Beach Brawl/Script

Opening Dialogue

• Leo: Well, then we're stuck, Xander. Azura doesn't want it.
• Xander: Then I'm out of answers. If there was only somebody who would step in...
• Ryoma: What's the matter? If Nohr is in need, you can count on Hoshido to help. Pray tell---what can I do for you my noble equals?
• Takumi: Yes, tell us. You're looking grim, Xander.
• Xander: How considerate for you and your brother to come running. We're in the possession of something that threatens to divide our family.
• Takumi: What?! Then we've come just in time.
• Ryoma: I see. Tell me what is tearing your kin asunder—I will destroy it.
• Xander: A ticket to a tropical Island. You see, Avatar is the source of our troubles yet again. He/she won the ticket in the lottery. But he/she refuses to go on vacation.
• Ryoma: How noble of our Avatar, to give up a dream vacation in the favor of duty.
• Xander: No, it's vexing to the extreme. Our Avatar has insisted that one of his/her siblings take the vacation. We can't figure out which of us should go instead—it's a huge headache.
• Ryoma: What? And now you bring Hoshido into your Nohr headache? But we are his/her family too. So I demand that he/she go on this vacation!
• Xander: You fine fool. You think that I didn't try that? Our Avatar never listens. He/she said that we've all made such terrible sacrifices—so we deserve it more.
• Ryoma: Ridiculous!
• Xander: I'm glad to hear that you agree. So, why don't YOU take the ticket?
• Ryoma: What? ME?
• Xander: I declare that this hot potato is now in YOUR court. No royal of Nohr has time for such tropical frippery. Surely, if there is anyone born for a life lazing on a beach towel...it's you.
• Ryoma: A dangerous jest—you know I am twice as busy as you, Xander. And so I pass this hot potato... to you, my brother.
• Takumi: What? I don't want to go waste my time on some beach. Make the little lord Leo go.
• Leo: And get a tan? I'd rather sear my skin to a crisp in a well-stocked forge.
• Takumi: Huh? Really?
• Xander: Then we remain at an impasse. We must ask our sisters. But I doubt Camilla would go anywhere without Avatar. And there's no telling what trouble Elise would get into there.
• Ryoma: I fear that Hinoka and Sakura will be no help on my side either. So it seems that Hoshido cannot help Nohr with this ticket predicament. I admit defeat.
• Odin: Defeat? Allow me to pluck that word out of the air before it spoils the mood.
• Niles: And allow me to lay it gently back upon your tongue, O prince.
• Leo: Niles! How many times have I told you to never speak to nobility that way?
• Laslow: My, my! Who knew that a vacation could make the royal tempers flare? I think a member of our royal family ought to take the vacation.
• Peri: I'll slaughter this hot potato so Lord Xander can go! Where is it?
• Xander: Eavesdropping, my retainers?
• Takumi: You'd never see this sort of shoddy service from our retainers.
• Hinata: You gotta go on this vacay, Lord Takumi! You deserve it way more.
• Oboro: Um...? Am I wrong. Lord Takumi? You've always wished for a trip like this.
• Takumi: Quiet, you two! What are you doing lurking in the shadows?
• Saizo: It's what we do. Ever at hand. Just in case.
• Kagero: Yes, you never know when we must fight for a ticket to paradise.
• Ryoma: Here you two are as well. Will none of you stay out of our business?
• Odin: No! There comes a time when we retainers must be your saviors. We will drag you into the stress-free abyss known as vacation!
• Peri: I'd do anything to get Lord Xander to this tropical island!
• Oboro: Me, too! For Lord Takumi!
• Kagero: Lord Ryoma needs this vacation. I would stake my life on it.
• Niles: And it would be my pleasure to cut me down for Lord Leo.
• Hinata: Then how about this? Let's fight for it on the battlefield! We'll break into teams. Last one standing wins the vacation!
• Saizo: Fight for our liege...to go on vacation?!
• Laslow: Why not? It will be splendid fun. So, it's a plan. I'll just fetch the royal sisters for this vacation brawl. Toodle-oo!
• Xander: What?! I forbid it, Laslow! You overstep yet again!...Ryoma, DO something!
• Ryoma: Unbelievable. We seem to be powerless to stop this unfurling disaster.
• Xander: Then we will have a battle that will pit Nohr against Hoshido.
• Ryoma: And brother against brother! Sister against sister! As well as—what horror—sister against brother!
• Xander: I will never forgive Avatar for starting this tropical squabble. But, if we must, let the carnage begin.

Team Ryoma

• Ryoma: Here we go! Saizo! Kagero! Steel yourselves for battle.
• Saizo: I vow as the fifth in a line of Saizos to secure your place in the sun.
• Kagero: I am prepared! I will lay down my life to ensure you lie on a beach blanket.
• Ryoma: Well, if you insist. It will be my honor to fight beside you both for this...noble cause.

