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With Female Avatar
- Chrom: All right, everyone! Let's pair off and try some one-on-one sparring.
- Vaike: Oh-hoh! You ready to take on Teach, Chrom?
- Chrom: Vaike, maybe we should find new partners. Just to keep things fresh.
- Vaike: Pshaw! We're rivals. We have to fight! Ya can't turn your back on fate! ...Plus, I was really close to beatin' ya last time. Really, REALLY close.
- Chrom: Er, right. If you say so. But still, I think we should-
- Vaike: No, it's fine. I know what you're doing. You're trying to psyche me out!
- Chrom: Oh, come on! If we don't mix it up, we'll never keep ourselves sharp.
- Vaike: ...Oh, I see. Not enough suspense for ya, is that it? Then let's spice it up with a little wager! Everything we own - winner takes all!
- Chrom: ...Vaike? We're training for war. I can't very well gamble with the royal treasury.
- Vaike: Fine, fine! No gold. But how about this... The loser has to sneak up behind Frederick and pull down his pantaloons!
- Chrom: ...Are you mad? Frederick would chop you up like firewood! And then make a fire!
- Vaike: What's this now? Is someone... chicken? Ba-KAWK bawk bawk bawk bawk-
- Chrom: Oh, ALL RIGHT! I'll spar with you! ...Just stop that ridiculous clucking.
- Vaike: Har har! Yes! Now Chrom's got a full head of steam! Show 'ol Teach what ya got!
- Vaike: It's fightin' time, Chrom!
- Chrom: Very well. But on one condition...
- Vaike: Condition? It's not like you to ask for a handicap...
- Chrom: Nothing of the sort, Vaike. It's just that... Well, Lissa was pretty upset after our last duel. Poor girl was crying her eys out. She said we were taking our sparring much too seriously. She made me promise to go easy and fight safe so neither of us gets hurt.
- Vaike: Har har har! Yeah, taht last clash was a real doozy. Good times, good times... But, uh, listen, Chrom. You're gonna have to explain this "fight safe" concept to me.
- Chrom: I've been pondering that myself. Perhaps we could decide the winner... with a coin flip?
- Vaike: Good gods, no! I don't want lady luck pickin' the winner. Not between us, anway. ...Hey, I got it! What say you and me have a good old-fashioned cooking contest?! You make something, I make something, and we'll see who comes out on top.
- Chrom: Er, well, I suppose... Though I was seldom allowed in the castle kitchens growing up...
- Vaike: Ah, you're right. Cookin' against royalty'd be like spearin' fish in a barrel. If I can't beat ya with honor, I got no interest in beatin' ya.
- Chrom: Hold on now! ...I didn't say no. I've roasted my share of campfire boar and have heard no complaints...
- Vaike: Har har! Then a cook-off it is! Get ready to taste my victory!
- Chrom: Ready for another duel, Vaike?
- Vaike: Naw, I'm bored with beating ya. We should fight other people.
- Chrom: Wait. When exactly did you beat me?
- Vaike: Hel-LO?! Remember the cookin' contest? Ol' Teach won that fair and square!
- Chrom: How do you figure? When you ate my dish, you fell backward off the chair and passed out. that made me the winner by knockout! ...Or are you denying you collapsed?
- Vaike: Kn-knockout?! You almost killed me with that slop you called goulash! I spent a week scrubbing the taste off my tongue! ...Look! Itsh shtill hurthz!
- Chrom: You didn't say we had to make the BEST dish. You just said it was a cooking contest.
- Vaike: B-but the whole point of a cooking contest is... Aw, forget it! Good gods, you really do hate losing, don't you?
- Chrom: And you don't?
- Vaike: ...Har har, yeah, I suppose you're right. We're birds of a feather, you and me. We love to compete. ...AND to win!
- Chrom: Well then? Are you ready for your fellow bird to knock you out of the sky?
- Vaike: Har! Bring it on, little man!
- Vaike: Ogre's teeth! Where in blue blazes has Chrom gone to?! Say, Lissa! You ain't seen that brother of yours skulkin' around, have ya?
- Lissa: If I had, I wouldn't tell YOU.
- Vaike: Oh, come on! It's nothin' serious! Why ya gotta take his side all the time?
- Lissa: Because he's my brother and I know you just want to hit him with something! Gods, you're like children, the both of you.
- Vaike: I could try explainin' it, but you wouldn't understand. It's a warrior thing.
- Lissa: More like an idiot thing. You know, there ARE other ways to communicate! Besidse bopping each other on the head with blunt axes, I mean.
- Vaike: Look, Lissa. The Vaike doesn't hate your bro. Heck, I like him! Most of the time... But we've gotta fight! Fate made us rivals, and who are we to deny fate?
- Lissa: Oh now, that is just absurd. So why, exactly, are you rivals?
- Vaike: Huh? Well, you know... Stuff.
- Lissa: No, I don't know! I think you have a grudge against Chrom, and that's all there is to it.
- Vaike: A grudge? No way! I RESPECT the man! He's the greatest warrior in the realm. But if you wanna be the very best, ya gotta beat the very best...
- Lissa: Ah-ha!
- Vaike: But don't go tellin' him I said that! If he knew I was praisin' him, I'd never hear the end of it every time we squared off!
- Lissa: Tee hee, don't worry, Teach. I'll keep your little secret.
- Lissa: Vaike? I asked Chrom about you, and do you know what he said? He said you're a great warrior and he's learning a lot from your duels.
- Vaike: Bah! He's just trying to soften up ol' Teach.
