't think I'm bein' rude, but...yer what they call a sellsword, right? Doesn't that mean ya actually NEED wars just to put bread on the table?
 * Gregor: Unhappily, what you say is truth. But often, Gregor, too, is needing rest from bloodshed. Many times, in fact, he is thinking to himself that no more war would be good thing.
 * Donnel: Really? Even for you?
 * Gregor: Yes, even for Gregor, fearless and extremely handsome sellsword! He has been doing this job for very long time, you know? But even Gregor must eat, yes? So for coin, he does what he does the best. But now, he is very often thinking...maybe time has come for putting down sword and picking up plowshare. Of course, Gregor is also happy that in war, he has met many good friends...
 * Donnel: Well, I'll be! I didn't realize you were thinkin' of turnin' yer hand to farmin'... Y'know what? I just had me a great idea! Once this war's over, why don't ya come back and live in my village?
 * Gregor: ...Live in your village? Gregor could do this?
 * Donnel: Sure! Ya could come help out on the farm! Y'know, plowin' fields, harvestin' crops...that sorta thing.
 * Gregor: Hmm... Is nice idea, but...your village was almost destroyed by fighting, yes? Perhaps fellow villagers won't take kindly to nasty sellsword living next door...
 * Donnel: Aw, don't worry 'bout that. Us farmers always welcome an extra pair'a hands! Yer background won't matter none, and I'd vouch for ya, in any case.
 * Gregor: Hm, yes... Gregor is thinking this idea perhaps not so bad! Young Donnel is very lucky to have warm home to return to. Gregor, he not so lucky. He is like rolling stone with no place for feather in hat, yes? Anyway, Gregor is honored by little farming friend's offer. He will consider seriously.
 * Donnel: Yee-haw! Once yer mind's made up, you just let me know, friend.

W/ Lon'qu

 * Lon'qu: So this is where you've been hiding.
 * Libra: What is it now, Lon'qu? If it's about our previous conversation, I told you—
 * Lon'qu: You told me nothing. I need to know the truth behind the fire in your eyes... You can't tell me that the fury you show on the battlefield is born of mere piety. So you'll tell me the truth, or you'll face me in battle. It's as simple as that!
 * Libra: And what do you hope to gain by badgering me into fighting you? Please. You've exhausted my patience. Leave me in peace.
 * Lon'qu: ......
 * Libra: Are you really so desperate to know my past? Fine. If you insist. Although I suspect you've guessed one part of my story already.
 * Lon'qu: And what part might that be?
 * Libra: That while I now serve the gods with all my heart, I wasn't always so...priestly. My parents never wanted me, never warmed to me, and abandoned me at a young age. I can't say the childhood that followed was a happy one...
 * Lon'qu: ......
 * Libra: Perhaps some bitterness still lurks in the heart that beats beneath these robes. Maybe it's the dark shadow of my youth that manifests itself on the battlefield...
 * Lon'qu: It seems you and I really aren't so different after all.
 * Libra: Oh?
 * Lon'qu: I have a past I'm not so keen on discussing, either. I carry the same darkness as you...
 * Libra: Lon'qu...
 * Lon'qu: But you...you're strong enough to keep that darkness buried deep within you. It's that strength of will that gives you such power on the battlefield.
 * Libra: Heh... That's certainly an interpretation I'd like to believe.
 * Lon'qu: I'm glad I understand the foundation of your strength now. But I'm sorry for forcing you to speak of such painful memories.
 * Libra: There's no need to apologize. It's not a story I share with just anyone... I feel better having been able to talk about it with you.
 * Lon'qu: Then I'm glad. If there's anything you want to say, know that you can say it to me.
 * Libra: Thank you, Lon'qu.

Closing Dialogue

 * Chrom: ...Did we get them all?
 * Merchant: Did you ever! You Shepherds are lifesavers. Sorry your day at the resort turned into such a chore.
 * Chrom: It's all right. Just knowing that you're safe because of us is relaxation enough.
 * Merchant: Thanks. ...That's a little strange, but thanks. Well, the sun's starting to hang over than a wet bathing suit... Feel free to spend the rest of the day swimming or beachcombing or whatever. We could build a fire pit or have a clambake or something tonight? I'm game!
 * Chrom: That sounds like fun. I'll let the others know.
 * Merchant: Just tell me what you need, and I'll be at your service. You've earned it!
 * Chrom: Thanks, Anna. I'll do that.
 * (Chrom leaves)
 * Merchant: ...... Are they gone? All right, baby, time for me to rake in some serious moola! I knew this Snapshot tome me and my sisters invented would come in handy. Now I've got pictures of the Shepherds wearing nothing but— *snicker* People will pay an arm and a leg for these! Should I make a calendar? Hmm...
 * Frederick: Pardon me, but I had a question.
 * Merchant: AIEEE! ...You, uh, weren't listening just now, were you?
 * Frederick: No, milady... Why?
 * Merchant: Uh, no reason... Anyway, what's your question?
 * Frederick: You mentioned we could build a fire pit... Do you know where I can find some tinder?
 * Merchant: Oh! Of course. There's some right over there. Help yourself. Just make sure to leave some for the next guests.
 * Frederick: How much is "some," exactly?
 * Merchant: Um...significantly less than "all" would be a good place to start?
 * Frederick: Thank you, milady. You have been most helpful.
 * (Frederick leaves)
 * Merchant: Yeesh... That was weird. I hope he doesn't burn the whole place down. Maybe suggesting a fire pit wasn't the best idea. But then again...catching the great Frederick in an act of pyromania would make a great snapshot! Let me just grab my tome... ...Huh? Shoot, it's gone! And all my pictures with it! What could've happened to it...? ...Oh NO! There it is! It's getting washed out to sea! I must have dropped it when that oaf asked me his stupid question...
 * Frederick: I am so sorry to bother you again.
 * Merchant: ...Um, yes?
 * Frederick: I just realized I never took the time to properly express my gratitude.
 * Merchant: ...Your gratitude?
 * Frederick: Yes. You went out of your way to treat us like honored guests today. As a result, we've had a splendid time. I've never seen the others so happy. You truly have a wonderful heart.
 * Merchant: Erm...
 * Frederick: On behalf of my lord Chrom and all the Shepherds, I thank you. And now I will get out of your hair. ...Good day, milady.
 * (Frederick leaves)
 * Merchant: ...Ugh. And now my Snapshop tome is just a tiny speck on the horizon... So much for my grand enterprise. ...Oh well. All things considered, today could've ended much worse. If I can't roll in gold, I may as well take the silver lining...