Team Hinoka

• Hinoka: I wish someone—anyone—had asked me what I want first. Now I have to go to a tropical island if we win? All by myself? I think we should forfeit.
• Setsuna: Nope. We're going to win. And you're going to go.
• Hinoka: Against my wishes?
• Setsuna: Lady Hinoka...please. You work so hard. You deserve a vacation.
• Azama: Yes, Lady Hinoka. You ought to spread your wings. Fly close to this tropical sun! But mind that you tan—not burn.
• Hinoka: You two...
• Azama: And return from paradise bearing gifts for your most loyal servants.
• Setsuna: Wow. Neat. Get me a pineapple.
• Hinoka: Huh? Is that what you two are REALLY after?!

Team Xander

• Xander: Let's do this. Peri, Laslow—I will expect your best. No slacking.
• Laslow: My, my! I would never rest on my laurels, milord. I will dance circles around the competition to win your prize.
• Peri: I never lose.
• Xander: Very well. I think that says it all. You both do seem eager to win the day—more than usual.
• Peri: Of course. I live to serve. Just bring me pretty-pretty seashells!
• Laslow: And sketch a beach beauty for me! Don't skimp on the details!
• Xander: What...? Oh, never mind. To battle! But we will discuss this another time.

Team Camilla

• Camilla: A trip to the tropical island... That could be so tantalizing. But it sounds dreary if I can't take my darling Avatar with me.
• Selena: Um, yeah. You're going. Because we're going to win, no matter what.
• Beruka: Selena, you're even worse at winning than losing.
• Selena: Shut up! What do you know?! I only want the best for Lady Camilla. Don't tell me you'd be fine if someone else won this trip!
• Beruka: ... No, of course not. Lady Camilla must be the one to go.
• Camilla: Oh dear. What am I to do, caught between my devoted girls? I really don't want to go. But I'll bend—just this once. But you must both promise to battle the others into the ground.
• Beruka: All right. I'll make your vacation my personal mission.
• Selena: Like I'd lose. They might as well just give you the ticket now.
• Camilla: Oh, my. This will be fun. Come on, girls—let's get to fighting.

Team Leo

• Leo: What a colossal waste of time. Fighting for a ticket—that I won't even use? How stupid. I don't care what anyone says. We're leaving.
• Odin: What? Lord Leo, we cannot retreat! This is the most crucial battle of your life. You must reach this fabled isle. To stand there, on the sandy border between the land and sea...? To laze in bliss from dawn to dusk, skin blasted in oil...? To gaze at day's end over the eternal blue as hope drowns...? To see hope rise in the next morn, refreshed in death...?
• Niles: Milord Leo? You should go. I know you want to.
• Leo: What? I do not.
• Niles: Oh, please! I can't stand to hear you deny yourself like this. We're fighting. You're going if we win. And you're getting a tan. Even if Odin and I have to slather you in suntan lotion ourselves.
• Odin: We stand together! You will go to this isle and return a bronze god!
• Leo: Fine—I'll go just to get away from you two. Great. Now I'm going into battle irritated. You'd better cover me.
• Odin: I will have your back, Lord Leo. And your front, sides, and parallel dimensions.
• Niles: As you wish. We want to get you to paradise in one piece.

Team Elise

• Elise: Oh, wow! A ticket to paradise? All for me? But I couldn't go without you two. I just couldn't!
• Arthur: Winning this victory for you is all the time in the sun that I require!
• Effie: And I'll crush them--- which will be all the vacation I need.
• Elise: Yay! Then it's off to the beach! But you're SURE you're sure? We'd have so much fun!
• Effie: Yeah. Don't worry about us. You have a good time. That's all I want.
• Elise: Oh, Effie, if you say so...
• Arthur: I, too, say what SHE just said! With candor and volume! Lady Elise, just return with sand between your toes and a smile on your face!
• Elise: Well, thanks! Then let's get to winning that ticket. Paradise, here I come!

Battle Quotes

Ryoma

“I've been waiting for this. I won't give up. I won't give in. Now fight me. Any which way—I will still defeat you.”
—Ryoma's pre-battle quote

“The promise of that tropical island must have truly inspired you...”
—When defeated

Kagero

“Good luck. You'll need it, for I will win for Lord Ryoma's sake. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. So he deserves the ease of a beach more than anyone! Have I not convinced you to give up? Then I will take victory from you!”
—Kagero's pre-battle quote

“Ah, if only Lord Ryoma could feel a sea breeze on his shoulders...”
—When defeated

Saizo

“For Lord Ryoma, I would defeat any opponent. My liege will be going to that island. No one else—ever. So please, don't take this personally.”
—Saizo's pre-battle quote

“Lord Ryoma, forgive me. I failed to get you that ticket...”
—When defeated

Hinoka

“I see the enemy—and the enemy is YOU. I don't like all the fuss over this vacation. But my retainers are fighting for me. So I'm fighting for them. Now, get ready for defeat. I hope you don't hold a grudge.”
—Hinoka's pre-battle quote