- Lissa: Er, but didn't you say pretty much the same thing about him the other day?
- Vaike: Keep your voice down! I told ya, that's between you and me.
- Lissa: Riiiight. How silly of me.
- Vaike: Did ya know that Chrom once put on a disguise and came to my little town? Never let on 'bout who he was, even when my axe took a... dislikin' to him. I used to thing royals were nothin' but puffed-up blowhards. Stick a pin in their silk-covered hides and woosh! ...All the air runs out of 'em. But that brother of yours... He changed my mind.
- Lissa: People are always reminding Chrom that he's royalty... He tends to forget.
- Vaike: I've dealt with a lot of fool ignorance since I joined the Shepards. People are always askin' who I think I am, a commoner lording it up with princes. I've had it from low-born and high-born alike... But never Chrom. It's like he doesn't care where I'm from, so long as I handle myself in a fight.
- Lissa: Vaike, behind all the bluster, I think you may love Chrom more than any of us.
- Vaike: Hey, don't go puttin' words in my mouth! And not a word of this to Chrom either! ...'Specially not that lovey-dovey part.
- Lissa: My, so many secrets we're sharing these days, tee hee...
- Vaike: One of these days, the Vaike needs to learn to keep is big yap shut.
- Lissa: Oh, don't be silly. I'm actually tickled you trust me. Just promise you'll try to get along with my brother, all right?
- Vaike: All right... but AFTER I beat him!
- Lissa: *Slurp chomp* So then Chrom, he... *chomp, chomp* *snort* So he said...
- Vaike: Look, either you should eat or you should talk. ...Actually, just eat, would you?
- Lissa: Okay, I'll... *chomp, chomp* *slurp*
- Vaike: You really think that brother of yours is the bee's knees, don't you?
- Lissa: *Schnorf slurp* Look who's talking! *Crunch* *chomp*
- Vaike: Cripes, why did I ever buy you that blasted mince pie in the first place...
- Lissa: Blackmail, remember? You know I'm terrible at keeping secrets when I'm hungry.
- Vaike: This is a fool bit of business, and no denyin'... Still, the more I hear your stories about Chrom, the more I admire him.
- Lissa: I'm SO proud of him... He's done so much for our people... and for me. I feel like anything I've accomplished I owe to him in one way or another.
- Vaike: Aw, what are you talkin' about? You expect ol' Teach to believe that?
- Lissa: Oh, don't mind me. I'm just blabbering.
- Vaike: Way I see it, you got lots to be proud of. I mean, 'sides your brother.
- Lissa: Do you really think so?
- Vaike: As sure as my name is Vaike the Mighty! Ya never back down from a challenge, and you're not all snooty like most royal folk. You're nice, and kind, and as beautiful as a goddess! Gods strike me down if it ain't the truth! You got plenty to be proud of!
- Lissa: Vaike, that's... Well, thank you. Even if it was a total exaggeration.
- Vaike: No japin'! You're all that and more! There's just so much good in ya.
- Lissa: Goodness... W-well, I suppose I could say the same of you, couldn't I? All that talk about fighting my brother? About being rivals? I know it's all just bluster. You don't want anyone to know what a kind, considerate, and wonderful man you are!
- Vaike: Aw, shucks... You're gonna make the Vaike blush...
- Maribelle: *Sigh*
- 'Vaike': Uh-oh. Something troublin' ya there, Maribelle? Cares got ya down? You can tell ol' Teach all about it!
- Maribelle: Oh, hello, Vaike...
- 'Vaike': ... Wait, what? No fancy zinger? No swipes at your old friend Vaike? That ain't you at all! This must be some serious troubles, eh?
- Maribelle: .....
- 'Vaike': Aw, come on, Maribelle. What is it?
- Maribelle: Vaike? Am I a... snob?
- Vaike: ... Is THAT what you're worried about? That kinda talk never seemed to bother you before. Why now?
- Maribelle: So I AM a snob! Oh, I knew it! I've been thinking a lot about myself and my behavior lately. And you know what? I'm a snob! A sad, inexcusable woman who is proud and vain beyond her station...
- Vaike: Whoa, hold on now! Don't be hasty. I mean, sure, when ya first got here, ya wouldn't even look at us normal folk-
- Maribelle: Yes, but you were all SO uncouth! What with the stench of the slum about you.
- Vaike: Now, see, there it is again. And just when I was startin' to think better of ya.
- Maribelle: Better of... me?
- Vaike: Today's the first time I've ever heard ya even consider you might be wrong. Dummy that I am, I thought for a moment ya might be changin' ways... But I guess a tigress don't slip her stripes so easily, huh?
- 'Maribelle': Pah! I hardly think it is YOUR place to criticize ME, miscreant!
- Vaike: Yeesh! The tigress kept her claws, too!
- Vaike: Whoa, look at them two fat, juicy apples! Luck is smilin' on ol' Teach today!
- 'Maribelle': Vaike? Might I have a moment?
- 'Vaike': Well, sure. What can I do ya for?
- Maribelle: I was told that Chrom wagered his dessert on some game with you and lost. This simply will not do. Gambling in such times is beyond shameful!
- Vaike: If there's shame in winning an apple fair and square, it's that it don't happen more often!
- Maribelle: Enough! You've had your fun, but it simply is not done. Hand over the ill-gotten fruit.
- Vaike: If ya want this apple, you'll have to earn it like I did- by rollin' the dice!
- Maribelle: You wish me to gamble to show you that gambling is wrong? I believe you are missing th point...
- Vaike: Well, all right. If you're to hoity-toity to toss dice with ol' Teach, then...
- Maribelle: I am NOT hoipy toipy... Hatty totty... Oh, FINE. Just give me the dice.
- Vaike: Har har! That's the spirit! But first, ya gotta say what you're wagering.
- 'Maribelle': Oh, whatever. It does not matter. Whatever you like.
- Vaike: Oh? Whatever I want, I can have of you?
- Maribelle: Virtue and right always prevail in the end. I've no doubt how this contest will turn out.
- Vaike: ... You ain't gambled much before, have ya?
- Vaike: Er, Maribelle? Milady? Would ya mind givin' this to Chrom?
- Maribelle: An apple? But I lost our bet...
- 'Vaike': Right, and that's why ya had to join me for a drink in a common alehouse. Our wager's settled. This is just me havin' a change of heart. Don't worry. It's fresh. I got it yesterday. Paid for it with my honest coin and everything.
- Maribelle: Then am I to assume you have renounced your gambling ways?
- Vaike: Well, I wouldn't go as far as to say that. Tomorrow's another day, eh?
- 'Maribelle': Fair enough. Still, I must admit... it was quite interesting to dine with the masses. And I ended up with an apple as well... Perhaps by losing, I actually won out!
- Vaike: Heh, you really didn't mind slumming it down with us common filith, eh?
- Maribelle: It was an absolutely fascinating experience! All the smallfolk are each so very different... I didn't even mind the smell, after a time.
- Vaike: Yeah, it didn't exactly go like I planned... I thought I'd teach you a lesson about how people take lookin' down your nose at 'em. But after ten minutes you had 'em all charmed. They loved you like a siater! Maybe you ain't such a snob after all.
- 'Maribelle': Perhaps not, tee hee. Oh but you simply MUST take me there again sometime. Do promise me, Vaike!
- Vaike: Uh... sure? I guess?
- 'Maribelle': Splendid! It's a date. Now I must find Chrom and deliver his apple.
- Maribelle leaves
- Vaike: ... The Vaike ain't wrong often, but maybe this time... I could be? Maybe I misjudged that woman...
- Maribelle: ... Checkmate.
- Vaike: Aw, donkey ears! Not again! These damn noble games are like stickin' hot needles in my brain!
- Maribelle: Please. Tantrums are so unbecoming. ... Elderberry tea?
- 'Vaike': Oh, er, sorry. ... Uh, milady. Tea would be... lovely.
- 'Maribelle': Now don't gulp it down like a drowning fish! Sip gently... Let the palate savor it... You did say you wanted to acquire noble manners, correct?
- Vaike: Somethin' like that, yeah. I figured if you can get along with commoners, I can learn to like nobles.
- 'Maribelle': Your commitment is admirable. Now, what shall we have you do next? Hmmm...
- Vaike: Hey, what about-
- 'Maribelle': Tsk! I won our last wager, remember? Next we do whatever I say.
- Vaike: Ya know, for someone so against it, you sure got fond of gambling quick!
- Maribelle: This isn't gambling! It only counts if obe wagers money or valuables... Speaking of which, perhaps you'd care to show me that thing you've been hiding?
- Vaike: Wh-what? You mean this ol thing? Aw, it's just-
- Maribelle: It's a ring, is it not?
- Vaike: Yeah, it's a ring. I ordered it special. Actually, it's... It's f-for you. ... Milady. It's... an engagement ring... You've got a sharp tounge, sure, but things are never dull when you're around... And old Teach just hates it when things are dull! ... So I was thinkin' maybe-
- Maribelle: *Ahem* Vaike, I have decidedhow you can settle your debt from our last wager.
- Vaike: ... Yeah?
- Maribelle: Give me that ring, and make me the happiest woman in all of the realm! You may have lost the bet, but you have won my heart.
- Vaike: Aw gladly, milady, gladly! ... Wait, you're saying you'll marry me, right?
- Nowi: *Sniffle*
- Vaike: Hey! What;s all the snifflin' about?
- Nowi: Oh, n-nothing...
- Vaike: Ha! You can't fool the Vaike! I'm a master of psych... Er, psik... Ya know. Mind stuff!
- Nowi: I had a frightening dream.
- Vaike: A nightmare, eh? What about? Beasts? Ghouls? Snaggletooth witches?
- Nowi: I was all alone. Everyone had left me. Even Chrom and Avatar.
- Vaike: Well, that's a daft dream! Chrom and Avatar would never do that. Heck, no Shepherd would do that.
- Nowi: But in a hundred years you will. You'all all be gone.
- Vaike: Oh. Well, I guess so, yeah.
- Nowi: Then I WILL be alone! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
- Vaike: Look, ya can't go weepin' over what might happen a hundred years from now! Ya gotta live in the present and have fun while ya still can.
- Nowi: That's easier said than done.
- Vaike: If you've got time to brood about the future centuries, you've got time to have fun. In fact, let's play a game right now! How about Headless Soldier?
- Nowi: Yaaay!
- Nowi: Okay, I think I've got it this time... PLTHTHTH... PSZZZTHTHTH...
- Vaike: BWA HA HA! That's the worst whistlin' I've ever heard! Here, let me show ya again...
- Nowi: No! I've almost got it. Listen... PLSHTHTHTHT... *splutter*
- Vaike: Ya sound like a camel that swallowed its bagpipes. But you're lucky. You got all the time in the world to practice.