“Well, I guess I won't be winning that ticket after all...”
—When defeated

Setsuna

“Wow. You looked so... interested in winning this. But I'm interested too... Lady Hinoka needs this trip. She really does. Maybe is you bring me a pineapple...? Oh, never mind.”
—Setsuna's pre-battle quote

“All I wanted was some fruit... Or maybe fresh crab.”
—When defeated

Azama

“Oh, my! Here you are, driven by worldly concerns. Allow me to enlighten you—by taking that concern away. Lady Hinoka will be winning that ticket, no matter what. Hmm? Does my devotion to my liege surprise you so? Well, we bring her strife and joy in equal measures. And so, the balance of life is preserved for another day. Now, let's begin.”
—Asama's pre-battle quote

“Oh, my! The weight of this vacation... has been thrown all out of balance...”
—When defeated

Takumi

“A tropical island? Dare I dream...? The sun, the sand, the... HUH?! You didn't hear that! Did you? I'm only fighting because... well, because they're making me!”
—Takumi's pre-battle quote

“...Fine. You got me. I really did want to hit that beach.”
—When defeated

Hinata

“You want to fight over that ticket? Don't make me laugh! But this huge brawl is a dream come true...for me. So thanks for coming—and don't take it too hard when you lose!”
—Hinata's pre battle quote

“Aw, I wanted to win that ticket for Lord Takumi so much...”
—When defeated

Oboro

“I'll do my best. And my best is going to be plenty good here! I'm going to win that prize for Lord Takumi, no matter what. Everyone is my enemy—until I win him the ticket. Don't take it too hard. I'm going to beat everyone today!”
—Oboro's pre-battle quote

“How could I let down Lord Takumi this badly...?”
—When defeated

Sakura

“Hmm? Must we battle over this? Well, the truth is that I really wasn't willing to do this. But then I heard about all the fruit on the island! So I'm sorry. But I have to feast upon all that yummy stuff!”
—Sakura's pre-battle quote

“I suppose I'm just not meant to go...”
—When defeated

Hana

“I won't lose! that ticket to paradise is meant for Lady Sakura. Of course, I'll be lonely while she's off having fun. But she's my liege and best friend. So she's GOING.”
—Hana's pre-battle quote

“I failed you, Sakura... Maybe someone will bring back... souvenirs.”
—When defeated

Subaki

“Let's get started. I need to win that ticket for Lady Sakura. Besides, I've already planned the perfect getaway for her. So you can understand why my team needs to win, right?”
—Subaki's pre-battle quote

“I guess that island has stoked your fire more than mine...”
—When defeated

Xander

“We meet again—and now over this troublesome vacation. I hope nobody gets seriously hurt in these battles. But I hate to see my own retainers get injured in all this. And so, let's finish this business!”
—Xander's pre-battle quote

“I've lost? Well then, I hope the victor enjoys the trip.”
—When defeated

Laslow

“My, my! I can only imagine the sights on display up and down the beach. Lord Xander would be such a fortunate fellow to see such delights. First things first, I need to put a stop to your nonsense. Only then can Lord Xander relax. And my, does he need to!”
—Laslow's pre-battle quote

“I was hoping Lord Xander...would tell me all...about those tropical sights.”
—When defeated

Peri

“I never lose! Never, never! Lord Xander will win. And I heard this island has pretty-pretty seashells. He's going to bring some back for me. And you're not going to stop him!”
—Peri's pre-battle quote

“Waaah! I wanted those seashells SO badly!”
—When defeated

Camilla

“You're so cute—putting up such a good fight over this! Normally, I'd never go on a trip without my dear Avatar. But my retainers begged and begged and begged... They really want me to go. And who am I to deny them?”
—Camilla's pre battle quote

“What a pity. But then again, I really didn't want to go without... him/her”
—When defeated

Selena

“No way you are going to win! That ticket is OURS. No one will turn heads on that island like our Lady Camilla. That beach will be her battlefield. She'll reign victorious! Now, get ready to lose!”
—Selena's pre-battle quote

“This stinks! Why do I have to lose to a jerk like you?!”
—When defeated

Beruka

“Well, my mission is to get that ticket for lady Camilla. So I will not fail.”
—Beruka's pre-battle quote

“I guess I'm not the best at this kind of mission...”
—When defeated

Leo

“... I have no interest in tropical islands. Or that ticket. But my retainers are giving their all, so I suppose I must too. Should we give this our all? Hmm, or not? Let's find out.”
—Leo's pre-battle quote

“Bon voyage to the victor, I guess.”
—When defeated

Niles

“Here you are. And here I am. And here WE are. Sounds like the start of a good time to me. I'll admit that Lord Leo has no interest in this vacation. But really—forcing him to go is the whole point. Fun, don't you think? Now, let's continue our escapade. You and I—right now.”
—Niles's pre-battle quote