- Nowi: Lucky? Ha! I don't see what's so great about it.
- Vaike: Gallopin' geldings, what I wouldn't give for an extra century or two! Then I know I could make my dream come true!
- Nowi: Dream? What dream?
- Vaike: To become the greatest warrior in the land and help the children of my old slum town. I want to improve their lot so they can help pull up folks around 'em. By the time I'm done, I'll have made life better for EVERYONE!
- Nowi: Oh! What a wonderful dream!
- Vaike: I was inspired by the exalt. She made a speech in my town once, see? But the thing is, I don't have enough time to make it all happen. If I had a few extra decades, I might be able to make somethin' of it.
- Nowi: Hey, I have an idea! If you die before you fulfill your dream, I could take over! With the two of us together, I know we could make it come true.
- Vaike: Really? You'd do that for Ol' Teach?!
- Nowi: *Siiiiiiigh*
- Vaike: Aw, come on! You're too young and pretty to be mopin' like this!
- Nowi: Vaike, I'm older than you. ...MUCH older.
- Vaike: Yeah, I know. But you're still a kid at heart, right? Anyway, what's the matter? Another scary dream?
- Nowi: The thing is, Vaike, I really like you. And that makes me sad. *Sniff* Because it means I'm really gonna miss you when you're gone!
- Vaike: Hey, don't bury me yet! And besides, you'll be helpin' me with my dream. It's like havin' me right there!
- Nowi: I promised to do that, and I will. But it's going to be so awful and sad and...and lonely without you. And then everyone else is gonna go away and...and...WAAAAAAAAAH!
- Vaike: H-hey now! Don't start cryin', Nowi! I ain't goin' nowhere.
- Nowi: P-promise? *sniff*
- Vaike: I guarantee it! So wipe away those tears, and let's start enjoyin' the day!
- Nowi: Th-thanks, Vaike. I feel better.
- Vaike: Har har! That's more like it!
- Nowi: Hey, Vaike? Is it really true that you'll never leave me?
- Vaike: This again? Look, Nowi! I promised, didn't I? How many times are ya gonna ask the same question?!
- Nowi: I'm sorry. But I can't help thinking it's a promise you won't be able to keep.
- Vaike: All right, all right! One more time. I vow to never leave you—cross my heart!
- Nowi: Oh, thank you, Vaike! As long as YOU'RE with me, I'll never be lonely!
- Vaike: My company's that good?
- Nowi: It sure is!
- Vaike: Well then, uh... Maybe you'd do me the honor of acceptin' this.
- Nowi: Oh, a ring! How pretty!
- Vaike: Now you don't have to ask if I'm leavin' again. This proves I'll stay.
- Nowi: It...proves it?
- Vaike: That's right. It means I'll be your friend and stay by your side forever.
- Nowi: But what about—
- Vaike: Yes, even after I'm worm food! All ya have to do is close your eyes, hold this ring, and imagine me. Next thing ya know, I'll be standin' right next to ya! So stop worryin' all right?
- Nowi: Th-thank you, Vaike. You have...no idea what this means to me... *sniff*
- Vaike: Aww, don't start cryin' again!
- Vaike: ...Huh?
- Olivia: *Sob*
- Vaike: What's wrong there, Olivia? Whatcha cryin' about?
- Olivia: The scent on the wind...
- Vaike: *Sniff* ...Huh? Wind smells fine to me! What's wrong with it?
- Olivia: It's the fragrance of change -- of the passing of the seasons. I cannot help but weep.
- Vaike: It's the what now?
- Olivia: Oh, no! Did I say that out loud?! Oh, I'm so EMBARRASSED! D-don't look at me!
- Vaike: Er, yeah. I'm gettin' increasingly confused by this conversation.
- Olivia: Why do these kinds of things ALWAYS happen to me?!
- Vaike: You mean sniffin' the air and breakin' into uncontrollable sobs?
- Olivia: Stars on a cloudless night... A single strawberry on a plate... A flock of birds soaring across the blue skies... Such beauty strikes my heart and overcomes me with emotion!
- Vaike: Just sounds like yer cryin' over a buncha weird stuff, if ya ask me. But hey, we all got our problems, right?
- Olivia: Yes...I suppose so.
- Vaike: Er, so these mooning fits of yours don't happen on the battlefield, right?
- Olivia: Oh, no! In combat, I remain totally focused at all times.
- Vaike: See then? Ya got nothin' to worry about! Still, ya might wanna avoid sniffin' the air with other folks around. People might think you're weird.
- Olivia: Er, yes. I'll try to keep that in mind. I'm sorry for putting you to trouble.
- Vaike: You ain't gotta apologize to ol' Teach! Just keep yer chin up, all right?
- Olivia: Oh, yes. Of course. I'm sorry I'm not more cheer--
- Vaike: Ogre's teeth, lady! Stop apologizin'!
- Olivia: S-sorry...
- Vaike: ......
- Olivia: Oh, I'm SO sorry, Vaike!
- Vaike: Lemme guess: ya saw a wildflower at the bottom of the cliff and got all weepy. And THEN ya nearly fell off the dang thing 'cause ya couldn't see. That the gist of it?
- Olivia: Th-that's about it, yes. If you hadn't come along...
- Vaike: You'd have plummeted to your death. I know. Listen, why are you like this?
- Olivia: I don't know! I just... *sniff*
- Vaike: You're like one'a them long-haired weirdos that bangs gongs in the street.
- Olivia: *Snff* I'm sorry...
- Vaike: Gads, you do like to apologize, don't ya? I really wish you'd knock it off.
- Olivia: S-sorry...
- Vaike: Look, stop it. Try to say somethin' else for a change, all right? Like "Oh, Vaike, yer so wonderful!" or...somethin'.
- Olivia: Er, well... That is...
- Vaike: C'mon, you don't have to be so shy! You're talkin' to the Vaike here!
- Olivia: Th-thank you.
- Vaike: Hmmmmmmm?
- Olivia: For...you know. Saving me. Just now.
- Vaike: Oh, that. Har har! That ain't nothin'.
- Olivia: Oh, gosh. That wasn't a very good thank you, was it? I'm so sorr--
- Vaike: DON'T say it! It was great! Perfect! No need for any more apologizin'!
- Olivia: Oh, you must forgiv-- Er, I mean...all right.
- Olivia: Oh, er, Vaike?
- Vaike: Yep?
- Olivia: I...wanted to say something about earlier. When I almost fell off the cliff?
- Vaike: Just so long as ya don't go apologizin' again!
- Olivia: Oh, no. Actually, what I wanted to say was... Vaike, I think you're wonderful.
- Vaike: Huh?
- Olivia: Oh, GODS! Did I say the wrong thing?! I did, didn't I? Oh, I'm just going--
- Vaike: No, it was fine! I just...wasn't expectin' it, is all. And while I agree about the wonderful bit, what's it got to do with the cliff?
- Olivia: Well, er, it's just that when we spoke afterward, you told me... That is... See, you asked me to say that you're wonderful. So I thought about it, and--
- Vaike: That was AGES ago!
- Olivia: Er, so?
- Vaike: Look, Olivia. Ya can't just go savin' up compliments for whenever. If somebody does somethin' great like savin' yer life, ya tell 'em right away! Not weeks later when everyone's forgotten about it!
- Olivia: Oh. Sorry...
- Vaike: ......
- Olivia: But you DID save my life. So now I have to find some way to repay you.
- Vaike: Well, there is ooone thing you could do for me, I s'pose. Wanna hear it?
- Olivia: Oh, yes! Please, I'd love to!
- Vaike: No more apologizin' to me. Ever.
- Olivia: Er...
- Vaike: "Sorry this" and "sorry that" makes it impossible to have a proper chat. And, frankly, I was kinda hopin' we could sit down and talk sometime!
- Olivia: Oh? I-I see... Then I'll try...
- Vaike: Say, Olivia? You got a sec? I was hopin' we could chat.
- Olivia: Of course, Vaike. What is it?
- Vaike: Well, I was just thinkin'... Ever since ya stopped with the apologizin', we've been havin' some great times! Don't ya think?
- Olivia: Oh, er...yes... I suppose... I mean, I like talking to you! ...I think. Mostly.
- Vaike: Right! And 'cause it's all goin' so swimmingly, I thought I'd give ya this. If ya take it, we'll be able to keep talkin' till we're old and batty!
- Olivia: ...Oh my gosh, Vaike. Is this a ring?
- Vaike: Oh, and uh... You know our little rule? Well, consider it suspended for now.
- Olivia: What do you mean?
- Vaike: I mean, ya can apologize to me right now if...ya know. If ya need to. Otherwise it'd be hard for ya to turn me down and all. I mean, if that were-- Hey, are you backin' away from me?
- Olivia: Oh, gods, I'm SO embarrassed, I have to... I have to...
- Vaike: Hey, it ain't like I do this every day either, sister! Mopin' monkeys, she just took off! She's a funny one, that girl. Hope she comes back soon. The Vaike don't wanna stand here all day like a chump... ...... Yup. Aaanytime would be great. Just any old time now.
- Olivia: ...Er, Vaike?
- Vaike: There she is!
- Olivia: Um, that was... I mean... I shouldn't have run off like that.
- Vaike: It's all right. You can say it. I told ya, apologies'll be accepted.
- Olivia: No. That's the thing... You don't have to lift the rule. ...See?
- Vaike: ...You're wearin' it? You're wearin' the ring!
- Olivia: I think it suits me.
- Vaike: Course it does! I ordered it all special for ya!
- Olivia: I'm very honored, Vaike. Er, Vaike?
- Vaike: Yep?
- Olivia: I...I love you.
- Vaike: Holy ogre toes! Why didn't ya say so before now?!
- Olivia: Because I'm...bad at communicating...
- Vaike: Look, I tell ya what. You marry me, and I'll do the talkin' for the both of us. Sound like a plan?
- Olivia: It certainly does!
- Vaike: Egads, lady! That STINGS!
- Cherche: Hush. That's how you know it's working.
- Vaike: Your bedside manner could do with a bit of work.
- Cherche: You're the one who tried to fight my poor wyvern, Minerva, with your bare hands! If I hadn't come along when I did-
- Vaike: If you hadn't come along, I woulda won! I was just linin' up my finishin' blow.
- Cherche: Is this when you were curled on the ground with your hands over your head? Or when you were running amok like a sad, headless chicken?
- Vaike: H-hey! How long were you watchin' ol' Teach, anyway?
- Cherche: Oh, look. Another cut. Let me just...
- Vaike: YEEEEEE-OWCH!
- Cherche: Hee hee! Now, the next time you fancy wrestling a wyvern, don't expect me to save you. Stay away from the stables unless you want to serve as Minerva's supper.
- Vaike: Bah! That dumb lizard just got lucky. Next time I'll show her who's number one!
- Cherche: ... Number one in her feed bowl, perhaps.