“Well, that was less than satisfying.”
—When defeated

Odin

“I see all! And I see one thing MOST of all! Lord Leo—on that beach! And you, kindred seeker of tickets...you and I will fight over fate. There is no one more worthy than Lord Leo for this honor. What? Did I hear you mutter that Lord Leo doesn't want to go? Stuff that mutter back where it belongs! Let's brawl!”
—Odin's pre-battle quote

“Has that ticket...slipped out of Lord Leo's hands...?”
—When defeated

Elise

“Yay! Is this a fun party? Who wouldn't want to go to this tropical island, right? The sun! The beach! So much glamour I can't stand it! And going all by myself—that's beyond exciting! Come on! Let's battle so I can start packing for my trip!”
—Elise's pre-battle quote

“Aw, I lost? Oh, well. At least someone will be able to go!”
—When defeated

Effie

“Um, how many people have you taken out so far? Most, I hope. That will make it easier for me to win this for Lady Elise. Let's get this over with. I don't even know who else I have to smash.”
—Effie's pre-battle quote

“Sorry, Lady Elise... I wanted to win that ticket for you myself...”
—When defeated

Arthur

“In the name of justice—this ticket will go to Lady Elise! There is nothing more crucial than a tropical fiesta. Am I unlucky? Yes! But you cannot overcome my conviction. Now, let us resolve who is truly worthy of a moment in the sun!”
—Arthur's pre-battle quote

“Has this fiesta been snatched from my Lady Elise...?”
—When defeated

Closing Dialogue

Team Ryoma

• Ryoma: The battle is ours. Well done, my loyal retainers.
• Saizo: We are unworthy of your praise. Our win is due to your leadership.
• Kagero: Still, an exhausting battle. But the ticket is now yours, Lord Ryoma. I wish you safe travels.
• Ryoma: Thanks to you both. I promise to make the most of my relaxing time there. Please, watch over everything in my absence.

[Inside the castle]

• Saizo: It's been a few days since Lord Ryoma left for his vacation. I am glad that we earned his praise for helping him win that ticket. But it's been unnerving to be separated from the lord that I am sworn to protect.
• Kagero: Saizo—I bring a message from Lord Ryoma.
• Saizo: What?! How did it reach here without ME hearing about it first?
• Kagero: Just listen—it was delivered by a merchant known as Anna. He entrusted her with a letter and a picture of himself at the island.
• Saizo: I suppose you opened it already?
• Kagero: Absolutely not, and I resent you for saying so, Saizo. We won that ticket together, so we should open this together.
• Saizo: Understood. I stand corrected. Now, let's open at once...What the?!
• Kagero: Lord Ryoma! What have you gotten yourself into?!

[CG image]

• Saizo: What's Lord Ryoma doing? Drowning? No—diving.
• Kagero: It seems so. Let's read his letter..."Loyal retainers, I was informed that swimming in the sea is relaxing. But one minute into waves, and I find it all too dull. But I made the most of it. Thus, this." Well, it seems that our Lord Ryoma is keeping up with is combat training.
• Saizo: Amazing. He's seized four fishes with his bare hands.
• Kagero: A slippery challenge. Especially when you consider that fish are very aware creatures. You could sooner catch dandelion seeds in the wind than fish. And yet our lord snatches fish by the fistful.
• Saizo: Lord Ryoma...what I wouldn't give to have seen this in action. Only you could teach schools of fish a lesson in sea combat. But, Kagero—I fear he has failed in his mission to find relaxation.
• Kagero: Wait. There is more to his letter. He writes that after he emerged victorious from the wave...he collapses in exhaustion on the beach and finds it a day well spent. Ah! Then Lord Ryoma lies there until night and marvels at the stars! He writes of it as "relaxing as relaxing can be."
• Saizo: Good to hear it.
• Kagero: Oh! He adds that he is having those fish dried to bring back to us. He writes "That way, you can have a taste of my tropical victories."
• Saizo: What?! He wrote that? I am not worthy of my lord's favor. Bur I will accept it, of course. We are blessed to serve him.
• Kagero: Yes. I agree. This dried fish is such frank expression of his favor.
• Saizo: Hey Kagero—don't let this get to your head. Now, what do you say we double our training until Lord Ryoma returns?
• Kagero: Hmm. You never cease to be disagreeable, do you? And I propose that we triple our training. We must be ready to serve our lord the moment he returns.
• Saizo: Shall we get started?
• Kagero: Yes! While Lord Ryoma relaxes, we will sharpen our steel. Though I am sure as we speak, he is making the sea his battlefield.

Team Sakura

• Sakura: We did it! We won! So many thanks go to the both of you.
• Subaki: Glad to be of service. Think nothing of it, please. I'll be sure to get you your vacation itinerary before you leave.
• Hana: You put up a good fight, Lady Sakura. Now, enjoy your trip!
• Sakura: Thank you so very much. If only you two could accompany me... But I promise that I'll try to have a good time on my own.