- Cherche: Vaike? What ar you doing to Minerva?
- Vaike: Huh? Me? With Minerva? Well, I, uh... Oh, you mean THIS Minerva! ... Yeah, I ain't doin' nothin'.
- Cherche: Then why are you crouched in the mud while she stands over you and drools? Down, Minerva! Down! ... That's a good wyvern. Why, I do elieve she's playing with you! I haven't seen her this excited since the time she brought down that wild griffon.
- Vaike: Yeah, well, ya know how it is. Mutual respect grows when ya fight with folks and... all that. Ain't that right, Minerva? Har har har!
- Cherche: Are you saying you've learned to communicate with my Minerva? This is really quite amazing. She's actually taken a shine to you!
- Vaike: Yeah, but you're still number one in her book.
- Cherche: Well, I'm glad you two are getting along.
- Vaike: That's us, all right! Bosom buddies! Thicker'n thieves! Pals for life!
- Cherche: ..... Just don't get TOO friendly with her. She's MY wyvern, remember?
- Vaike: Wh-what? Har har! No! Ol' Teach wouldn't dream of it.
- Cherche: ... Now will you please clamber out of the mud and come over here? You've picked up a few more scratches from your latest play session.
- Vaike: You ain't gonna use more of that stingy stuff, are ya?
- Cherche: We'll see...
- Cherche: So? How was your first experience riding on the back of a wyvern?
- Vaike: It was amazin'! Everybody looks so tiny from up there!
- Cherche: I'm astonished she trusts you enough to let you ride on her back. You two have truly formed a special bond.
- Vaike: Well, I've been feedin' her and givin' her water and cleanin' out her stable, so...
- Cherche: Is that so? Why, thank you, Vaike.
- Vaike: Aw, it's my pleasure! Anythin' to help out a friend, right? ... Heh. I used to think wyverns were hideous lookin', but Minerva's just a big ol' puppy!
- Cherche: It's true- they really are the most adorable creatures around! We've been together for over 10 years, and she's more beautiful than ever.
- Vaike: Wait a second! You were ridin' Minerva back when you were a kid?! How's that possible? And where'd ya get her, anyway?
- Cherche: I met her when I wondered into Wyvern Valley.
- Vaike: Blisterin' behemoths! You entered that chasm of horror ALONE? As a KID?!
- Cherche: I wanted to have an adventure. Minerva was just a baby then, with the cutest round eyes!
- Vaike: That's... kind of amazin'. Okay, so you brought her home, right? What then? Didja fight duels to get to know each other or what?
- Cherche:Not exactly. I was training to be a cleric at the time and used a very heavy staff. Whenever she misbehaved, I'd just bonk her on the head. Soon she was meek as a bunny, and I was riding her to school.
- Vaike: That musta been a handful for your teachers...
- Cherche: Ever since then, Minerva and I have been simply inseparable. Oh, I forgot- I also apologized for bonking her on the head.
- Vaike: Beautiful, smart, funny, AND kind! You are some woman, Cherche!
- Cherche: Sir, you should know that flattery will get you nowhere with me.
- Vaike: It ain't flattery! It's the truth! Seriously. Ol' Teach ain't bright enough to think up flattery on the spot like that.
- Vaike: Heya, Cherche.
- Cherche: Oh, hello, Vaike. Are you here to see Minerva?
- Vaike: Nope. I'm here to see you. Actually, uh... I've kinda been usin' Minerva as an excuse for awhile now. I just like bein' around ya, ya know? You're smart, and funny, and... I dunno. I like it.
- Cherche: So you made friends with Minerva in order to get closer to me?
- Vaike: I wasn't tryin' to decieve ya or nothin'! I just couldn't think of a better plan.
- Cherche: How delightful!
- Vaike: Look, I... I kinda got ya somethin'. Ordered it special and everythin'. It's a ring. See, I was hopin' ya might... I dunno. Marry me?
- Cherche: Why, that's very sweet, Vaike. But what about Minerva?
- Vaike: Oh, she'd be part of the family, too!
- Cherche: Are you sure you want the responsibility? Feed costs alone are a tremendous burden. You can't just let her fly around and pick up random animals off the hillsides.
- Vaike: Oh, that ain't good. I've been lettin' her roast wild boars and stuff. But, uh, sure! If you want it, I'll buy her the finest wyvern chow around!
- Cherche: Oh, and we'll need a house that has enough room for all three of us.
- Vaike: Gods' beards! That's a huge house! I suppose I'll have to build it... But, uh, can it maybe wait until after the war?
- Cherche: That should be fine. Oh, wait! Another thing...
- Vaike: Monkey meat, there's MORE?! listen, I don't mind-
- Cherche: Hee hee hee! I'm just joking, Vaike. ... About everything. As long as you promise to be kind to Minerva, that's all either of us needs.
- Vaike: Well, that's a relief! I thought you were gonna make a pauper out of the Vaike! So will ya marry me, then?
- Cherche: How could I possibly turn you down? Of course I will!
- Vaike: Aw, ya just made me the happiest man in the realm! I can't wait to see Chrom's face when I tell him I'VE got the prettiest girl!
- Cherche: Oh, Vaike. Minerva will be so pleased you said that about her!
- Vaike: I wasn't talkin' about the wyvern...
With Owain (Son)
With Inigo (Son)
- Inigo: Ugh, Father! That gorgeous girl was just about to say yes to a date! JUST about to! Did you really have to drag me off like that?!
- Vaike: We've got a battle to prepare for, Inigo! Everyone else is ready to march. If you're mad, be mad at yourself for losing track of time.
- Inigo: Oh, heh heh heh... Whoops... All right, time to go trounce some enemies and find a village lass to reward my efforts!
- Vaike: ......
- Inigo: You're staring, Father. Is there something on my face?
- Vaike: No. I was just wonderin' if you were like this in the future, too.
- Inigo: Depends on what you mean by "like this," I suppose.
- Vaike: For someone who came from an apocalyptic hellscape, you're awfully carefree. Seems like you haven't a care in the world past whose bed you'll be sharing tonight. Lucina's so driven and serious... It's strange you don't have any of that purpose.
- Inigo: No purpose?! I'll have you know I'm EXTREMELY driven!
- Vaike: Is that so? The Vaike is listening...
- Inigo: Indeed! I will not rest until every woman in the realm swoons at just hearing my name!
- Vaike: ...Your purpose in life is to be popular with girls? You literally traveled across time...to be popular with girls?!
- Inigo: To be popular with ALL girls. Genius, I know. But stop, Father. You're making me blush.
- Vaike: I'm at a loss for words!
- Inigo: Why? It never bothered you when Mother would blush in front of you!
- Vaike: No, that ain't the... Ahh, never mind. Talkin' with you is exhausting. I'm goin' on ahead.
- Inigo: ...... ...Not a care in the world, eh? Not a thought in my head, he means! For being such a softy with everyone else, he sure doesn't pull any punches with me...
- Inigo: Ow! This one's pretty bad. I can't go back to camp like this...
- Vaike: Somethin' wrong, Inigo? Everyone else has already headed back.
- Inigo: F-Father?! Er, I just...thought I saw a cute milkmaid at the edge of the battlefield!
- Vaike: Hah! You're a worse liar than your mother! It's obvious your leg is wounded.
- Inigo: It's fine, it's--GYAAAH! Ow! Ow, ow ow! No, don't touch it! Don't touch it!
- Vaike: This is a serious injury, Inigo! Why didn't ya say somethin'?
- Inigo: What, and ruin my reputation? The ladies want Inigo the Invincible.
- Vaike: All right, that's ENOUGH!
- Inigo: ...Father?
- Vaike: You can barely walk, and you're still thinkin' about girls?! Be serious for once! Really, why did you travel back from the future? Lucina fights so hard, but you... Honestly, I'm disappointed. You got no idea what it means to be at war.
- Inigo: ...... You don't know a damned thing! You're the one who's clueless, Father!
- Vaike: Wh-what?
- Inigo: Do you think I'd be out here if I were ONLY after girls? Out here fighting every day, wondering if this is the time I don't make it home?!
- Vaike: Inigo, I didn't--
- Inigo: You may think me a dandy and a fool, but a lot of people depended on me in the future. Every day, I was out there fighting Risen and risking my life. With everyone looking to me to be strong, I had no choice. I HAD to be invincible. I couldn't complain or show any weakness. Not with everyone else struggling in that damn war-torn wasteland... Even with you and Mother gone, I had to pretend I was fine. That I wasn't hurting. I had to fight every day of my sorry life and wear a smile while I did it!
- Vaike: ......
- Inigo: ...You said I looked like I didn't have a care in the world? Well, I'm sorry to tell you, but that's not the case at all. I smile and joke around because I don't want to show the world any weakness... If that disappoints you...then I guess you'll just have to be disappointed.
- Vaike: Inigo, listen...
- Inigo: That said, I do appreciate the concern... I'll get the leg looked at.
- Vaike: ...... I... I had no idea...
- Vaike: Inigo! I wanted to speak with you.
- Inigo: Hey, Father! Here, have a look! My leg's all healed, see?
- Vaike: Heck, that's great!
- Inigo: Thanks for making me get it looked at. ...And...I'm sorry to have worried you.
- Vaike: No, I'M sorry! For what I said. It was...insensitive... You've been fightin' with all you've got. I got no right to criticize you.
- Inigo: Pfft, you still thinking about that? Ancient history. Plus...it was my fault, too.
- Vaike: Still...
- Inigo: Seriously, it's fine! Cheer up!
- Vaike: Huh?
- Inigo: You always seem so gloomy lately. Let's see a smile for once!
- Vaike: Ah ha ha! Stop that! S-stop! It really tickles! Ha ha ha!
- Inigo: Ha ha, there it is! That's better! I didn't come all this way to see you mope around, you know?
- Vaike: ...That was why you came back? To make the Vaike happy?
- Inigo: Well...yeah. You, and me, and everybody. The whole world, I guess. Anyway, I suppose I'm okay telling you that now.
- Vaike: Hell, you can tell me anything!
- Inigo: You say that now, but I don't want to hear any complaints once I get going! I may be all smiles on the outside, but I'm actually pretty sensitive. And pessimistic. ...Oh, and I cry at the drop of a hat. Whenever a girl turns me down, I'm a complete mess for days.
- Vaike: Ha! You can stop kiddin' now, Inigo. I'm already smilin'.
- Inigo: Oh, I'm not kidding... All the stuff about the girls -- it was never part of the act.
- Vaike: Hey, the Vaike loves the ladies, so I can't hold it against ya. You're a strong man, Inigo, and I couldn't be prouder of ya. But no one is invincible, and ya shouldn't pretend to be. If somethin's wrong, come to me. We'll figure it out together.
- Inigo: Father... I knew you loved me, but... Oh, thank you!