[Inside the castle]

• Hana: I don't know why I've been so on edge since Sakura left. I guess I'm so used to being at her side, helping with whatever she needs.But I hope she's having fun... eating tropical treats...
• Subaki: Caught you in the nick of time. What woud people say if they heard you?
• Hana: Ew, it's you. What's so wrong with what I was saying, Subaki?
• Subaki: You don't know? We have a line we must never cross. We are loyal retainers, not sad puppy dogs. Remain professional.
• Hana: Excuse me? Are you trying to start something? I can be sad that she's not here. Aren't you?!
• Subaki: Now, now--let's keep calm. Besides, don't be mean, or I might not show you what I have here.
• Hana: Paper. Very exciting.
• Subaki: It's a letter from Lady Sakura.
• Hana: What? When did it get here?
• Subaki: Just a moment ago. It was delivered by the most winsome woman. Anna, I believe was her name. A merchant. She said that our lovely lady included a picture too.
• Hana: Hey, you opened it!
• Subaki: Yep, but just to verify what it was. Then I came to find you.
• Hana: Likely story. But thank you, if it's true.
• Subaki: You're welcome. Now, let's take a gander at the picture, shall we?

[CG image]

• Hana: Oh, just look at her! Lady Sakura seems so happy.
• Subaki: Of course. I planned her whole trip, right down to that dessert. I found a place that serves a fruit parfait that is unparalleled! And she is eating it. That's my doing, right there.
• Hana: No way. You can't take credit for some dessert in a picture.
• Subaki: Yes, I can. Did you not notice how busy I was before she left? Look--the proof is right here in her letter. "Thank you for planning every detail, Subaki. The parfait was sublime."
• Hana: But when did you find time for... for... everything? Oh, never mind. I'm just happy that she's happy.
• Subaki: Of course, aren't we all? But there's one detail in that picture that bothers me. Look, there.
• Hana: At what?
• Subaki: Her beach garment. That is not what I ordered to be delivered to her. I picked out something with a tasteful floral print. The person who took my order must have gotten it wrong.
• Hana: Hee hee hee...
• Subaki: Pray tell--what's so funny? Did YOU have something to do with this travesty?
• Hana: You bet I did. I gave that swimsuit to Lady Sakura before she left. And you picked out a tasteful floral print, Subaki? You'd dress our lady in a tablecloth? You have to admit that she looks pretty as a snowflake there.
• Subaki: I...I agree. Oh, what is this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach...? Failure?
• Hana: Get used to it, Subaki!
• Subaki: Well, no--I won't.
• Hana: Come on, let me have this small victory.
• Subaki: Just read this part of the letter.
• Hana: What, does she heap more praise on you? Fine, I'll read it... "This island has been such a delight. I think of you both--how much you'd love it here. I will never forget how hard you both fought to get me here. You both are near to my heart. Thank you." And then she signs it... Sakura.
• Subaki: You see? Accolades for both of us Now, let's set aside our little rivalry and smile for her sake. It is, after all, what she'd want.
• Hana: Maybe you have a point. Let's call a truce--at least until Lady Sakura is back.
• Subaki: Of course. She mustn't learn of this. It would mar her memory of the trip.
• Hana: That's the first thing today you've said that makes any sense. Oh! I can't wait until she's back to tell us about her perfect trip!

Team Xander

• Xander: Well done, you two. The other teams have been defeated. Victory is ours.
• Laslow: Thank you, milord. Hear that, Peri? Such praise is music to my ears.
• Peri: Thank you, Lord Xander. That was the spree of my dreams.
• Xander: Then I feel less guilty about profiting from all your hard work, you two. Now, excuse me while I make use of this ticket to the tropics.

[Inside the castle]

• Peri: Seems like Lord Xander has been gone forever. He'd better be having fun. Because I'm getting... I'm getting... SO LONELY!
• Laslow: Peri, what's wrong?
• Peri: I'm... I'm... Laslow... I don't like this feeling at all! I miss Lord Xander! When's he back?
• Laslow: Well, I'm not certain. It can't be too much longer. And cheer up——I'm still here, my dear. Say, Peri. You and I don't often get the chance to socialize. How about we get a spot of tea?
• Peri: NO-NO-NO!
• Laslow: Harsh retort, and uncalled for! But I think I can restore you to your usual sunny disposition. What do you think I've got in my hand here?
• Peri: Huh? A letter?
• Laslow: Why, yes! A letter from Lord Xander.
• Peri: What?! How?! When?!
• Laslow: Please, my dear——if I can get a word in edgewise? A traveling merchant by the name of Anna just stopped by. What a vision she was. My eyes were bewitched by her beauty! But I digress. She ran into our lord on this tropical island. Anna not only delivered his letter, but she took a picture of him too. A letter from our lord will be balm of our loneliness.
• Peri: What? Were you lonely too?
• Laslow: Wha——? I meant to say, you were lonely, and I was worried for your loneliness.
• Peri: Yay! You're lonely! You're lonely! It's like we're twins.
• Laslow: My, my. I think not. Still, I have felt a twinge of melancholy since your lord left us. But enough wallowing! Let's open the letter——and see the picture too. This Anna said Lord Xander cut a very fine figure. Whatever did she mean?