- Vaike: Waugh! N-neck! Inigo, my neck! Too tight! C-can't breathe!
- Inigo: I-it's your own fault! I don't think you've ever said anything like that to me before! And listen -- the same goes for you. Whatever the problem, I'll help. I'll be damned if I'm going to lose you twice.
- Vaike: And I'll be damned if I'm ever gonna lose such a wonderful son!
With Brady (Son)
With Kjelle (Daughter)
With Severa (Daughter)
With Gerome (Son)
With Yarne (Son)
With Laurent (Son)
With Noire (Daughter)
With Nah (Daughter)
- Nah: *Sigh* Dealing with Mother is just so exasperating! All she ever does is play, play, play, as if she hasn't a care in the world!
- Vaike: What's wrong, Nah? You seem pretty sour there.
- Nah: Oh, hello, Father. I was just thinking about Mother again... How do you stand her>? Don't you find her incredibly childish? Annoying, even? She spends almost all of her time running around camp playing games.
- Vaike: Weird. I was just thinkin' how the both of ya are so similar... But no, I don't find her annoyin'. It's who she is, and I don't expect her to change.
- Nah: Tsk! Father, you're MUCH too kind. If you're always this tolerant, she'll never learn to act her age!
- Vaike: Well, I...
- Nah: What do you like about her, anyway? I have no idea what you see in her... Unless...you rushed into marriage for some reason? Like you got her—
- Vaike: What?! D-don't be ridiculous! The Vaike knew exactly what he was gettin' into!
- Nah: Oh? That's quite a protest there... I guessed right, didn't I?
- Vaike: N-no! I was plenty aware of her frivolous side! I found it...charming. Yeah, that's it. Charming.
- Nah: You know what, Father? I don't believe you one bit. Come now, spit it out. Why DID you marry her?
- Vaike: Enough! Ya shouldn't be talkin' about your mother like this!
- Nah: Hey, stop! Don't run away from me! WAAAAAAAIT!
- Nah: Father! Cornered you at last! It's time we finished our conversation.
- Vaike: Nah, you're awfully persistent, but that discussion's over. I'm not gettin' into more detail about why I chose your mother, and that's final!
- Nah: AWWWWWW. Why not?! A daughter simply MUST know how her parents fell in love! You don't understand how a woman's heart works. You're so CRUEL!
- Vaike: Aren't you a little young to be worryin' about a "woman's heart," yourself?
- Nah: ...Did you just mention my AGE?! Gods, forget what I said. It's a wonder any woman deigned to choose YOU...
- Vaike: Hey, I know what you're tryin' to do here. But don't forget, I AM your father. Ya keep this up, I WILL get upset, and I WILL punish ya...
- Nah: Eep! S-sorry, Father. I didn't mean to make you angry...I swear.
- Vaike: All right, all right then. I appreciate the apology.
- Nah: I've been selfish and unreasonable. Please find it in your heart to forgive me.
- Vaike: Yeah, of course. But—
- Nah: I guess I've wasted enough of your time. I'll just be...going now.
- Vaike: No, wait.
- Nah: Yes?
- Vaike: Ya seem so crestfallen... You all right?
- Nah: *Sigh* I suppose I'll just have to deal with the crushing disappointment, won't I? I mean, if my father is going to become so angry over a simple, innocent question...
- Vaike: Um, yeah, well... See, it's just—
- Nah: No, no. You don't have to explain. I'm used to dealing with hardship. Being spurned by my own father is just another drop in my bucket of torment. Hardly worth mentioning at all. Truly! ...Anyway, have a nice day.
- Vaike: B-b-but... ...Gods, is this really what I have to look forward to for the next decade?
- Vaike: Nah...
- Nah: Why, hello, Father. What can I do for you?
- Vaike: About the other day, when ya said ya were used to disappointment... What exactly did ya mean by that?
- Nah: Oh, that... I was talking about growing up in my foster home.
- Vaike: What, ya mean Nowi wasn't around to raise ya?
- Nah: No. I never knew either of my parents. I was sent to live with the family of one of my father's soldier friends. But my new family wasn't very welcoming to their semihuman-mongrel foster child.
- Vaike: Don't say that.
- Nah: I soon learned that I'd have to work hard to fit in and survive in my new home. I did chores before I was asked. I helped defend the house from marauding Risen. I thought that if I could make myself useful, they would stop...hating me. I mean, how could they resent a child that always helped and never asked for anything? But they never accepted me... I just learned to deal with disappointment. I had no friends. No one to talk to. ...I was utterly alone. And I never once mentioned how much I missed my father and mother. *Sniff* I...I didn't even ask...when...when would they come back for me...
- Vaike: ...Nah, I...
- Nah: Wh-when I arrived here, I wanted to find out everything I could about them. *sniff* Th-that's why I keep asking so many questions and making you angry...
- Vaike: I'm sorry, Nah. I've been a real heel about this whole thing... I'll tell ya anythin' ya wanna know about your mother. ...Even how we fell in love. And if you're ever feeling lost or sad, I'll be right here for ya. As long as I'm around, ya won't ever be lonely again.
- Nah: T-truly? Do you really mean it?! Oh, thank you, Father!
- Vaike: Not at all, Nah. Now, tell me, what do ya wanna know?
- Nah: Let's start with how you proposed to Mother! What'd you say? What'd you do?! I want to hear EVERYTHING, and don't leave out even the smallest detail!
- Vaike: *Sigh* Well...as ya know, your mother's always looked real young, and...