[CG image]

• Peri: Look at that!
• Laslow: I suppose there's not a man alive who surpasses that. But what is that inelegant thing strapped to his arm? Does it not appear to be, Lilith?
• Peri: What? Hey, it is. A Lilith water toy, anyway. Someone must have made him take it with him into the water. I forgot that he can't swim.
• Laslow: Uh, pardon?
• Peri: Whoa, you never heard? He can't even dog paddle. He's really good at sinking though.
• Laslow: Well, I guess that explains the expression on his face. He looks piqued.
• Peri: That's our Lord Xander. Going into the water when he shouldn't. Always pushing himself!
• Laslow: Hmm? Aside from this letter, there appears to be a list here... Ah! A tally of seashells! I wonder why he's gone to such trouble.
• Peri: Yes! It's a list for me. Of all the seashells I wanted. Look at that. He made notes next to each kind of shell... Color. Luster. Scientific name. Why'd he do all that? I just said I wanted a bunch of pretty shells.
• Laslow: My, my! There's a list for me too. Of the beauties of the beach. How curious, these notes he wrote beside their names. Their professions. Family heritage. Aspirations in life. How... thorough. I fret that Lord Xander spent more time on research than relaxation.
• Peri: No, look at the letter. He writes that he's having a good time.
• Laslow: Oh, good. Will you please read onward, Peri?
• Peri: Yep, there's not much... "Greetings, Peri and Laslow. I have gained much from my time here. I must thank you both for pushing me outside my zone of comfort. My knowledge of the world has increased. Please, do your best to represent me well until I make my return. Laslow, keep the flirting at a minimum. Peri, restrain your tears. Both of you, find time to train. Until next we meet. Lord Xander."
• Laslow: ... How efficient. Equal measures of praise and reprimand.
• Peri: ... *sniffle* Waaaaah!
• Laslow: P-Peri? Did not Lord Xander write that you must hold your tears?
• Peri: I...I...can't! He made time to think of us! I'm...happy!
• Laslow: I suppose you're right. If nothing else, he's consistent. His smile may mean flavor or that one is about to get a tongue-lashing. Oh, my. Now I'm going to shed a tear. How awful.
• Peri: What? No, Laslow. If you cry too, Lord Xander will be upset.
• Laslow: Oh, Peri... It's true. Your words are pearls of wisdom. Let us both smile.
• Peri: Smile? You got it. How about we grab that cup of tea?
• Laslow: Thanks, my dear. That is just what the doctor ordered. We must restore ourselves until our lord returns. Why, what would he do once he get got back... if we weren't causing him a word of trouble?

Team Camilla

• Camilla: That's everyone? It was hardly a challenge at all.
• Selena: Yes, an easy victory. At least you'll get something for your trouble, Lady Camilla.
• Beruka: Mission accomplished--the ticket is yours.
• Camilla: Thank you. Your devotion is what matters most. Now, off I go on my little trip. Be good, you two.

[Inside the castle]

• Beruka: ... What do I do, without Lady Camilla here to give me missions? We secured that ticket for her. And then...what? She was pleased. But I...? Ugh. I've had nothing to do.
• Selena: Found you, Beruka!
• Beruka: What is it, Selena? You look ready to explode!
• Selena: I am! I've got great news!
• Beruka: Tell me--there's a mission for me?! Someone to attack?!
• Selena: Huh? Why would that be great news? I wouldn't run here for that anyway.
• Beruka: Then what could be SO exciting?
• Selena: How about a letter from Lady Camilla? Someone just delivered it. Some merchant named Anna.
• Beruka: Redhead maybe?
• Selena: Did you see her? Wait--what did you do Beruka? Out with it!
• Beruka: All right, I may have seen her. She was stalking me. So I chucked an axe at her. That sent her packing.
• Selena: That figures. Letter comes from Lady Camilla...and you chasse it off. But I've got it now, and that merchant said there's a picture inside.
• Beruka: I see. Well, there had better be a mission in that envelope.
• Selena: Yes, yes. Maybe there is. Let's just open it already!

[CG image]

• Selena: Wow! Lady Camilla is stunning. Seeing her really enjoy herself... That makes all this worth the trouble. I'm a bit jealous, though.
• Beruka: Huh? Jealous?
• Selena: Aren't you? I mean, look at how much fun she's having!
• Beruka: No, looking at that picture, only one word comes to mind. Danger.
• Selena: You can't be serious.
• Beruka: Dead serious.
• Selena: Well, then tell me--what are you seeing that I'm not? Even Lady Camilla is at ease on that beach! Oh! I get it! You think there's poison in her drink? Ha! Am I right?
• Beruka: Hmm? You're so far off that I can't even believe it.
• Selena: Huh? Then what?
• Beruka: All right, I'll tell you. She's got her back turned to the ocean. The waves might look pretty, but danger lurks under them.
• Selena: There she is looking so pretty--and you're worrying about the ocean?!
• Beruka: I see. You're letting yourself be distracted. But I won't let my guard down.
• Selena: Shut up! She's perfectly safe. Besides, she sent us a letter. So she has to be fine. Here, listen to this...
• Beruka: Does she have a mission for me?
• Selena: Ha! You and your missions. Just pay attention... "My dear, adorable retainers! I owe my luxury to you. I do nothing but sip fuzzy nectar beverages all day long. Only your loyalty is sweeter to me. Thinking of you both... Camilla. And PS, my dearest ones, I have gifts for both of you."
• Selena: Isn't Lady Camilla the best? She's always thinking of us!
• Beruka: Don't know. Is she the best? I don't have sufficient information. But there's no kinder liege. We can't let our guard down. We have to protect her from any and all harm.
• Selena: Beruka... Well, fine. You're right. We need to protect her--no matter what.
• Beruka: That picture has me worried. She's out in the open without her armor on. Any assassin could come swimming by.
• Selena: Yikes! You're more obsessed than usual today. She's on vacation. We're on vacation too! Stop worrying. Just think about the gifts she's bringing home.
• Beruka: Hmm? Oh, yes. Maybe a venom from an island snake? Or the juice of a toxic fruit? Something nice that I could use to poison my weapons.
• Selena; You're hopeless. I bet she's bringing me a necklace made from seashells! Something cute! Ah, I just can't wait for Lady Camilla to come home.

Team Leo

• Leo: Well, we won. How awful.
• Odin: The ticket is yours, Lord Leo. And now, let your spirit be reforged in the scorching furnace of paradise!
• Niles: Milord Leo? Promise me you'll wring every last drop of pleasure from this trip.
• Leo: Augh! You monsters. Never in my life have I wanted something less. Fine, I surrender I'll go. Don't get into any weird trouble while I'm gone. Or I'll have your heads.

[Inside the castle]

• Niles: That look of disgust on Lord Leo's face as he left... So exquisite—but the delight has nearly worn off since he's been gone. I can only picture the torments he's endured on that island. Witnessing all those fine forms, tanned to perfection on the beach. The salty sea, running in rivlets as one emerges from the waves. Sand clinging. To everyone. Everywhere. Oh, yes. And then—
• Odin: Stop right there, villain! Not another word!
• Niles: What's this? An eavesdropper? How long have you been lingering at my eaves, Odin?
• Odin: Too long, Niles. Now I need to plug my ears with beeswax!
• Niles: I am merely trying to envision the danger Lord Leo is in. The sun alone—so hot. I've heard, that he may be at risk of a burn.
• Odin: Oh really? All you say is so strange. I can't always make sense of you. Anyway, I came to deliver news of a parchment newly arrived from paradise. It was borne in the hands of a maiden whose locks were licks of fire. Alone in her quest for correspondence, she made her way here, and—
• Niles: Oh, please! Out with it!
• Odin: Fine, fine. We got a letter from Lord Leo. A merchant named Anna came all this way just to deliver it to us.
• Niles: Why couldn't you just say so? And you slander the way I speak. Pot, kettle, black.
• Odin: What? I just state the facts, you strangest of murkmongers! Anyway, this Anna says there's a picture inside of Lord Leo.
• Niles: Intriguing. Open the envelope.
• Odin: Yes! Let us commence the opening. Envelope, I command you... Reveal your truth!

[CG Image]

• Niles: Revealing, yes. More than any of us could have hoped.
• Odin: No! Our lord is torment! How the sweat drips from his face! He slakes his desperate thirst! He cloaks himself against the longing gazes of others!
• Niles: What's this? Your words, Odin, are like a page torn out of my book. Do tell, ARE we on the same page?
• Odin: No. But I will admit... You did foretell of Lord Leo's agony. Are you... a prophet?
• Niles: Don't be silly. I just know him better than you. I've served him for a long time. He has difficulties with having fun.
• Odin: What? How could I not know that? I bow to your skills, sir. I served Lord Leo for only a sliver of a hair's breadth of eternity.
• Niles: Hmm. Odin...
• Odin: Oh, OK. Not for very long. Happy? Anyway, turn your predictive power on the letter. What's in it?
• Niles: As you wish. I think I know what he'd do on vacation.
• Odin: Oh? Let's hear it.
• Niles: Well, he wouldn't go in the water. He hates tanning. He probably stopped going out during the day. He leaves his bungalow only at night.
• Odin: Whoa! That's just what he writes. Right down to the bungalow! Can you tell me what he's drinking in the picture?
• Niles: Yes. At least I can guess. Freshly squeezed tomato juice. He does love a ripe tomato.
• Odin: Right again! Chilling, Niles. You know our lord TOO well.
• Niles: I'll take that as a compliment. What else does he write about? Tasks for us while he's away?
• Odin: No. Just some thanks.
• Niles: Thanking us?
• Odin: Yes! He says the island is not as bad as he thought. And he says it hasn't been an absolute waste of time. In closing, he writes "thanks."
• Niles: How surprising, even for me. I'll have to remember this. Our Lord Leo has secret love of beaches—if only by night.
• Odin: I see all! But I never saw that coming. Still, don't forget that he sent his brief "thanks" to both of us.
• Niles: Oh, I promise you... I'll never forget that.
• Odin: Now, the darkness whispers... I hints that we must prepare for his return. We must throw wreaths at his feet, his brows—from head to toe. We will celebrate our lord's great victory over vacation. Even if he brings us no souvenirs!

Team Elise

• Elise: Woo! We did it. We won, thanks to the both of you!
• Arthur: Lady Elise, there is no one more deserving of this than you!
• Effie: That was easy. Now, I hope that you'll enjoy this trip, my lady.
• Elise: You know it! I'd like it more if we could all go, though. But I promise to bring back some nice gifts. Bye!

[Inside the castle]

• Effie: I wonder what Lady Elise is doing right now. And I hope she comes back soon. Kind of quiet around here.
• Arthur: Ha ha ha! Never fear, Arthur is here to break that silence!
• Effie: Yeah, good job. But, Arthur...? Why are your, er, you know... your flanks covered in mud?
• Arthur: Well, I was running. And then there was some mud. And then a passing hawk dropped a banana peel. And so on. The usual. Back to the topic at hand! I have something to show you! Feast your eyes on THIS!
• Effie: Your spare pants?
• Arthur: Ah! No! This--- no, not that either. Hold on. Where'd I put it? Ta-da! One letter from Lady Elise!
• Effie: From Lady Elise? Give it!
• Arthur: Effie! You'll rip the paper. We must hold it with the tongs of caution!
• Effie: Sure. But how'd you get this?
• Arthur: Oh! When I was kettle-deep in mud, a kind merchant happened by. Anna, I think was her name. She offered me a helping hand. And lucky coincidence, she said she'd come with a letter from Lady Elise. Anna said our fair lady was worried about our well-being.
• Effie: Worried, about us? We're not worthy of Lady Elise.
• Arthur: It's true! We are not! Nevertheless, Lady Elise has sent a letter. And a picture too. Now, how about we open this up and take a look?
• Effie: Yes. Seems like the thing to do.

[CG Image]

• Effie: Good! Looks like Lady Elise is having fun.
• Arthur: Ha ha! What a smile. But it brings a tear to my eye thinking how long we've been apart! And I think her beach attire is quite heroic!
• Effie: She IS adorable. I guess that brawl was really all worth it.
• Arthur: Justice prevails! And cuteness triumphs!
• Effie: I know Lady Elise was sad that she couldn't take us. But really, seeing her happy like this is all I need.
• Arthur: Thank you, Effie. I couldn't have stated it any better. Besides, I would just be courting disaster if I went there too. Imagine me--- charging out of the crashing surf! Only to slip on a jellyfish! Oh, the stinging! And then, I'd run in search of a potion to quell the pain. Only to run smack into a tree! Oh, the coconuts! In short, a tropical disaster.
• Effie: I'd just train on the beach. So I might as well just be here. What's in Lady Elise's letter?
• Arthur: Hmm. Yes, the letter. What does she write...? "Thank you, Effie and Arthur. I've had SO much fun here. I was going to buy you gifts, but then made you something instead! See? In the picture? I made you both leis. The red one is for you, Arthur. And, Effie, white for you! I love you bunches and bunches." And that's all she wrote.
• Effie: ... Waaah-aaah!
• Arthur: Effie! Your lance--- your fist shattered it!
• Effie: Um, yeah. Sorry. I was overcome by emotion.
• Arthur: Woah, there. Restrain your rampant passion! What would Lady Elise think if you strangled your lei?
• Effie: I know. I won't. But I might give her a BIG bear hug when she gets back.
• Arthur: Perish the thought! Our lady is a delicate flower.
• Effie: What was that? Sorry, I was just thinking how great she is. I must resume training. I need to be an unpierceable shield for her.
• Arthur: Such heroism! You inspire me, Effie. I must be the mightiest sword that I can be!
• Effie: I'll do my best for Lady Elise. And I know you will too. Now, let's get to the training field. We will spar.
• Arthur: Hmm? At this hour?
• Effie: How about this very minute? You and me--- a fight, now!
• Arthur: Superb idea! But please, just none of your bear hugs. Compared to your might, I'm a delicate flower too. Oh, come back, Lady Elise! Before Effie does me in...